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Hey guys, I'd really appreciate some feedback and clues for dealing with the situation I'm having now. I'll try to make it short while give as much information as I can.
I've known this girl for a long time as she's my older sister's friend - yeah, she's 5 years older and I'm 25 - but it doesn't stop me from considering it an opportunity. Anyway, she's pretty hot, HB9 I'd say, and until recently she started to hang out with my sis at home a lot as my sis just came back for vacation. It's funny, I never gave much thought about her and we barely talked before, but it seemed we clicked well this time. She almost laughs at everything I say and is very easy to get along with. No IOI as far as I can tell though, but no awkwardness or age gap either. On the day before my sis left I asked her FB (didn't want to go for number since my sis is around and don't want to make her feel weird). Now since my sis is gone, only way I could have contact her is through FB.
do you know what an ioi is? it's just interest man, not sexual escalation or anything, if she is showing indications of interest, those are ioi's
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So here's how the FB game goes so far. I initiated the first talk through introducing her a job opportunity, which we talked in person before, then made some jokes we can relate to, and ended with her leaving to do something. I waited a few days before I initiate the second talk, this time asking her about how the job searching has been. She answered she's been dealing with some other problems. then somehow we started to talk about movies, and I said there was a really funny movie she should watch, she said she could really use some good laugh now. I didn't ask her out immediately, though it seems like a pretty damn good point to. We had great convo, involving lots of laughs and jokes, then I told her I should get back to work and is very busy recently. Then before I go, I said if she doesn't mind, I can go watch the movie with her again. She said ok, but only after she's done dealing with her problems, "hopefully tomorrow". I said yeah me too I need to wait until I'm not as busy. (I really have a lot of work too actually, though not to a point I can't squeeze out one day for it.)
Now it's the sticky point. We only talked on FB 2 times, both initiated by me, I don't want to appear needy as I try to distract myself through work. It's been 2 days now, she may have been done with her problems - should I keep waiting for her initiation and appear busy? Or should I ask her out, and if I should, how should I word it without sounding needy? I think she's gonna be a big challenge, though not completely unapproachable one, but I'd take things easy for now at least.
forget about appearing needy, you are needy, fix the mind frame, stop worrying about if you get her or not and take your best shot, sitting there needing to get her and having to have the perfect thing and not going for it, is the definition of needing it
you are not desperate, your life won't end if this doesn't work out, there are plenty more women out there if this goes south, stop pussy footing around this, she was giving you ioi's and you are blind cause you don't believe in yourself, once the girl shows you some positive signs that she doesn't hate you, it's time to escalate, she either complies or doesn't comply it's not the end of the world if she isn't interested, but in the future if you are using the mystery method 3 ioi's and it's time to start qualifying her (finding reasons *qualifications* for why you like her, and letting her know you like her *letting her know she is qualified*)
but give it a real honest shot, you are counting yourself out of the game before it has even started
CHAT