Should a FOUR YEAR Relationship End?



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:09 pm 
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Hi guys, my name is Alex. Im 24, and I live in Toronto, Canada.

I have a nagging dilemma which has been bothering me for quite some time, but before I delve into it, I would like to set the stage quickly. (I believe this to be important)

I believe I am a very valuable individual. I consider myself to be:

- Better looking than most
- Smart
- Confident
- Outgoing (even outspoken)
- More mature, and affluent than others my age

I study at the top university in the country, manage a super nightclub with HUNDREDS of employees, and have recently invested in real estate.

Before I sound too arrogant (too late), here is my issue.

I am currently in a four year relationship with a woman I love. She is the only girl I have EVER had sex with. We have been the envy of many, and it has been made clear to us various times by many people. She is very trustworthy, loyal, and loving. She also allows me to do whatever, whenever I want because I demand it. She even once told me if I cheated on her she would be okay with it. (Have never, and will never do it, I respect her too much) She has grown to be very attached to me, and I can sense it.

Despite this, for some reason, I have always found myself looking for something more. I have the supposed "dream relationship", but for some reason I am not happy. I am constantly tempted by other women, and when I ward them off, I immediately feel like I am missing out.

As I grow older, I notice the women are more mature, and desirable to talk to (girls in high school are extremely immature). I now LOVE flirting, and talking to women. Talking to women, and creating stimulating conversation is very enjoyable for me. I realize that this fuels the fire, because escalation cues are constantly given by other women. I feel frustrated that I cannot do anything more than just talk to them.

I work with, and am the boss of at least 150 smoking hot 10s. These girls make it tough. Working in nightclubs have conditioned them to be experts in seduction.... and they exercise that on me constantly. I realize that these women have little moral values, and would do anything for money. This gives me a very cynical impression on women in my age group.

My school is huge, and bustling with hot, young, naive (awesome) young women who are seemingly tired on the immature little boys in their age group.

In my opinion, the main reason I have stayed with my girlfriend so long is because she is very trustworthy, and she does her best to satisfy my every need. I have grown to love her, but can I really be so sure? I believe my fundamental problem is that I have not experienced other women enough..... or at all! I feel trapped into staying in my relationship because we are "perfect", and it is the "right thing to do". I am also cynical about other women.

Here are my questions....

- What should I do?

- Why do I feel this way? Is it greed? Arrogance?

- I realize some would kill, pillage, and destroy for our relationship, so why am I not happy? Lack of challenge?

- I know breaking up with my girlfriend would be devastating for her, as I have tried to do it before, but have decided to go back to her. Am I staying with her out of guilt? Loyalty? Insecurity? Hmmmmm.

- Am I just calibrating my expectations of women based on my successes? Why is my bar so high? Why am I constantly looking for "better"?

I appreciate, and thank anyone who took the time to read this, and any advice, or input would be VERY helpful, as I have been thinking this way for about a year now.

Best,

Alex


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:17 pm 
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Simply put, you are a "Male" and as such your instincts are overloaded with "sexual tension" it is only natural for you to want to act on those instincts.

A possible solution is to see how your GF would feel about a threesome, and bring another girl into the bedroom. But be warned, if she is ok with this, you may get the switch flipped on you when she says "I want to have a threesome with you and another guy".

Peace...

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:03 pm 
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If you have started thinking about it-than you are not happy.
So I guess yes it should


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:10 pm 
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If you are unhappy:

Happiness=change=risk=sacrifice!

It's the same in Love, Life, or Money!

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:24 pm 
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I get the sens that you feel there is a void in your life? like you didn't get to have that wild period of time in your life were you partied and slept with dozens of women?

I am going to give you a break down of the pro's and cons:

Well let me tell you being in a relationship with a good looking woman who is great in bed is much more rewarding for me then being single ever was! My sex life now is more frequent, and the sex is mind blowing! my gf knows what I like and I can honestly say she is by far the best I have ever had! We have a sexual chemistry that is amazing! so if your gf and you are anything like my gf and my self your single sex life will not be as good.One night stands are over rated IMO, its usually sloppy sex, with a drunk chick who has no idea what you like, the next morning is sucks! and you have to go to the clinic and get your junk checked out lol

F%ck budies are great! I had a few, you can call them late night when you want to have sex or are having a dry spell and the sex is usually good because you both get an idea of what one another likes, but I found that the girl always gets attached after a while and wants to be exclusive....by that point I don't have a whole lot of respect for her (usually slutty chicks) so I end things and tell her it was nice knowing her.

When you are single you can be selfish! wake up late, go to the gym when you want, eat when you want, hang out with your friend more often, You have nothing holding you back....flirting becomes a regular thing, and night clubs become more exciting! there is nothing like gaming girls and getting numbers! you think you have a large ego now? wait until you have a phone full of hb 9's and 10's! lol

Being single can be lonely at times, its nice to come home to a girlfriend or wake up to a women who cares about you, share experiences, share your dreams with her. I don't know about you but my gf is my best friend and so If we broke up it would be like loosing a best friend. My gf and I do some cool shit together! we have a lot of fun! do a lot of the same stuff I would do with a best friend except at the end of the day I get to have sex with her lol

I guess you have to think to your self "who do I want to spend my life with, what do I want in a partner" and if your gf is that women then I would say stay with her and work on your relationship! If you can't see your self with her then break up.

