PUA friends,

Lately, I have been feeling a bit depressed and useless. I graduated school at the top of life, being soccer captain, popular, many friends, living the life with an amazing hot girlfriend.

Two weeks before University, The Break Up. This led to First year of Uni, myself constantly trying to win this girl back that I dated for a year, and felt seriously depressed over. A seriously big hole was in my chest, and I thought that honestly there was no point in living life. I had serious one itis, and 2 years later, I still do.

In college, I started to date this new girl, she is an athlete herself, a virgin, determined, maybe overall a better girlfriend than my last one, but I am not as attached as my last girlfriend. This one is, too nice, too pure, too christian, not witty enough, doesn't make me work for anything and I call the shots. She even says "if you take my V card your mine forever" - Creeps me out.

The point is, whilst being in Uni, which I went on scholarship. I still feel empty, I still feel useless. I don't have anything like the oneitis that I use to have, but I still think about her, I think how she had the best smile and how sexy she looked without her clothes. I have gone down hill to be honest, and I am very pessimistic when I use to be optimistic.

I am not happy with my body, I am not fat, far from it, very skinny, and have a concave sternum (Chest). I don't have much money. Friends in University are limited. My gf right now is a person I don't even think about much. I fight with my dad a lot, whom he has done nothing but support me and give me money and give me opportunities.

I use to feel part of something, I use to feel like I belonged and was important. Now I have no idea what I want to do, how to become important again. How to give myself value and put myself on the right path. HOW TO GET OVER THIS ONEITIS (Do i talk to her when she talks to me on bbm or ignore her, 2 years later still).

Your advice is needed,

First of all the fact that you have a girlfriend shows that you are at least attractive to the opposite sex. Theres one thing to feel good about yourself. Next, she has expressed interest in giving up her virginity for you. Thats a pretty big thing. You were once soccor captain! Thats pretty impressive. You had a bunch of friends.

You can have it all again and more.

Start by concentrating on yourself. Join a gym or by some dumbells and a barbell. Start a good workout routine (google scooby workout) and sort your diet out. Go onto facebook and contact all your old mates, arrange nights out, days out etc. Even if they are dorks, go out with them. Start some new hobbies. Join a soccor team again. Read some books, stuff like 'feel the fear and do it anway' 'the power of now' 'how to make friends and influence people'. Make it your ambition in life to improve yourself. You were once a stereotypical alpha male, you can be that person again.

This isnt about your ex. You are just associating memories of her with being who you were. Think about yourself with all those mates, all that confidence, all those people looking up to you with your new girlfriend (who sounds pretty fucking decent) and feel how good it is! Its not your girlfriend you miss, its the life that you miss.

Dont think about your how good your ex was, think about your life was.

read the original poster's reputation before responding to him.

he just sent me a private message after being told almost a year ago to stop. he was sending me several per day with the same questions. i kept telling him to stop sending them and he wouldn't. he was literally "begging" for my help. i asked him politely to post it in a thread so that EVERYONE could help.

well, i've been gone for about a half year. returned back two days ago.

and what do you know?

more private messages from him literally copied and pasted word-for-word with the exact same story.

he is either trolling or needs serious mental help.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

spot on .. this is what he wrote me
i've spent investing days and hours in this guy.. he asks exactly the same question - the same context just using different words to describe ''problems''... i've told him what to do daily and what materials to follow - david D stuff etc. i told him my perspective on relationships , he doesn't take it seriously and he doesn't apply it - he just asks the same question over and over.... it's just a waste of time.

i was worried about this guy because he seemed really to need help - sometimes i was investing one or 2 hours in a message. ... he doesn't need advice - he needs a second mom and dad. if you are honest and if you really tell what's going on he won''t even reply - he won't even register.

he is a type of new that skillz360 lately replied in his post :


this is what i send to the OP
sometimes when he needs help and you don't contact him for a day because you have a own life you assumes you are ignoring him and he write such thing to you. if you do contact him he doesn''t even do anything with the information you gave him... he just leeches you constantly.

at this point i make a few conclusions based on all of this :

1. he must be retarded
2. he must be demented
3. he must be too occupied to apply the things that other people told him
4. he is a insecure approval attention seeker
5. he doesn't want to listen

i personally think it's 4 or 5 because he isn't stupid - he doesn't use his intelligence.

they guy just keeps using other people for validation and approval.. and if you don't give him that he will tell you you are ignoring him , that he thought you are his friend or that he's feeling like shit and that you are making it worse by not replying. in some cases he doesn't even reply back because likely you gave him approval... in some cases he doesn''t reply because he lives in denial and cannot stand you being honest.

