(mASF is down, so I'm giving this forum a try)

I used to be good at the game - up to a point were it sufficed to 'just be myself' and neglect routines.

Now after a break of about three years due to two LTRs with super hot girls, everything seems cursed.

Though I go out a lot and open many girls, it seems I am unable to raise attraction for the most part.

Even if I have good convos the girls refuse to pick up the phone. No Day2's. A always get a correct number though - as long as I ask for it.


Here are some recent experiences:

• Flamboyant AI from girl. Has to decide to go home with her friends or stay. Asks if I will take care of taking her home that night. I consider and agree. Seems like a closed deal, but a 'friend' interferes and manages to catch her attention for the rest of the evening by basically just talking, talking, talking. He wins her over and takes care of taking her home.
  
  I open a girl. She tells me that I'd totally be her type, but that she'd be way to drunk SPAM. I get her number immediately and contact her another day. Some texting, but when I call her some days later, she apparantly has not stored my number, tells me that she's unable to talk SPAM and will call later (which never happens).
  
  I text to a girl who gave me her number years ago. After some days I call. We're on the phone for abt. 40 minutes and it seems to be going good. A week later I call again (incidently from a different number). She picks up, tells me she's currently unable to talk and that she'll call later. I ask what she's about and she has no answer.
  
  I open a three set and I end up talking to one of the girls for quite the whole evening (2-3 hours?). There seems to be good connection. We're texting for fun, though we're in the same room. At the end I notice she tries to avoid me. I get a text message stating that she's got to look after her friend who's feeling sick. Which is true, as that friend been on the toilet for about one hour and looked badly. As the girl is getting a glass of water for her at the bar, I go over and say goodbye. When trying to call the next day, nobody picks up.
  
  I have Sex with a hot 18yo. Guess I got lucky, as it was basically 'oh you got a taxi in that direction? - i need to go there too' followed by a 'wanna get out here with me to have a drink in my hotel?'. The sex is not-so-great, so no wonder (?) she goes 'Nah I am usually never in your region' when we're having a short phone chat some days after. She had said though, that it'd be nice to see each other again when she left in the morning (though there was no need to say that due to the situ or anything).
  
  On the dancefloor I am opened by a hot girl. We dance while I keep push-pulling in a cocky manner. After some time she leaves and sticks to some strange dude the rest of the evening. Later, just for the (bad) statistics, I invite her to move to the bar. She refuses with a - at least - straight 'No' and walks.
  
  The same night two girls seem to be deliberately getting closer time and again. I hang my arms around theirs shoulders and invite them to the bar. They decline as they 'had enough drinks already'.
  
  End of that night: I am exhausted. Sitting/half-lying in the corner on some couch, feeling kind of depressed; A cute girl sits down right next to me, though there's enough space further away. I am not quite in the mood for another rejection, but still I open her after a couple of minutes. Not long after (5 mins?), while I tell a story that used to be in my DHV box, she tells me that she'd 'got to go dance to that song' and leaves.
  
  Different night - cute waitress - I think about opening her, but there was just too much pain up until that day. I feel confused, angry and sad. On the way home another cutie opens me. I miss out as I just answer her fluff question and walk - only to realize a second too late that it could have been a good chance this time ... or not.

That was last night out.


All in all, it seems as if all the girls are coming up to me just to reject me. I don't wanna here yet another "I'll be back in a minute." or it's little sister "I'll call you back.".

Up until today, I tried to find a solution by myself. It's been some months of trial-and-error, but it seems I just need some hints. Hope that anyone can relate and has some hints on finding a possible solution.

Note that I am told regularly how good looking I am by girls and guys alike. I am estimated the same age as back in the days when I practiced regularly and girls that know me for longer usually like me. My 'target category' is still the same type- and age-wise.

What else could I be doing wrong? Which piece of the puzzle am I missing?


¿Life's Good?
DICE

i came to help you , i am no pro but i still relate to your prob as i dont get success most of the time
i think there is something wrong about your bl, maybe your needy maybe you dont seems the kind of man with many options?
dont talk to much with a girl without physical escalation you know that
the girl uhad sex with , maybe a whore maybe felt horny that night, maybe to relief her pain , so its aint your fault , if u fucked her good so its her prob and she was boring

calling a girl after years of seperation , i did that and she was happy to talk to me and wanted to see me , saying plz come i wanna see you but aftet that no phone response nothing

all I can say is there is no obvious reason in what you are telling us so go back to the basics, build momentum, add value, make her feel good, kino escalate.
and most importantly keep in a good mind set.

