I'd like some outside input on this situation.

My current girlfriend had requested (about a month ago) that I stop meeting up with, chatting to, or even text messaging and of my ex-girlfriends as she had known that I had cheated (not on her) in the past with an ex.

So, I complied with her request by sending a "final" message to these selected ex-girlfriends, with the current girlfriend watching as I sent the Facebook message to these women.

(now let's time warp to last weekend)

We're at a pool party for a friend of mine and everyone (her included) is having a great time. As the party starts to wind down, one of the selected ex-girlfriends and her new boyfriend show up to the party. She leaves the noob standing there talking to the host (who is drunk and has repeated his story several times to them already) and takes a seat at the table I, my current, and another couple are sitting at.

In no time my ex-girlfriend has struck up a casual conversation with me, while the current is sitting in lap. Current girlfriend is there for the entire encounter and seems fine, when suddenly she gets up and disappears for about ten minutes. So as to not agitate the situation I went to go find her, only to discover that she was text messaging her ex-boyfriend. I ask her who she was texting "no one" and then who she had been texting in the car "no one" and then "Why are you texting exBF?" to this she replies that I had made her feel guilty when her and I had, had, an argument (months ago) that I said "I don't just cut people out of my life because I'm not dating them anymore".

Now I find this argument to be absurd on the notion that SHE HAD WATCHED ME send the DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN Facebook message. I also learn that she had hung out with this ex-boyfriend three times since I had sent that message. They went to the movies, went to dinner, and watched a movie at his house. (All of which were defended as "just friends" activites). At this point she has had a lot to drink and does not feel good so we leave the party and go to bed.

The next night she sends me a text messaging saying that she just got off the phone with ex-boyfriend. I ask how it went and she said horrible, that he is really upset. I ask "what did you say" and she said "that they could still be friends, but shouldn't see each other or talk as much". I ask how did he take it to which she said that he said "I know you feel the same as I do, but you're worried that it will go back to the same way it was before (he is referring to their abusive relationship) but I've changed." and then something about how he'd wait for her because she is the perfect woman blah blah AFC talk.

I pretty much stated that this kid was a jerk in the past and she knows it (which I shouldn't have done) and she starts defending him "but he is a nice guy, he always wanted to be with me and to talk to me, and I don't always feel that you do". To which I point out the difference between wanting absolute control and knowledge over someone's life and the way I treat her. I tell her that I trust her judgement and that I believe she wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our relationship, that is why I do not constantly have to be with her or talk to her or ask her what she is doing all the time.

I suspect she may still be talking to this kid. The other day we had been hanging out and I casually attempted to peek over her shoulder and she hid the phone away from me. I didn't make a deal of it but I have my thoughts...

What are your thoughts fellow PUA?

there is so much to comment on that i don't even know where to begin.

my advice is don't be exclusive with this girl.

what she is demanding, she isn't capable of providing.

she is not ready for commitment.

her age?

i'm guessing 18 to 20 just from the behavior.

date other girls.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

date me

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

you've pretty much answered you're own question i think. shes shown you that she wants you to give up all ties to ex and other girls, but she isn't willing to do the same. she has hid the fact that she still talks and hang outs with her ex. i think you're making yourself look AFC by stickin with her and accepting what she is throwing your way. tell her its too much, you're not looking for this kind of disfunctional relationship. see what she says, if she blows up then move on. not worth the crazy drama, there are toooooons of girls out there bro. do you really want a girl that is so insecure that she makes you send out messages to your exes saying that you cant talk to them?

I'd be dumping her for them ^^ reasons alone, i dont tell my gf who she can talk to and she doesn't tell me who i can talk to.

And her making you cut all contact with your exs whilst actually meeting one herself is more then enough reason to say bye bye to her, to be honest bro she has probably cheated on you

She's hiding those texts from you because she's sharing her emotions, something she didn't want you to see. I don't think she cheated on you, but that dude is pumping her head full of bullshit. If she thought he was being pathetic, you would be able to read all those texts because she would probably volunteer that information. Honestly don't be a dick about it, like I said I don't think she cheated on you, but being on this forum you should know how easy it is to get into their heads and fuck things up.

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The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

Hey Guys,

Thank you for your opinions! I've only just got to them but here is the update.

I gave her 2 options: friends (she suggested with benefits) or a relationship without exes. She chose the relationship with me. I think I'm going to stick this one out for the sake of riding it to the end.