His self sabotage is so extreme.. if i was a woman i wouldn't even say hi to him , not because his appearance or his insecurity - but because he is a people user - i would get the fuck out of there.
+ 10......

the only thing that would help this guy is to enroll him in the navy seals and send him to afghanisthan... maybe he grow some balls there.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

another reply i got in my private inbox
first...you behave like a fucking random guy.. you are not behaving as your true authenthic self. that''s because you are so ''depressed '' abouta problem which you can easily had solved if you really used everything what i told you.

thats's the problem.. i've spoken to you for years if not months and you still ask the exact same question - only you use different words to describe the issue... only conclusion i can make is that you didn''t took everything what i said serious enough and you didn't applied it enough... so for me it feels a waste of time repeating everything for the 5th time.

second.. i didn't call you mentally retarded - i said you behave like a retard and not like yourself.. i also said you are behaving like a retard because you aren't using your intelligence - you aren't stupid - i said you are intelligent but somehow you don''t have the balls to use that intelligence. Another problem you have is that you have a fucking fragile ego - i said you behaved like - didn't said you are... somehow you take it personally.

and yes we have made progress...but you still revert to the exact same questions that lead me to the conclusion you are just running around in circles wasting everyones time ( and your own ) ....the progress i see now is that you have serious problems and emotional problems., that you are acting immature and you are addicted to seeking approval and quick fixes. that is what you are uncovering right now.
then why are you still asking the exact same questions months / years later ? you have done nothing for me even tho i enjoyed writing you and helping you... i don't even need your help... im self-sufficient thank you.

and then i get the'' fuck you''..... if you behave like a retard i point it out and somehow you tell me to fuck off because i didn''t give you a kiss on the cheek like mommy does ? first of all you have done nothing for me and i only did stuff for you - and now i get the finger because im honest and because im pointing out your flaws ?

im 100 % honest.. if you don't like honesty then fuck off yourself...you don't like honesty because you aren't honest to yourself.

What have you done last few months to ''improve yourself '' ? tell me.. name something i told you and how you applied it. you are whining , bitching , moaning , complaining and putting responsibility for changing yourself on others. what i said in my previous post is that i talk with alot of people.. all high ranking people with different backgrounds who appreciate what advice i give them - and they apply it.

somehow if you think my time is not valuable then fuck off yourself... i think you don't have an idea who you are talking to. i still give you a second chance to ask proper questions and to take things seriously... not a 100 % effort but a 200 % effort... if you don't then i designate you as uneffective and not important.

aside from that i seriously don't give a fuck if you stop talking to me.. really.. i have dumped dozens of woman and rejected a ton of people in business. i have zero attachement to anything... so stop trying top flip the script and behaving angry because i don't give a fuck.. your impatience and inability to accept/process direct criticism is another flaw of your fragile ego. that''s what little children do , if they hear something they don''t like they get angry...

you should still join up with the navy seal and go somewhere.. get into a firefight... then maybe you would understand what i've told you.

get over it
if you don''t this seriously you must be really mentally retarded...

by the way.. mack is just not a guy.. he also gave me advice when i needed it and i applied it directly ASAP out of respect. When mack says something it's not just a guy who is talking - to me it's ''mack '' who is talking... show some fucknig respect to people who deserve it.

there is a reason only a few people are replying.. that's because all other people are sick or your whining and bitching.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

i quit responding to him when he was sending me several private messages per day begging for me to call him.

i kept saying that i am not comfortable with that. that i am a professional, have a family, and have a reputation to uphold.

i don't need my identity on some pua forum to be translated into my real life.

he begged, and begged, and begged, and was politely told no at each turn, until i finally just ignored him.

i did warn him that if he even showed an ounce of this stalkerish behavior toward his girlfriend that i hope she did run far and fast, because he seems kind of dangerously unstable.

btw, thanks for the props, lode.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

if you have alot of friends then why are you bothering people with private messages ? why do you come to this forum ?

what the fuck do you want ?

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Stop ridicilously overreacting. The two of you have over 4000 posts combined.

I have nothing invested in the situation. I am, however, warning anyone reading this that the OP is pretty much a stalker. Consider it a public service.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

still going to post the solution for him at the end of this text...

nope... im saying everything with a reason....nothing to do with our amount of posts

you have to understand that's it's stupid to ask a question... and a year later asking the same question for the 5th time. he doesn't listen and he admitted it thus i wasted my time , i feel like he isn't respectfull by not taking things seriously enough.

i told him that he got a emotional problem many months ago and that getting another GF is only making things worse... he keeps trying to get/convey external things in order to make him happy which doesn't work. when someone doesn't want to listen 1 time and ask the same question for the second time im ok with that... but when it's the 5th time it's getting useless.... + when i say my honest opinion on how to fix things he doesn't want to hear it... somehow he doesn't reply.

i do not change people i only help people who want to change things themselfs, OP is asking me to change him which is impossible. + every 2 weeks he sends me a message on how insecure he is and blablabla.. it's getting freaking anoying... he constantly asks me for approval.... im not a babysitter.

i really feel sorry for him.. really and i hope everyone is happy in this world - pink unicorns for everyone and rainbows yadayada...but i have my boundaries as well i got my own life.

