ok good

so you know it's all bullshit... you see your own illusions ?

right now you need to correct your behaviours, doesn't mean you have to apply a thousand things.

first you need to know that a relationship ( or a long term date ) is not something to be taken lightly. YOu have issues, everyone has issues but if there are serious isses going on you need to fix that before stepping into relationships.

a issue is a serious isse when it's affects you significantly , relationship is a responsibility....look you are depressed ( or something like that ) that means you are not happy with your behaviour wether it be concious or subconcious. Relationships don''t make you bulletproof - they make you vulnerable. dating hot girls etc is fun but when you really like someone and you get into a conflict with that person : you don't like the relationship or there are some issues , it adds extra stress to a part of you that is already emotionally unhealthy.

a hot woman on your arm is cool to impress friends... but it doesn't fix your issues, it doesn't make everything better and it doesn't satisfy you on a deep personal level ( your own personal relationship with yourself. Money, relationships, woman etc they can make your life better but they add responsibility. Getting alot of chicks is just like trying to get rich... it''s hard work but it''s not lots of work. growing as a person and developing yourself that is LOTS of work and most people will not do it, 99 % of the people you see will not read a book or reflect on their lives deep;y and thoroughly untill something really bad happnes and they are confronted with their own selfs.

right now stop seeking validation or value in external things because they will not fix you. this doesn't mean you have to live in solitude, you still can enjoy going out and you still can play on your xbox. It means you are not using things that are regarded as value by culture ( external things etc ) to fix your emotional issues.

1. ask some good questions... what do you really need ? your body wants to fuck every piece of ass etc. but that's your body... what does your spirit want ? what does the ''real you ''really want ?

2. identify what stresses you... ID what makes you unhappy. it can be things that would make you happy on a superificial level or it can be your relationship with your parents.

3. act on what stops you .... you feel insecure about your body.. just go to the swimming pool. Don't give a fuck , you will see that most people won't give a fuck either they maybe would even be nice to you. Some people will not like what you do but that always happen - there always will be haters no matter what you do. don''t make other people happy... being insecure and hiding it from people is trying to make them happy, because you think they think they won't like it. Do what makes you happy.

if you follow these 3 steps...asking yourself what YOU really need instead of all the bullshit you want.... ID what is pissing you off so you can learn about it - so you can know your weak points and use them in your advantage. Confront what you fear because that is likely something that makes you unhappy, that is your weak point. you cannot expect to improve if you do not face your weak points in order to learn something about yourself.

Another thing you have is that you trying to please everyone, you are trying to hide your insecurities, you are trying to fit in and seek approval.

look..when something happens it's always your problem but it's also someone elses their problem. if someone doesn't like you it doesn't mean you suck...it can be as well their issue - they don''t like you because they don''t like that part of themselfs. it's both true.... but when someone doesn't like your eye color - it''s just their freaking problem.

now you can be passive about it... stall or not be serious.. Life IS FULL of obstacles. after you solved something other shit will happen to you... it''s not like you work at yourself and you never have to do it again , after you achieved something a new personal challenge will arrive. so what's the point then ? well.. if you solve a few obstacles you get rid of them before new ones arrive. if you stack problems on problems you get a overload called stress and depression. Depression is not one simple thing that happened, it's a collection of problems wether it be physical, psychological or spiritual.

when you have looked at yourself start looking to ''some'' external stuff... relationship with your parents is a huge one, very important. i can guarantee you that stuff happened when you were growing up that really fucked you up - maybe you see it or maybe not yet.

so just tell me nr. 1,2,3... give yourself some time to reflect on it and write them here on this thread , just be 100 % honest about it.

aside from all of that

something that i really see over and over is that you are trying to make other people happy...by making them happy and ''fitting in'' they make you happy. this is not true dude....i think most part of your life you tried to make everyone happy but not yourself.

next point is that you are not accepting yourself...just try to do it... why waste time and not do it ? keep working on yourself untill you can acccept yourself.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I have taken time off, away from the PUA, I have been alone and thought a lot lately. Asking myself a lot of questions: What do I want? What do I need to be happy? Why am I not happy right now? Over the past few days, what do you notice about yourself?