I like hoobies saying that every rejection is a brick in my palace.
you will find your form, and it may take a few trys to get back on the unstoppable horse but you will get there.

if you are not feeling it girls will repel you. so remember to not take rejection personally the girls you met dont even know you so how could they reject you. they reject your approach.

and most importantly state is generated from within for us, and by us in the girls.

just hit the basics, you will find the missing puzzle piece soon enough

*Thanks a lot* killswitchengage & sika for your hints and encouraging words!

I'm a little late with this response, but things have been getting better so far as I notice my old knowledge come back via experience.
There's some techniques that worked, but I'm refusing to use them, as I find many of those stupid now - trying alternatives.

It's very likely that I exuded too much neediness and I definitely failed to take things lightly.

h2. So in the fashion of my first post, here are some updates on how things changed so far

* Girl enters my cabin in the train, asks if there was space left. I reopen, we chat and I give her my number "in case she happens to be in my region". I abstain from getting hers. Some hours later I receive a text: "Let me know too, when you're in my area."

* Two girls stand behind me in a club. As I turn round they seem to be waiting for me to step aside in order to let them pass. Instead, I open. Later we bounce. Some 3-4 text messages the next day. She asks how I am, I respond that I just went to bed & wish good night. She responds with "Ah I am at [BAR]". I go dead air. Three days later she writes again and three more days later, we have a D2 & 3, with the night together - making out on my couch. Funny: Her texts are as short as can be and she never writes stuff like "kiss", but so far she always responds. Guess that's due to bad experience with her ex. Things are still interesting.

* I open two girls at a party. Blonde seems to be attracted. Both are sexy. I am am unable to decide, but for some reason I am feeling _slightly_ more interested in black-haired one. So I kino-escalate with her more than with the other. We walk to the car - hand in hand with both. Though I had let her call my phone in order to exchange numbers, I abstain from calling her. Three days later I get a text message. As she seemed interested, I directly asked her out some days ago, but it was on very short notice, so she refused - The cute thing about it was, how she made sure I understood that is _really_ was only due to the short notice and that any other time would be good. Met her two days ago. Still in touch.

* And here's a funny & interesting side experience at a clubbing:
4 girls, all hot. I open the first with "Hello hello!". She gives me a disgusting look, which would usually be repelling to me - she suddenly looked so ugly. I turn to next and repeat. Same thing. I turn to third - same reaction. "Okay one last chance - Hello hello" to the forth. She reacts a _little_ nicer.
I ( my approach ) was getting rejected four times in a row, but I actually felt very powerful. Making them react in a predictable manner was like playing a computer game - "If I press this button, that will happen". Anyways I stay persistent, since I learnd to do so until I get blown out big time. I tell them that I refuse to believe they were like that and that they were only "acting like bitches". And suddenly the girls become nice and friendly. Instantly one has one of the cutest sparkles in her eyes, I've ever seen. They explain that they're all taken and point out their 5th friend as the one without a boyfriend.

* At the same clubbing some time before I was really annoyed and angry as some girl had accidently burnt me with her cig. Heads on I still open a girl and talk the dumbest rubbish I probably ever heard myself saying in an opener. Not only do I feel like running out of things to say every half-a-second, also I notice the anger in my communication. And what happens? The girl re-initiates two times when I stop talking. I loosen up and we get a great & fun convo running. As her friend wants to leave, my friend who'd entered meanwhile tells her that it would be a pity as things were very likeable. She agrees and notes that we really were some of the nicest persons she's met that evening and gives us her number. I run into her later and we have some brief chats. Just got an answer to text I sent today.


I've also had an experience were I'd taken a girl home who was the best looking of that evening, but even though my friends found her hot, I failed in bed as I lacked attraction. So since then I only focus on the really *hot* ones.

I do guess I have to handle them differently in a manner and get my game tight, but I also believe that I am doing, something differently (i.e. wrong) as compared to the ones were it works - simply due to being more nervous, less direct, ...

And most of the time I am actually disinterested in talking, which is probably the reason my opening sucks. I'd prefer to go straight for the kiss, take-home or the like ... and find out over the course of time how we relate.


Life's Good
DICE