How To ELIMINATE Your Fear Of Approach



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 1:10 am 
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Hey it's Fantom,

I want to give you here a technique that I've developed for eliminating
my fear of the approach.

It's called, "The Worst Case Scenario"

More often than not, we guys just SUCK at being rational about
"what can happen if..."

What will happen IF I approach her is that, she and her 38 friends will ALL line
up and LAUGH at me in the face - while pointing their index finger at me and saying: "What a LOSER"

Well... Maybe our mind is tricking us here a little bit. It's not what REALLY can
happen.

But our mind is not logical (even dough we want to think it is)

So here's the technique you can use immediately, to lose that fear
about the approach.

So how does it work?

Worst Case Scenario is a technique that I perfected over the last couple of
years, especially when working with guys all over the world. It has
successfully worked for EVERY one of them, and it will work for you also.

Here's what you do.

Step #1 WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN

Think about approaching the most georgous woman you can find
on the street. And now, think about what is the WORST thing
that can happen, as a result of talking to her.

...?

Got that?

Now, take a sheet of paper and write that irrational fear you have down.

Don't worry, nobody is going to see it, we will burn it later (not actually, but anyway, c'mon)

If you have written it down already, you can feel the fear is already slightly
lower than it was. That is because, you have specified it - and everytime
you specify something, the fear of that is lower - because it's not the "unknown"
anymore.

We people fear dark cages - because we DON'T KNOW what's in them. And
it's the same here. When you don't know what's going to happen, you fear it.

Just by writting it down, you turn on the lights and you can see it objectively.

Step #2 PRACTICE A POSSIBLE RESPONSE

Supposedly that really did happen - how could you respond that would protect
your ego, and let you get away with it safely?

What would you need (no weapons please) to feel safe in that situation?

Here's a hint* Make FUN of it.

Everything you fear, if you can make FUN of it, it's going to lose the serious meaning about it, and it will make you laugh. And whatever you laugh at,
you can't possibly take too serious right?

Step #3 PRACTICE YOUR NEW RESPONSE


I want you to actually stand up, and imagine that situation JUST happened.

I want you to physically, WITH YOUR BODY, practice the exact response. Really image how it feels to be in that situation. And then, practice with your own response.

DO IT.

Step #4 VISUALIZE

Now I want you to sit back in your chair, and visualize your new response. Visualize
yourself walking from the situation with a new attitude. If she rejected you really
badly for example, you can laugh at what just happaned, and look forward
to telling your grandkids this story. And actually see yourself feeling good
about it.

So this is what I want you to do. Use this technique BECAUSE IT WORKS!

To get more of the stuff like this, visit this www.volcanoconfidence.com and arm
yourself with the meanest techniques out there, for eliminating your fear, anxiety
and uncomfort around women.

Talk to you soon,

Fantom

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 8:10 pm 
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Very true that we are often afraid of getting immediately blown out, but I think it goes deeper than that.

It is more like, I have no problem saying "Hi" but then I have nothing to say. OK, even if we talk a few minutes she won't like me. OK, maybe she might like me, but she won't go to bed with me. OK, she'll go to bed with me, but I won't perform. So, better not to even start.

So you need to get your inner game strong on all counts, not just AA. :-)


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:40 am 
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I don't think AA is something that can be overcome. The best analogy I've found is jumping into a swimming pool. It's going to be cold the first time you do it, but the next time it's going to be ok. The only problem is the next day the water is going to be cold again.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:11 pm 
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Quote:
I don't think AA is something that can be overcome. The best analogy I've found is jumping into a swimming pool. It's going to be cold the first time you do it, but the next time it's going to be ok. The only problem is the next day the water is going to be cold again.
Ummm, thats the same concept to getting over being scared to talk to girls...


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 3:51 am 
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It is easy to overcome Approach Anxiety easily IF ONLY you go out and start APPROACHING. Start with casual openers like asking the time(from males too),then on you can go ahead. I recently just did 5 to 10 cold approaches,and have started feeling turbo stamina in me.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:47 am 
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As the OP says, approach anxiety is not usually rational. But it happens anyway. So it's like a fight between our rational and irrational mind. I don't think the irrational part will every go away. But I like OP's strategy. It is one of the best ways to at least boost up the rational part.

Having a planned response to every scenario will definitely make you a little less scared to go in there. Nice ideas.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 9:32 am 
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Quote:
I don't think AA is something that can be overcome. The best analogy I've found is jumping into a swimming pool. It's going to be cold the first time you do it, but the next time it's going to be ok. The only problem is the next day the water is going to be cold again.
OK - when i was 15 i went to an indoor swimming centre.

at this centre there was a 5 (?) metre diving board. i watched as other kids younger than jumped off that diving board into the water, head first and all kinds of ways.

when i got to the edge of that diving board i was terrified. it was too high. i sat on the edge and tried to talk myself into it but it was no good. i had to climb down the ladder much to the amusement of the other kids.

i continued watching as the other kids continually dived off the board and into the water and i was jealous. i so dearly wanted to be able to do it. finally i said 'fuck it', i climbed that ladder, sat on the edge of that board and dropped off. it was amazing. i couldnt wait to climb that ladder and do it again and again and again.

i think it is the same with approach anxiety. its just that initial approach. i think might be easier to take the 'sex' out of the equation and just enjoy meeting and talking to women. i started just by asking for directions or the time until i get comfortable or confident taking it further.

having said that i just did OP's exercise and found it very useful.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:37 am 
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I like these ideas, I'm going to apply them to myself and get better in terms of approaching.

I also agree with Rufas in taking away the "sex" portion would make it easier to approach and start a conversation.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:19 pm 
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AA Will always be there as "the fear of the uknown" but that doesn't mean that AA will stop you from taking action.take action to learn from your mistakes and AA will be less vivid than last time because you know what you would do in case in a shit-test from istance

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