il maker this short
im a trainer met a cute girl at gym
saw on her fb she has a bf but she has never mentioned him the few times we talked
i worked out with her ones and showed alot of IOIs, we texted a little here and there
very light flirting and she responds
i have tried to ask her to hangout a few times outside of the gym but she seems ver?y hesitant, i can tell the fact she has a bf is holding her back

how can i get her to hangout with me outside of the gym in a non threatening way?

Tie your "rendezvous" into exercise, a run at a cool spot, roller blade, wall climb

Even her BF can't say no to "free" personal training

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

update
we texted here and there, worked out a couple times she still hasnt mentioned anthying about her bf and continues to show alot of iois (playing punching me, twirling her headphones etc) alot of kino

i still cant get her to another venue, its like she has gaurd up and when ever i suggest anything outside of the gym she doesnt turn it down but doesnt commit

she posted on her fb statues her bf will be in town in 2 days, since shes just visitng for the summer from school

what should my next move be?

most likely, she is a waste of time move on, she is attracted to you but doing what girls do when they don't want to cheat (flake)

she simply won't put herself in that position to give you good logistics because she is not wanting to cheat, but can't control how she acts around you because she is attracted

so, really if you are needy for this and it is important for you to see a girl with a boyfriend through, show your intentions, start giving her the why to the compliance you expect, and be honest, that is all

figure out what you want, lead in that direction, explain, make it known why, express yourself, be absolutely honest

so either in person or on the phone (don't use text), tell her you want to meet up with her because you find her attractive, then ask her if she likes blah blah, or blah blah (offer her a double bind), when she picks from the double bind, say cool, I love that, lets do that this week, what day works best for you

what ever excuses she comes up with, just remove them, and make it known why, be honest, completely honest, no censorship, no filter, and take responsibility for her actions, make it your fault

you either end up with compliance, or non compliance, obviously you can try to give her more plausible deniability if you want and ''trick her'' into meeting you, but this will result in the same ending and at some point you will have to flip the frame to escalate, she is either compliant or non compliant, and just going for this now will save you more time in the long run, instead of wasting it on the girl just cause she is attracted to you

if she is willing to cheat, just be discreet, and don't make a big deal out of it, or get attached to her

if not, just be ok with that, you don't need anything from this girl, let her know she can hit you up when she is single if it doesn't work out (but I wouldn't linger on it)

GOOD LUCK

this may be my last resort, what else can i try before i do this?

i told her "you seem like a cook chick id like to get to know you better"
she agreed to meet up its like you said when shes around me she cant help it but feel attracted and shows iois agrees to meet etc but when shes away its easier for her to flake as she is not having those feelings

i need someway for her to chase me, because i will admit i have been a little needy with my text and it pushed her away a little
how can i get her to chase me a little?

hey man,

she is probably still having those feelings when she is away, when she is attracted, she is attracted, being behind a phone doesn't change this, the difference is, in person there is more tension on her to say yes to things as you are right in front of her, behind the phone she can just not respond/hang up and keep the tension off of her, and nothing results, much less tension

as long as she has a boyfriend who she is more invested in, she won't chase you, you gotta just stop being needy and realize there are other girls out there and going for girls that are already seeing someone is often a waste of time, this is something you should be screening girls for early that you find attractive, if they are not available sexually then they are not available, doesn't matter what sort of game you run

think of it like this, you your self have a hot girlfriend, lets say she is an 8 to you, now you date this girl for 1 year or something, everything is going amazing, you love your girlfriend, she is awesome, coolest girl you have met and also goodlooking and good in bed, what a score, now you start working out for the summer, you get a smoking hot personal trainer, OMG the trainer is easily an 8 also, so the trainer starts trying to flirt with you and asks you if you would like to come out with her on a date, you are definately attracted to the trainer, but you have a girlfriend, what to do? now some guys will be up for this and go cheat on their girlfriends, other guys will not be ok with this and not go out with the hot trainer, this girl is screening for you like one of those girls that will not be ok with this

girls know why you are inviting them out to hang out alone, they are not stupid, at least if you make it known that she might get laid via expressing your intentions (telling her you are attracted for her and that is the reason you want to see her) and you let her know you will keep it between the two of you if the boyfriend comes up, she will be aware of what is going on and can make a definate descision, because if you show your intentions, she knows she won't just come out with you, not even get kissed and end up wasting her time when she has a perfectly good boyfriend at home to sleep with, you holding this non-sexual frame and getting needy for this girl is not helping your situation at all

you need to meet more women, you will not improve if you can't notice patterns in behavior, and you will not establish patterns if the sample size of women includes only one person, go out and meet more girls, don't just remove this girl from your life, but stop trying to get her completely until it doesn't matter to you, judging by your follow up, I would say this is a better option then pursueing this girl for you, as it seems you have already pushed her away and you are starting to get too attached to a girl who isn't even reciprocating anything, the frame established between you two is still non-sexual, and the longer this lingers, the more you will dig yourself into a hole (that hole is sometimes reffered to as the ''friend zone'')

even though you probably won't head this, or meet other women, instead you will keep trying for this girl as that is more in your comfort zone and end up wasting a shit load of your precious time you could be spending meeting other girls, that is fine, you will learn from this and it will suck, you need to experience that shitty feeling so that the next time this happens, you recognize the pattern, or waste your time again and feel shitty again, up until you recognize the pattern and correct your behavior

GOOD LUCK