Hey guys,

I've been doing a lot of research and reading online and based on how my girlfriend has been acting, I think she suffers from depression. I know i'm not qualified to just diagnose her like that but from reading a lot on depression forums, etc., all the symptoms and the way she's been acting, it all makes sense now. Even certain things she's said to me when we talk match up with what a depressed person would say.

Now I know she needs to get professional help and this issue obviously transcends getting advice from a PUA board, but if anyone has any experience dealing with a depressed girlfriend, you advice would be appreciated!

i've dealt with girlfriends who experience genuine depression and i've dealt with girlfriends that fake depression.

there is one way to tell the difference.

if a girl "suffers" due to her depression and "loses things" because of it, it is real. things such as relationships, jobs, health, etc.

if a girl "gains" due to her (supposed) depression and "gets things" such as attention, gifts, money, sympathy, etc. she is a fake ass bitch.

be careful.

either way, it is hell.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Ive been with a girl (freak) who suffered genuine depression. Had 23 exes and she just turned 17, lost jobs and has no friends because of it. She goes to a coach who helps her with it.

From my experience its best to break-up or get heart broken hard. These girls are selfish bro, really selfish. They think about their own feelings and needs but never give a shit how you feel.

The best part is they SAY sweet things when there in a good mood but never back it up in actions.

Worst thing you can do is feel sorry for her or try to cheer her up when she is acting cold, just ignore her and go do things with your friends.

This girl was the reason i joined PUA, to become more of a man and get my inner game together but besides learning a lot i can also tell you its not always you! I am with a good girl now who is super sweet and does anything to please me, no fucking drama and issues, just a fun relationship.

So my advice: Tell her you can't be with her anymore and deserve to be treated better or go in with an ultimatum like: I love you a lot but i cant do this anymore if you keep treating me this way, make up your mind or i am gone.

If you do not break-up you WILL a 100% get dumped and it will hurt.


If you were like me you read this post and think yea he is right and i should dump her but you just can't fucking do it! You love her or at least love the sex she gives you and this is enough to get mentally abused so no matter what anyone says you stick by it until she dumps you.

Ive been there and what you will have at the end is no self respect, not even a grime. You get mentally abused but accepted it because of the love/sex she gave you, what would your father think about you??

Break-up for your own good, after break-up you can always re-contact her to be friends if you like, this worked out for me at least. I gave it 2 months.

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Thanks for the words. I saw her yesterday and at first she was cold, but then opened up to me later at night. She said that she avoids me, but misses me a lot, but then when we're together she just wants to get away from me. It's gotten to the point where i'm starting to display some of the same behaviours as her.

This morning, she started acting cold again and cancelled all our evening plans with some lame excuses.

I know I need to walk away from this relationship, despite how much I love her. But it's not healthy for me to be in this and as strong as I thought I could be, it's starting to affect me negatively.

Now I need to meet up with her in persion to break up with her but the fact of the matter is, she's still avoiding me!

What should I do? I was thinking just a text like 'hey are you free for a quick drink? we need to talk." would do...or is that too obvious?

too obvious, might make her anxious and wanting to avoid it. Maybe try telling her you're passing by and want to grab a quick drink real fast. Or go down her place and get her to come out for a few minutes so you can have your talk and get it over with.

Yeah I know it's pretty obvious but I think she's expecting it at this point by now.

However, what baffles me is that if she is acting so cold/distant and avoiding me, wouldn't she just want to get it over with and break up?

I sent her a text asking if she wanted to grab a quick drink because I wanted to talk to her about something...but she totally just ignored my questions and replied with 'Hows your day!'. LOL.

We bantered back and forth a few times and I pushed for a meetup again....and she said she was 'tired'. I then told her to let me know when she's free this week.

She obviously knows what's going to go down, but why won't she just accept it at this point.

Regardless, what should I do? Just ignore her until she's ready to meet? Or should I just keep pushing for a meet up so we can finally get this over with?
I don't want to end up breaking up with her via text/e-mail because we both deserve better than that. But if she keeps avoiding me, what choice to I have??

Send her a text its done. She deserves it. Stop wasting your time to arrange a meetup, start meeting a new girl who loves you and don't treat you like shit.

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

AGREED!!!!

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

She texted me back this morning with some dates that she's free.

Looks like it going down on thursday!

A part of me is sad that I know we're coming to an end...but another part of me knows that it truly is time to walk away.

It sucks because we had all these great summer plans together...but hey at least I have the summer to be single right?

i would just text her and say "i am done with your bullshit, find another victim, deuces"

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Ok so we worked out our schedules (since we're both busy people) and are meeting up on Friday. Yeah, I know what you're thinking but unfortunately Friday is the only day we're both available. Oh yeah and another reason why I want to meet up is because she actually has some stuff of mine, including a key to my apartment.

So in regards to my mindset, I've totally checked out of the relationship. I still love her and every now and then a little voice in my head is screaming to 'give her a chance', but I know that this is what I gotta do if we both want to move forward in our lives.

So we're meeting up on Friday...how should I play it from now until then? I was thinking of going no contact, but my roommate suggested that I just act normal until I break the news to her. I'm sure she already knows it coming but I don't want her to flake due to anxiety or whatever.

So she called me last night at like 3am and knew right away that we were going to have the 'talk' right there and then.

Overall it ended well. We both were able to express how we felt about the relationship and how much we love and care for each other. I said it's probably best for us to walk away from this relationship before it gets toxic. I said that i'll always be there for her, but that I can't be her boyfriend right now.

Although she did cry, she agreed with everything I was saying. She apologized for acting cold/distant and said that it feels like she's losing her bestfriend. She tried to push for us to be friends but I just said that I would love for that to happen in the future but right now I think it's best if we both take time to decompress from this relationship.

I also suggested that she gets help with her depression and start focusing on herself. She actually took all my advice in stride and agreed with me. Telling me that she wants to get better.

So that's it for now I guess. I'm obviously sad that it had to end but I feel like over the past few weeks, I was subconsciously preparing myself for our breakup. I do love her and if she gets her life back in order I would love to work on getting our relationship back, but for now this is how it's gotta be.

Now with that being said, we are still going to meet up as scheduled so we can return each other's stuff. Once this happens, I know I need to go No Contact for a while. However, should it be 100% no contact? I mean everything ended on good terms and I know I need to get space from her in order to heal...but I still care about her and want to be there for her as she heals herself. So do I really need to cut all interaction (text, facebook, etc.)? Or is it ok to have limited contact (ie - only reply seldomly, etc.)?