Ok I'll get to the point, how can a guy get better at sex? (specifically in a relationship)

I've never had any complaints but having seen benefits in other areas of my game I've worked on I feel there could be room for improvement here too.

My issues are, in the last relationship I was in, the sex could be either fantastic or rather lack-lustre, and after a few months we started having sex less which could be expected maybe just a few times a week, but we were students and spent most nights together so you'd think we'd be at it like bunnies.

I found it harder to get her to orgasm, although this girl had a thing about going down on her or using my hands so foreplay for her wasn't really on the cards, I want to know how to gain consistently good sex in a relationship. Also it's not exactly a problem but how can I gain more control over my own stamina in the bedroom?

Thanks

a good trick i use to get her to orgasm nearly every time is.

*put a cushion under her backside
*lift her legs above your shoulders so they are either side of your neck
*play with her clit while you're banging her as hard as you can

works every time with my gf. this is all of course after licking her pussy and banging her for a bit beforehand. just be warned it makes it feel like you're shagging a mouse's ear so you wont last too long

Some good books on the subject:

Sex God Method
She Comes First

The trick is to not get intimidated by the amount of information you'll get, just remember one or two things and try that the next time you have sex.

Another book I found helpful:

My Secret Garden

It's about female fantasies. Be ready to get your whole thinking frame changed. Doing certain things (like calling a girl a whore) may seem wrong to you, but you must know that women can like this kind of talking. Dirty talk, in essence, comes from a very good understanding of a woman's sexuality.

I'm no sexual expert either (I just started my first sexual relationship a few months ago), but my biggest advice would be to keep a mentality of a driven student. Try to understand her a little better each time you have sex.

I think the most important thing is still letting everything go (like an animal), don't overthink things. Typically I think of something beforehand, then a couple of times during sex I consciously think of it (for a few seconds) and actually DO it.

Hope it helps.

Go read the Sex God Method. It really is a bible and breaks through many socially conditioning myths about female sexuality.

Foreplay (starts way before the bedroom), dominance (she get's turned on by being submissive to a powerful man), dirty talk ("I own your pussy", "You're about to cum like a little slut and there is nothing you can do about it"), spanking, fantasies, spontaneity (when was the last time you fucked her on the kitchen table or in a restaurant toilet?), and variety (tantra, bdsm). Be the first to introduce her to something whether that be masturbating in front of you, anal, threesome, or sex in a public place. She will forever associate that new adventure with you. Talk to her about her best sexual experiences from her past and fantasies she has.

Never be forcing her into sex, she needs to want it as much as you. She should be initiating as much and ideally more than you. Every time you have sex make sure she has at least one orgasm. She will associate her orgasm with having sex with you. Everytime you meet have sex. She will associate orgasm with you. It's tricky to backtrack if you haven't established this from the beginning but if you do she will get horny just by being in your presence.

It's my believe that amount of sex follows on from quality of sex. If she doesn't get much out of it then why would she want it often? If it is great she wants it all the time? The worst situation is that she starts using sex as a weapon. In my opinion your frame going into the relationship is everything. Please read my post about this at gf-witholding-sex-vp655734.html#655734

Work on your own body. Are you ripped or do you have a flabby beer belly? Getting into shape will make you more attractive to her, give you more energy and testosterone (which she will pick up on), and more physical stamina and strength during sex (lifting her up and fucking her against the wall). In the same way that I like my lady doing yoga she will dig your gym or sport time. Eat well, cut back on alcohol and give up smoking. That'll ramp up your sex drive and lead to strong erections which last longer.
Physical stamina is covered above. As for lasting longer for me it's about recognising when you are close to orgasm. Know which positions turn you on the most. Use this to your advantage. Slow down and speed up as necessary. Staying still if you need to. Or pull out and go down on her for a while. A 1 hour session can be a mixture of blowjobs, going down on her, penetration, masturbation, 69s, anal. It's a journey with each partner taking the reigns as and when.

Cut right back or completely stop masturbation. When you masturbate you usually aren't aiming for time. You want to get it done fairly quickly. So you get programmed to that mindset. It also can become an addiction where you crave the dopamine hit of orgasm. This is not your true libido. I aim for once a week. Not ejaculating for 5 days makes you look at your lady in a whole new way. You will ravish her.
Sounds like she isn't very sexually experienced and isn't completely comfortable with all elements of sex and her body. If a girl doesn't like you going down on her (come across it once) then sirens should go off. You will have to put in the hours to open her up. As a side note you should love going down on her. If you are not enjoying it she will be able to tell; think of a lacklustre blowjob for comparison. Doesn't it feel amazing when a girl moans with your dick in her mouth and is really into it? The same applies the other way round.

