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Okay, I'm going to be a hypocrite here. In another thread I told Firebird that I don't go after chicks at work. Tonight I did.
New HB8.5 at work, works in a different department. I met her a week or two before she actually started her job (at a bar). Anyways, she and I basically work conflicting shifts. She works days, I work nights. Tonight, however, she picked up a night shift. I ran some C&F stuff on her. I get the impression that she's pretty comfortable around me. It could have something to do with the fact that I am "Socially Proofed" in her department, ie: I get along with almost everyone that works nights in her department. It could also be that I am preselected, almost every female in her department lines up to give me a hug or other kino when they see me. So I joked around with her a bit, she ended up telling me (in so many words) that she was offended that I didn't invite her out last night (Thurs night for drinks). I said to her that I couldn't invite her because I didn't have her phone number. Bingo, instant "#close." So, after she gives me her number, she tells me to call her "right away" so she can have my number in her phone. I said "I'm not sure that I can trust you with my number in your phone." She replied, "Well, I promise you that I won't call you, I just want your number in my phone so I know who it is." I started to say back to her, "Wait a second, what's with all this 'I promise not to call you' crap?" She basically said that she wants to hang out with my friends and that I probably wouldn't want to meet her friends. I told her that I wouldn't mind meeting her friends and that she should call me. About 10~15 minutes later I left her a voicemail: "Hey *HB*, it's *Medic*, two things, first, it's snowing and that's kind of unexpected, but secondly and more importantly, I'm not too sure that I should have given you my number because you seemed pretty reluctant to want to hang out, I'm not sure what we're going to do about this, but I'm sure that we'll speak soon, bye."
After this not-so-breif history of present events, here is my question(s). First, how do you think that I handled the situation? I think, so far, you've handled things fine. You just need to push the boundaries more at this point. Secondly, since it would be very odd to kino her in the workplace, I just did a couple of light touches to the tricep while speaking to her...any thoughts? Yeah, try putting the palm of your hand on her shoulder. Maybe giving her a 10 second massage or something like that. See how she responds to that. Third, one of the girls at work said that she has a bf. I was standing around while HB was speaking to a coworker of hers. Said coworker is currently upset with her husband, HB responded to coworker's comment with "Yeah, that's probably what mi(ne)..." she cut herself off in the middle of the sentance and I caught her looking at me from the corner of her eye. I think that she doesn't want me to know that she has a bf. Also, a coworker of mine, who knows HB (not very well), said that he thinks that HB & HB's bf are on the outs. I need suggestions on how to handle this seeminly delicate situation. If she doesn't want you to know she has a b/f, then don't worry about it. Apparently she's flirting with you regardless of having a b/f. You don't know the circumstances with her and the b/f, and at THIS point, it's not your problem. Fourth, I'm going to see her again tomorrow for a 4 hour overlap of shifts, how do I procede with conversation? Just talk to her as you would any other co-worker. As you talk though, start slipping in a sexual frame. See how she responds to it. If she responds well, push it further. If not, back off. Fifth, her name is THE SAME, letter-for-letter, of my ex-fiancee. It kind of freaks me out a little. When I say HB's name, or even hear it, I get a little knot in my stomach. Almost if I was speaking to my ex...even though this one is hotter! LOL, that's just something you'll have to get over, sorry. Can't help you with that one, lol. But, from this point on, whenever you talk to this girl, maintain your dominant frame, and keep pushing the sexual frame, especially if she responds well. I had a girl text me, then talk to me on the phone last night after I left the club. I met her a couple of months ago in the same club. She lives 6 hours away. She called me last night, telling me she's back in town. Thinking about me obviously. I maintained the sexual frame throughout our convo. Girls love that. They love a guy that's not afraid to talk about sex. This girl is still wanting to know which club I'm going to tonight. I didn't tell her . . . yet.
Any help would be...er...helpful. Thanks.
Hey medic. Sorry for the delay in my response. Hope it's not too late for your shift. My answers are in bold above.
P.S. As far as the negs . . . watch her response, including her body language when you do neg her. You may or may not be overdoing it. If you are overdoing it, you'll be pushing her away, and it will be obvious that she's putting distance between you. That girl that got a hold of me last night? I handled her like I do any other girl. Like I handle Zip and Paramour on the forum. I negged her again and again and again and again and again. If I thought I pushed it too far, I threw in a compliment as a reward . . . then continued to neg things that she said. You know what? She laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed. If she had her way, I would have been over there last night.
They Call Me Lucid, you are right in general about the negs. That's straight from the MM. It also depends, however, on how you use them and how hard the negs are. And, it depends to an extent on your personality too, but yes, in general, you've got the right idea there.
CHAT
(yes, while the car is literally going down the road at a normal rate of speed . . . )