The grass is always greener on the other side and good women are hard to come by! ultimately most of us get into this "game" to find a women and settle down....yeah its nice to bang randoms but at the end of the day most of the guys in here just want to find a girl they can settle down with...if you have that girl then I would say keep her!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:12 pm 
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dude, if i was in your position, theres no question i would be banging tons of chicks.

you listed all these qualities of yourself but werent getting laid until age 20? and with only one girl since then? no wonder your getting these urges.

have you ever heard the term 'sowing your oats' ?

yea, you gotta do that.

every man does.

if he doesn't , he is in effect denying his (eventual) woman of a true man.

just tell your girl, flat out, ' i need to fuck other girls' . she will understand. she may even allow you to bang whoever you want on the side.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:17 pm 
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p.s. im in toronto too, can you hook me up in the club you run lol


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:54 pm 
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Quote:
dude, if i was in your position, theres no question i would be banging tons of chicks.

you listed all these qualities of yourself but werent getting laid until age 20? and with only one girl since then? no wonder your getting these urges.

have you ever heard the term 'sowing your oats' ?

yea, you gotta do that.

every man does.

if he doesn't , he is in effect denying his (eventual) woman of a true man.

just tell your girl, flat out, ' i need to fuck other girls' . she will understand. she may even allow you to bang whoever you want on the side.
haha I dont think his gf will be as cool with it as you let on. Telling your gf "Im going to sleep with randoms and might be back in like a year" is not a great way to keep a girl around haha

The bottom line is what do you want? what is important to you? Some guys love the single life! others love having a gf....just depends on what kind of person you are. 4 years is no joke! and you have to realize that if you end it there is a strong possibility that you and her will never get back together, and she will probably date other men....if this does not bother you then go for it, break things off and go have some fun!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:02 pm 
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Quote:
its nice to come home to a girlfriend or wake up to a women who cares about you
this :)

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:11 pm 
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Despite she's other mens dream and she is caring and etc etc. If you truly want to have experience with other women you have to pay the price. In this case - your girlfriend. No bullshit about dating other women why you're still with her - if you respect her and after 4 years respect should be natural, you do not want that.

I myself have been in almost 5 year LTR - it was really great, however despite that the sex was good, the girl was really hot, caring and so, there were things I didn't like and she didn't like. It hurt really bad, however I am happy with my decision as now I have other LTR which would be possible if I wouldn't have broke my previous. The current one is in quite initial stage, however rocking as much as possible.

If you always have thoughts about having some other women - deal with yourself in two ways, you either:

a) Forget those thoughts and make your current one happy
b) Dump her and start fucking every girl around
c) dump her and find some other girl


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 9:41 pm 
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I agree with dark one, here...If she really is as great as you say, then she's worth holding on to.

I also sometimes ponder on this topic, and whether the desire to sleep with a lot of women is related, in part, to a consumerist culture. We live in a world where everything is a marketplace - where we go to school, what job we work, where we live, what religion we belong to - these are all presented to us like a market, which means tons and tons of choice. I think we've gotten in the habit of thinking this way about our intimate relationships, too, and expect to have the choice of hundreds of women when it comes to finding a loving partner. We're always striving to weigh every pro and con of every single woman, trying to find the perfect one that we snap up and can have forever.

This is just one train of thought I like to entertain from time to time, but I feel like it explains a lot of the anxiety that we feel about whether or not we've really found "the one", or whether we are truly "in love". Maybe you're quite attached to this economist/rational-choice frame in which choice is only way to be sure of your pick. What about other ways of knowing, like feelings of love and commitment? That moment when you watch her without her knowledge, and you couldn't possibly want anything more?


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:39 pm 
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Thanks for the responses.... any more insight?

@JuanAntonio: Sure, you know where muzik is? www.muzikclubs.com, ask for Alex, and we will meet :)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:59 am 
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this is an ideal situation.

you need to turn her into your wingman to go out and sarge for other women to have threesomes with you.

i'm serious.

you have a loving and committed relationship. she is very attached. she would be willing to do this for you, especially if you play your cards right and follow all the rules about threesomes.

what could be hotter than your old lady 69'ing some hot freak while you go back and forth banging them both?

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:17 am 
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I agree that a threesome could be hot! no would be hot! lol but be careful!! it can ruin a relationship! make sure you gf is 100% on the same page as you.

Another thing. I have seen this many times! a gf will allow a threesome, then a year or so down the road she will cheat and say to you "whats the difference? we had a threesome sand you banged another girl, so I was just getting even" I know its crazy but women are crazy lol just be careful!

I would love to have a threesome with my gf, and I think if I was persistent enough, and if she had some wine in her it would not be a problem! but I would be afriad of the aftermath!


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