Well I was out clubbing with a mate of mine last Saturday and I was partying with my mates.

So I saw this girl in the distance and there was this tall guy chatting her up. He seemed to be there for some time but left afterwards. She was with 3 other male friends.

I am new to this whole PUA thing and made a mistake. I approached this girl 3 times that night. Here's what happened:

1) After that other guy left this girl and her 3 male friends were in another area of the club dancing. My lady friend walked up to the girl that I was interested in and said that a friend of hers (myself) likes her. When I approached she smiled and said "I am with someone." So I left.

2) After say another 30-45 minutes later I approached this same girl who still had her 3 other male friends with her. I smiled at the other guys and then her making eye contact. I approached her closely and tried to start talking with her.

This whole period where I was talking with her she was either looking at me and smiling or looking at a wall and smiling. She never stopped smiling.

I put my arm around her shoulder, moved my head close to hers and started talking. I asked her what her name was, introduced myself, told her it was good seeing her. She still mentioned she was with someone...so I asked her "what's his name? where is he? is he here?" She didn't have any answer for this and kept on smiling. I asked her if she was coming back to the same club next weekend..she said no...I asked her where she was going and she responded 'I don't know."

So I left telling her it was nice meeting her.

3) Me and my friend were about to leave...but I didn't want to leave without closing of what I started. I got a pen and paper and wrote down:
"LOL. There is no other guy is there? Let's have a drink together sometime. Here's my number..."

So I walked up to her group (in a circle) and this time blocked off her 3 male friends. How? Simple..I shook hands with the first male friend and shook hands with the rest. After shaking hands with the guys it was just me and her one on one. My back was facing all the other guys. So again my arm was around her back...my head was close to hers...she kept on smiling...did not hesitate...she did not mention she was with someone this time around and I had a quick chat with her. I passed her the message which she started reading and told her I'll see her next time and I left.

WELL! Lol...no phone call from her yet.

Anyways what's your opinion guys on how I went and what I could have done better?

Now that I think about it I could have asked her if she had a favourite drink and held her hands while escorting her to the bar to buy her a drink. Missed opportunity

I should also mention the whole period I was with her she was smiling and when my arm was around her shoulder I did not feel any disinterest. I should also mention she didn't have much to say except her smile.

You just jumped right through her hoop . She threw a IOD and you reacted.

Next time someone says that you say : "So am I so don't try anything funny;)" and continue gaming.
No dude.. You could've said : "You seem pretty cool.. how about you buy the first round and I'll buy the second."
Don't offer her value without her offering anything back.


Sounds to me like she was just having a good time. It doesn't necessarily mean she's interested.

____________________________________________________________________

I think your biggest problem was not being able to have any prizability.
She was the prize and she knew it.

Things you should've done :
1.Negged her (This will lower her value and disarm the guys.)
2.You could've opened the guys instead of her.(They would've introduced you to her)
3.Taken her phone number instead of giving yours. Then waited a few days before calling her.
Giving your phone number leaves her in charge of when you two will see each other again.

4. Read The Venusian Arts.


Don't worry. Next time will be successful


- Happy Gaming!
- Energetica

All-in-all I think you did a pretty good job, I'm in the RAFC stage so I’m not brilliant at this yet but you addressed the sh*t test really well.

Leaving her your phone number ultimately left her with all the control over what will happen next, but you never know what could happen.

Although I know you didn't do it, its fine to ask her what her favourite drink is, but whatever you do, don't ever get her one - you will DLV because what you would be doing is 'buying' her time.

At the very least, get her to buy the first drinks and you'll get the second.

Thanks guys

So what does RAFC mean?

@ Energetica

What did you mean by "You just jumped right through her hoop". You think her IOD was saying "I am with someone?"

Also when I asked her who this other guy was and etc...it was in a playful manner and not serious. xD

RAFC = Reformed/Recovering Average Frustrated Chump
(Sorry the acronyms are taking over me on this forum- there’s a useful reference list of them all here) terms-of-importance-great-for-new-members-vt3077.html

*edit* fixed broken link

She was telling you she's with someone to throw you off guard. The only reason she did that was to see if you'll get worried. She was most likely just there with her friends.