Screen carefully before starting a relationship. This girl will become your sole source of sex (assuming monogamy here). Pick a high sex drive girl (it will always go down over time) who is comfortable with her own body e.g. loves walking around naked, has no hangups, is experienced with sex (knows what she likes, understands her body and turn ons), and sexually compatible with you e.g. no good if she loves anal but you are not a fan.

Sometimes you will come across a girl who can't orgasm via penetration. It's not necessary you, it could be that she hasn't with any of her partners. It takes some getting used to for a girl to be penetrated, submissive and yet feel a mutual part of the experience. It's easier to find a girl who has gone through that 'learning curve' already.

Finally share non-goal directed touch outside the bedroom. Share a bath, cuddling whilst watching a film, take a walk holding hands, kissing in the street etc. It's very obvious when your touch is only sexual and will make your girl feel less comfortable i.e. now he touches me because he wants sex. Touch releases oxytocin which bonds lovers together. If she feels closer to you she will want sex more often.

It's not inexperience, she was great in bed, at first anyway, I think she had a bad experience once in the past, she denied it but lying was her thing, she dropped in a hint about it once and I could just tell when I asked her about it. Just for future reference how do I go about this if the situation come up again? More generally how do I get a girl into the idea of sex in a public place or something that she might be nervous or withheld about?

The Sex God method has some great info on this. You need to build up to it over a series of sessions.

So take anal for example. You wouldn't just go straight into it. You would start off by touching her asshole, maybe licking, and include it in your dirty talk "I wonder whether Lucy likes her bum being played with". Next time you could put a finger in before doggy. The a few weeks later go for fingering her pussy and finger in ass whilst licking her clit. If she likes it she may well masturbate with her finger in ass. Then if you have picked her interest you may find she brings it up. Anal will not be far off.

Sex in a public place could start with having sex in the garden on a sunny day. Take some of her clothes off e.g. she's wearing a dress get her tits out, pull panties off but leave her dress on, and be kissing her body then whisper in her ear "I think someone might be over there", "No they are walking the other way across the park". She will twig what is going on and play into the fantasy. You can then build it up "A couple over there are watching us, fuck we are going to get caught". Hopefully she is receptive and you have taken the first step. The next time you are in a park you might finger her under her dress. Having sex with the possibility of being caught is a specific turn on. Not everyone will get off on it but there is only one way to find out.

So you see you aren't so much saying "I want to fuck my girlfriend in a club toilet" as taking her on a sexual adventure and finding out her innermost sexuality. Often a girl won't know the depths of her turn ons and fantasies. Explore together with an open mind and without judgement. She needs to trust you and know that you are not going to go telling all your / her mates that she did anal last night. She needs to know she can let her sexual side run wild with you but that it is just between you two. Know that girls tell their best friends everything but don't want you to do the same. It's a double standard but one that you need to stick to; most girls want to maintain their lady status.

Stemming from this you can play into her taboo or lady / slut dual personalities. For example I had a girl who's mum was visiting from her home country. I demanded her to turn up at mine in lingerie. She made an excuse to leave the family meal and like an obedient little girl arrived at my front door wearing a long coat, knee high boots, and lingerie. I played on this good little daughter princess / slut dichotomy. Wow that turned her on. I remember her saying "My mum doesn't know what an insatiable little slut her daughter is". She rode me like I've never seen before. The thought of being 'naughty' really triggered something in her. She woke up all my SPAM that night.

You know when you've tapped into a girls sexuality like no other guy has before when she starts suggesting things and wants to pleasure you at all times i.e. blow job whilst your're driving. Always know that sex is a gift you give to a girl for it is a more powerful experience to them than us (When was the last time you came 5 times in a row and woke the house up with your screams of pleasure?).

'Sex God Method' Where can I buy get this?

Wow! Google is your friend.

I checked Amazon and Ebay, nothing came up...googled it and you gotta shell out and buy a whole bundle of crap too...

$37 - It's a wise investment. If you are not someone who likes to support authors than I am sure you can get it cheaper elsewhere...

