Relationship breaking point, did I do right?



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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 1:35 am 
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Hello. Sorry for long post but it makes the situation clear and I would really aprecciate it if you took your time and give me an answer.
Background:
We're both 18 and I've had an ''open relatinship'' with this girl for about 11 months. We mostly met at public places, but occasionally got chance to be just the 2 of us and i got up to fingering her. We would bump into eachother few times a month at parties, and make out but that's bassicaly it. However we got connected over the time, but i felt like our relationship should progress more sexually. She's still a virgin.
Situation:
So today at party i tell her let's go out for few mins and she rejects me, but constantly bumps her ass on me, puts my hands around her waist and kisses me. So when i drove her home i told her, our relationship looks like a grannie one and that we should go out just the 2 of us sometime (hiking, wathcing a movie at my place etc.) or we should stop hooking up, and just stay buddies for coffee. I told her i hate being at this middle stage and want to either progress or stop hooking up. I also told her I like her personality, hence the so long lasting relationship but 'm not the kind of guy who keeps wondering and hoping for something to happen. She said she likes me and loves me a lot. And that she sees me as a boyfriend material (i'm intelligent, got money, she likes my social circle), but said it would feel akward to her if we went somewhere alone. So I'm like ok then, we should stop hooking up. And she got tears in her eyes (tried to hide them) and said she sees us progressing but doesnt want instant change and we should see how it works out. Keep in mind, when she got drunk she was ALL OVER ME sexually every single time. She kept sayinh she likes it as it is. Her mom then picked her up after a while and we didnt really end a discussion.

Thoughts:
To me it looked like she really cares about me and likes me, but i think I've fucked up by meeting with her in public places to much and not being enough sexual in those situations so i got stuck up somewhere between ljbf and sexual partner.

She introduced me into her social circle and always hug to me or cuddle with me or kiss when we met but we never got really sexual(unless she was drunk).

Did I do right by confronting her with my situation? Is there anything I can do to keep this girls interested in me (if she ever was) ir should i just let her go.?

Best regards,

Synergy


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:53 am 
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sorry to say but i don't think she is interested in you already. the feeling has faded

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:22 pm 
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sorry to say but i don't think she is interested in you already. the feeling has faded
@ melomelody, did you even read his post? I am glad that you are here, and I hope you are getting something out of the forums, but please if you don't have anything useful (i.e. Opinion or life experience) then don't reply. "Sometimes it is better to be silent and presumed an idiot, rather than open your mouth and prove it".

OP, based on your post above, you stated that "she" is putting your hands on her waist, kissing you, cuddling you, etc!!! Here is a hint "She effing adores you"!!! But she want's you to be a freaking man and take some inititave. I think you just need to take charge and make plans where y'all will be alone (in public) and escalate from there. Start touching her "a little more" suggestively, you need to get her juices flowing and get her horny. Tease her "emotionally" make sexual innuindo in your discussions. Turn things she says a little sexual. Start showing her that you can take charge and lead her to the Sex!

Don't apologize for escalating if you get LMR from her. You are a Man and a sexual being.

Peace...

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:45 pm 
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i think you need to make her more comfortable with you, and to achieve that, you need to feel comfortable. spread your comfort zone by doing different things with her. but different things for you 2, not just for you. take her somewhere you like to go and to do things you like to do, but consider what she might like. try zoo, for example. it seems friendly, interesting, fun and relaxing. and just relax and have fun!
dont think about what should you do, shoul you kiss her or hug or something. if it happens spontaniously, great, if it doesnt, wait for her to come closer to you (and by your post, it seems that it will happen) and then hug and kiss her passionately, make her feel you like her, dont tell it.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:59 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 9:13 pm
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Quote:
OP, based on your post above, you stated that "she" is putting your hands on her waist, kissing you, cuddling you, etc!!! Here is a hint "She effing adores you"!!! But she want's you to be a freaking man and take some inititave. I think you just need to take charge and make plans where y'all will be alone (in public) and escalate from there. Start touching her "a little more" suggestively, you need to get her juices flowing and get her horny. Tease her "emotionally" make sexual innuindo in your discussions. Turn things she says a little sexual. Start showing her that you can take charge and lead her to the Sex!

Don't apologize for escalating if you get LMR from her. You are a Man and a sexual being.
EXACTLY what I was going to say. You've been "together" 11 months, and it looks like she's almost having to force you to be physical. She had to put your hands on her hips? They should have already been there! Really though, if she doesn't want to get more physical in private, then get physical in public.

As for your current situation, with her crying and all, let her know that she had really turned you on that night, and you had just gotten frustrated. Meet with her to tell her this. Then have make up sex. Done. Haha!

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Let's grab some BBQ and go get busy!"


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:17 pm 
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Crypto and FreshPrince, great stuff guys!! I just want to add one thing

Since she is a virgin, make sure you know what your getting into. If you plan on actually being with this girl (even as an MLTR) then just go for it, be confident and make your move, just be honest with her. If however you plan on leaving her after you get what your looking for... then you might want to reconsider what your doing and think about the type of impact you'll be making on her at this young age.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:11 pm 
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Location: 752 Jefferson Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11221
Appreciating all the replies.

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