She gave you an IOD right after you've approached her which means your telegraphed too much interest even BEFORE you've approached her.

There are 4 types of hoops a girl can throw at you :

1. She gives you an IOD to see if you'll get worried.
2. She gives you an IOI to see if you'll start chasing her.
3. She baits you into showing off to her.
4. She asks you something to bait you into explaining yourself to her.

When you jump through her hoops you only reinforce her of her sexual power as a woman.

- You're just giving her an ego boost and she's losing attraction.

I really suggest reading the Venusian Arts Handbook if you haven't read it already : )

- Happy Gaming
- Energetica

Whats wrong with #4 and how to handle it? Sorry for off topic

She might ask you "Why do you wear your top like that?"

WRONG
------------------------------

You : "Well you see I always used to wear my top in another way , but since....blah blah"

She'll see your scared of making a bad impression and therefore you're explaining yourself to her.
- You assure her of her sexual power and she loses attraction.

RIGHT

____________________________

You : "Stick around and you'll find out;)"
You didn't give her what she wants , you gave a challenging answer instead of explaining yourself.

OR

You : "Why do you wear your lipstick like that?;)"

You've set up a new hoop instead of jumping through her hoop. Clever.


Remember , YOU are the prize , not her.
If anyone should be doing some explaining it should be her.

- Happy gaming
- Energetica

Well done on the open, you made it 90% further than the other guys who want her.

Now that you passed the hardest bit, time to learn some true game.

Energetica - awesome feed back. Apply what this guy is saying.

It's quite obvious to me that you need to do some serious learning. Download the Mystery Method audio book, and read 'The Game' by Neil Strauss. Look at stealth attraction on youtube and everything you can find about the Mystery Method. Download and watch every episode of 'The Pickup Artist'.

Everything you did apart from the approach into a 4set with 3 guys was AFC. Sorry to be harsh but this is the truth. You admitted you are new and made mistakes, so I won't push this any further. The bottom line is you are here to survive and replicate, there is no other reason. The best investment you can make is in yourself. Make your offspring the best they can be!

We can tell you point by point sentence by sentence what to do and what not to do, or you can cram your brain for a week with PUA material and be right up to scratch. The latter is faster and highly successful

My advice from reading.

Reciprocate IOI's with IOI's. Reciprocate IOD's with IOD's.

Open the guys in the set, neg the target. DHV yourself by talking to the guys.

Never open a girl telling her your interested(even if your female friend is doing it). Her value is already higher than yours (in her mind) so why increase it more.

Always take her number and never give yours.

Never buy a girl something until after you've slept with her.

A PUA is the exception to the rule.

Some girls smile as defense. Watch a video on youtube about spotting real smiles, the come from the eyes or the stomach, not the mouth.

Arm around the shoulder is probably not the best first kino step to take.

Balance your humour with a tad of cocky.

Drop a time constraint in on the approach.

You're not getting a phone call from her. Learn from the experience and begin another chapter of self-improvement.

Make statements, express your personality.
Don't ask her questions until she asks you questions.
Opinions are fine to ask about, try to disagree with her opinion flirtatiously.

Good on you dude. All the best

Thanks bro

@natureinthecity
So why wouldn't arm around the shoulder be a good kino move? She didn't seem to mind

This is purely speculative. It may have worked a treat I was not there to see. The reason I prefer other kino moves such as taking her hand is that you can test for responsiveness and know where in comfort you are, eg. squeeze her hands if she squeezes back she likes you.
When you start to kino I would definitely reccommend slight touching and brushing as a starting point, as opposed to an arm around the shoulders.

You want to calibrate all kino to IOI's.

My opinion

LoL nice one

I am based in Sydney. Oz... would be good to know if there are any regular saargers to go clubbing with.