I have written a few things down, and I will tell you what I think so we can see the problem together, and hopefully fix it.

Firstly, What do I notice about myself: I am extremely bi-polar, I don't think I need medical help at all, but my mood swing can change very quickly, but isn't that the same for everyone? My mood very much depends on the very least important things in life, what people think about me, if I have a hot girl checking me out, inevitably, I ashamed to say it, I live in a fake world where I place my priorities in a completely wrong way. If I am alone, I feel like there is no one out there I can rely on, or trust, and people are the fuel for my happy because they give me the feeling of friendship and attention. Which leads me to my next topic, I seek attention, both a negative way and bad way. Most of the time, I want the attention of being the best of something, a captain on the soccer team, the best on a team, with a hot girl, but a lot of time I will do an act of stupidity for pure attention (lately I have realized and controlled very well - and when I say an act, its nothing too serious). I spend money that I don't have, to try and better myself, for an example, buy clothes to make myself look better, and then I will ask my dad if I can have money (and he doesn't have a job right now). I am aware this is weak, and bad, I am sure reading this sounds worse than it does, but this is the truth.

Why am I not happy right now: I believe I have nailed this one on the head, that I am not happy right now because I had a perfect life in my high school, one of the richest schools in the world, soccer captain, hot girlfriend, great family, basically like the life of the kids in The OC. I have something to compare my life to now, to something in the past, and the past will always win. The thing that stands out about my past is the girlfriend, and as my priorities are messed up and girls are ranked very high in my important life must-haves, I always think of the great relationship of my ex, and can't seem to get her out of my head. Therefore I am one of those guys who can't move on from the past, sad - I know.

Another reason why I am not happy are two reasons in my current life.
1) I am dependent, if I didn't have my family (money) I wouldn't survive, I couldn't pay for my college, I couldn't pay for clothes, food, anything and everything. I am in no situation by the age of 20 to be proud of and self sustainable I am in a good college now, hoping to get my degree by the age of 22, and then I don't know what. I always have this feeling I am not doing enough in the current space of time.
2) Almost everything I have been a part of, I could never hang on to or do well in (although one can say I did well to get there in the first place). I got a scholarship for soccer to a good college, and after the first year I got cut. Maybe it was unfair, and unjust, but still I got cut. Soccer is the one thing that I love, was proud of and always there for me, and now Its gone at a University level. There are many more examples, but this is the main one.

I always seem to have an excuse and let myself down, I know that I am capable of good things, people say how good I am at talking to others, how well spoken I am and funny, most of all I know if I found something I love that improved myself everyday I would stick to it and go 100% at it.

What do I need to be happy/What do I want:

This is where I do want your help, where to be honest, I have trouble even beginning to start. I know you have given a lot of material, and for a long period of time I would try things my own way and half heartidly use what you gave me, but I am ready to give 100% to everything you suggest and report to you on what is going on.

The most important thing I need is a strong mindset, a mindset of pure confidence and NO INSECURITY. I am very insecure I realize, maybe because I am not use to people talking bad about me and when I came back after high school people did because I tried to win my ex gf back. Anyways, I am very insecure and I don't have much confidence. That I need help on improving.

I know I need something that I look forward to everyday, a hobby, or skillset that I can use in life and learn from.

I am very weak and skinny, and every man and girl tells me, wow you are very skinny, and I also have a defect with my body where my chest is inverted. I hate it, and that gives me a mindset that, even if I go to the gym, its going to be there, there is no point in working out.

I also do want a girl who gets me, who helps me, but doesn't give me everything I want. As once a good girl, does give me what I want, I loose interest straight away. As you know with this catholic girl, I still have to tell her its done, and I never wanted it to be like this, I liked her a lot, but then I realize, maybe I liked the challenge, sad, i know. I dont want to admit this.

I am being as honest as I can, please respect this, please help me.

What do i do, where do i start?

everything will work out dude