those are some bullcrap DHV stories to put on your facebook, I don't recommend.

Tucker max's quotes. Dude knows how to pull pussy and doesn't give a fuck what he says.

-The key to any woman's heart is through her mother, have sex with her and you're in

-Sex is like pizza, even if it's bad, it's still pretty good

-Oh you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYONE... and they meet at the bar.

-I love how foreigners try to speak the English language, like the other day this Chinese prostitute, who wanted to applaud me for my sexual performance, said "i give you clap"

-I hate when I forget to turn my swag off at night and i wake up covered in bitches

-The only B word you should call a woman is Beautiful... Bitches LOVE being called Beautiful

I tend to update mine a lot. Mainly because I get bored on the 3 hours a day I spend shuttling around London. Most of my updates therefore tend to be running commentary of my slow decent into a rage-filled madness thanks to the 83 to Hendon.

(OT note; No irratating London Transport Robot Woman. I will not mind the gap between the train and the platform. Fuck you.)

But then I never game on facebook. Because my Mum's on it, and bless her she thinks I'm such a nice boy.

Btw I think the worst times to update your status are really early in the morning like before 12pm or after 12am late at night, update it in times when pple check their facebook the most for better responses to the update

Cheers