I don't agree with everything you said. For a long time I viewed masturbation as something that should be hidden, and something to get over with quick. It wasn't relaxing, I just used it for a quick release.

Then I read a book on tao sex. Tao teaches you that masturbation is something you should NEVER be ashamed off. It is self love. Masturbation can also be a great tool for improving stamina. I masturbate once in 3 days, and I make sure I have at least half an hour of private time.

The exercise goes like this. Bring yourself very close to orgasm, but not totally there, then recover, then again. If you can last half an hour doing this exercise, you can last half an hour with your girl, maybe longer. The tao book says: "once you get past a certain point [doing this exercise], you can go on for as long as you like". You'll have total control over your orgasm.

Don't do this watching porn by the way, but purely with imagination. I imagine what I'm going to do with my girlfriend, it works very stimulating. It also gives me ideas for when I'm with her.

Other exercises involve touching parts of your body you wouldn't normally touch, like your nipples, that can be very sensitive when you're aroused. It's all about finding out more about your own body.

So, concluded, I would maybe cut back masturbation (once every 2-3 days), but not frown on it. It helped me a GREAT deal. And I attest of not masturbating for a few days before you have sex with my girlfriend, it makes me more desirous and she picks up on it.

Let's talk about you first.

Masturbation is your friend, it is your key to endless of practice without her. And you can actually train yourself to hold it back a lot. Of course there are lot's of crazy eastern meditation methods to become a sex god but most guys don't have the patience for this. But basically jerking off and when you get close to your climax you work on holding it back and being able to keep going. In this case I would recommend watching porn since the extra stimulation makes it harder to hold it back, just as you get excited when you have your girlfriends naked body near you, it basically makes it more real. Practicing this method can add a lot to your stamina. Also pinching the root of your dick will hold you back a bit.

Also, I am sure you are aware of the fact that if you jerk off the same day as you have sex with her, you are likely to last a lot longer, so basically if she is on her way over, go jerk it! There are also condoms with numbing effects for sale, but most guys in long term relationships don't use condoms so I guess that is useless information. But I did try one once, and I lasted for like an hour, crazy shit.

About her.

It is true what league mentioned about the pillow under her, it makes it easier to hit her G-spot. The thing is though, all girls are very different in what they like, women can have several different types of orgasms, such as from the G-spot, the clit, vaginal (non G-spot), even urethral orgasms. Point is, a girl can have a ton of orgasms, your girl might not be able to have all of them, she may just be able to have one or two. So it is up you to find out what really works for her, and try to find something new.
If you are out of ideas, I do recommend you either googling some sex tips or watch some educational porn. I can also recommend a book called female ejaculation by Lisa Longhofer, you should be able to find it as a cheap or even free e-book.
You did mention that she has some weird "things" and restrictions to what you are allowed to do. This I can tell you is your main problem to focus on. In my previous long term relationship we did have a lot of sex, but it was sort of the same all the time, simply because she was not willing to experiment, she was "happy" with the dull sex that we had and didn't feel that she needed more.
In my present relationship me and my girl are both very experimental, and our sex life reflects on that. It is always exciting and never dull, we always experiment new ways of finding pleasure and exploring each others bodies. By now we have no boundaries or fears for each other and that is basically where good sex comes from. Trust and comfort.

So I apologize for not having a magic cure for your problem but I can tell you what you need to do. You have to talk to her openly about your sex life, you have to work on building the trust and the comfort, and find out what it would take to get her to the level where you can experiment freely!

Best of luck my friend

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Slywalker

10 things I wish someone taught me about Pick Up 10-things-i-wish-someone-taught-me-vt53087.html

Taking a more active role is a great way to jump start your sex life. Be bold and start things yourself instead of waiting at something to happen.

Reading books is good, however consider that someone has written them and so he thought of all that stuff in his head and experimented. Why are you worse?

I have read various books, however really do not remember techniques I would use or so, I surrender to my passion and the beauty of a girl I sleep with and all goes natural.

The thing to have entertaining sexual relationship - difference and no boredom. As quick as boredom knocks on your door, you know it's too late. Keep things interesting, have sex everywhere you want or wanted to have, experiment. This time like this, another time like that. Be a little bit spontaneous, there's no need to go extreme. I myself started to loose sexual interest once I was pretty sure how it would went. The best method which works for me - not to think about it at all. It all goes natural if your girl is really into you and you yourself are not a boring person.