If I find out that she has continued talking to him then I'll be back in the game in no time, but if she plays her cards right then things will be alright.

I agree with Tundra, I don't think she cheated and that he is just doing the AFC dump of emotion to try and win her back.

For Hobbit: She ended the last relationship by cheating on him with me. As far as not providing, the last relationship was the sum of the ex-boyfriend's insecurity and a need for absolute and total control. He wanted to know where she was, who she was with, what she was doing and always had to be with her. As a result she never really grasped the concept of trust in another person because there was never a time they were apart.

so she has cheated in the past.

i always like to point that out.

be aware of that fact.

regardless of whether ex-bf was a dildo or not, she still chose to cheat instead of leaving him first.

this suggests a character flaw.

and cheaters rarely change.

you don't have to agree, obviously, as i am only giving my opinion.

but it's an opinion i've seen pan out time and time again with multitudes of people over the years...

what will she do the first time you two have a bad day?

the same thing she did to him?

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

something is fishy here, usually girls don't hang out and watch movies at other dudes houses unless they are interested in them or they are completely non-sexual and safe and have built enough trust over time so the girl knows how pussy mode they are, seriously, try to get a few girls over to your house to watch a movie alone with you, see how that goes, 4/5 girls that don't flake will be willing to have sex with you (or at least they will want to fool around), chances are your girlfriend is no different (assuming you are adults)

judging as how he is an ex, seems pretty fucking fishy if you ask me (obviously he is not non-sexual if they dated)

anyways, might as well give her the benifit of the doubt or what ever, but this sort of shit is borderline, chick asks you to cut yourself off from your ex's meanwhile she is out watching movies with hers? wtf?

getting butthurt and all insecure and jealous about your girlfriend hanging out with her friends and going out is one thing, but being butthurt and all jealous about your girlfriend hanging out alone with her ex-boyfriend... there is probably a pretty good reason that you have come up with these suspicions in your head

and to top it off, you met her by getting her to cheat... maybe you might notice a pattern of weird shit going on here...

Dude cut your loses and bail! she clearly has feelings for her ex still, and your value in her eyes has dropped! If you had high value to her she wouldn't even have thought about talking to her ex, and the moment you said it bothered you she would have stopped without question! she is putting his needs before yours which is a bad sign for you!

what should you do? Tell her you care about her but if she is going to sneak around and hang out with her ex then you don't want a relationship and so you need to end things so you can find someone who wants the same things in a relationship that you do.

Will this be easy? no....but its the only way you have a shot at keeping her around, she will either leave you or cheat and break your heart so you might as well take the lead and handle it your self, plus save your self a lot of pain! once you do this watch her mood change big time! give it a week or two and she will be calling you, telling you how much she misses you, you value will sky rocket!

remember you are the alpha male, you are the leader, if she wants to choose a weak beta ex over you then its her loss not yours! and you need to act like it doesn't phase you, don't get mad just stay calm and tell her its over.

problems start when you accept the fact and accept her behaviour....bail out of there before you cross your own boundaries.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Do you really not see the only option you have here?

Only one choice I could see in your situation!


Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

This situation reminds me of a similar one my roommate was once in. He was dating this psychotic girl who slowly started dominating every aspect of his life - she would keep making demands and he would continue to keep giving in to her until finally he was completely under her control.

Now I'm not saying that this will happen to you (that was an EXTREME case). However, if your current girlfriend starts making unfair demands like this then what else could she start demanding of you? Her suspicious behavior regarding her recent activity with her ex also isn't looking too good, nor does the fact that she forced you to cut off all contact with your ex gfs while she watched. That kind of behavior screams insecurity and a need to be in control.

Relationships are about equality between both people. Both sides should give and take the same amount so as to maintain equilibrium. Bad things begin to happen once this balance is disturbed and tilted towards one side.

tl;dr? Tell her that if she expects you to cut off all ties with your ex gfs then she should be doing the same. If she doesn't stop talking to him after some time then move on to the next one. Hanging out with one's ex generally does not lead to good things, especially if they're the most recent one.

She made you type a message to all your ex-girlfriends to never contact you again. You did it because you did not want to jeopardize the relationship. Make her do the same, if she doesn't, then thats something you really need to consider.

Not to mention, she will come to understanding that you are feeling the same way she felt before she made you message your ex-girlfriends, resulting in her feeling at ease with the whole situation and eventually find no motivation to text her ex-boyfriend.

If this plan follows through, and she still is texting her ex-boyfriend... thats also something you really need to consider.