NOW

OP is not happy with who he is... he saying that he's having a hot girlfriend,alot of friends etc is just denial and a illsion. He is clearly unhappy...

he can either
1. trying to get superficial things like money to enforce his identity which wouldn't work anyway because again he uses something external again instead of adressing his psychological and emotional problems... he already had constant thoughts about making easy money etc.

2. stop searching for quick fixes.... nothing comes easy and... being rich isn't alot of work - that's just hard work. being who you really want and adressing all your issues THAT IS ALOT OF WORK. and it takes disciplines and setting up mature rules for yourself in order to keep yourself in line.

3. OP is just not happy with who he is...nothing external can change that overnight.. he's been asking me for a year now and he didn't even applied what i told him.

now he can either commit suicide... or he can do something about it... if he keeps following the same path he will be a psychiatric patient very soon.

my advice to the OP.... look at what you need instead of what you want ( already said this 10 times ).

why do you want a GF ?.. to cover up your insecurity and to get attention..
why do you want money ?.. because you think you need it to become a cooler person, or that i makes your life better indefenitly.

if OP used the materials i sent/wrote him months ago he wouldn't be into his mess... therefore he can use my old advice and the advice on this page - im not going to invest in him untill he shows clearly his plans and improvements. meanwhile he needs to stop stalking... it chases people and woman away... i never ignore or compliment negative behaviours.

clearly i do feel for the OP.. because i have been there.. but the biggest difference between me and him is that i took massive action daily in order to be the person i want to be... i never complain and i always take responsibility.

again.. i don't wish anything bad for anyone... but there comes a point where i need to be direct, honest about someones extreme behaviour.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

I didn't want to reply in the thread because Lodweijkp knows a lot of personal information about me (which I appreciated for respecting) and I introduced a lot of friends to this site, therefore I am a bit skeptical they could easily make the match if they read this. That is not the point

I have huge respect for Lodewikjp, although we spoke through msn and private message a lot, I thought we were good honest friends, I do realize that he is just trying his best to help me.

When he picked me up I was really bad, and I have improved a lot since, but sometimes I do fall back down because of reminders of certain situations and I give it a shot to better it myself and then I turn to the forum.

I only really private message lodweijkp, and in the previous situations I did message Mack because I saw he had a huge thread going on, and he seemed to not studied "the game" but learnt emotions and how to best solve situations. Both are very good at the advice they give. Which is why when I felt desperate to get answers to my questions, I messaged them to find answers.

I tried to get the best out of both advices, but ofcourse me and Lodewijkp were more on a friend basis and I actually told him things my friends dont even know about me. Sorry to both.

The last thing I will say in this thread, the points lodewikjp has made are quite true, ofcourse they are hard to admit

He's definitely # 1 you should also add #6 Dumbass

_________________
Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

I've been excessively PMed by hundreds of people too.

He is the only one I decided to warn people about.

He exhibited true stalking behavior.

Literally BEGGING SEVERAL TIMES PER DAY for me to call him and to give him my personal phone number. He would NOT take no for an answer and was spamming my inbox with his same story over and over.

That isn't me being rude, Hobbit.

That is me calling a duck a duck.

I'm not a mean-spirited person.

I can't speak for what Lode has to say in this thread as he is his own person. But my posts are 100% truthful and I feel called for.

For the record, I reported him to the management here when it was going on and nothing was done about it.

I'll leave this thread now, but I'm not the bad guy here. This kid is nuts. That's not my fault. I'm not his mom.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I understand your be the better man point of view. From their perspective, they have invested a lot of hours into helping this guy and in the end he pretty much ignored all their efforts and keep asking the same thing after the fact. Naturally, mack and lode feel insulted and as if they have been dooped. It's hard not to take their anger out in this thread after everything. It's human nature. A few others are joining after hearing out their stories because they are able to feel and relate on some level. Then it becomes a group effect where it's much easier to be negative due to others giving you permission to do so from their actions. Doesn't necessarily make it right, but it's understandable.

I have read each of your posts, and I don't want to comment because to be honest I want this thread to be done, if anything I feel worse.

Mack, first of all, when someone disagrees with you, you make it a personal battle to prove them wrong, maybe its to maintain a reputation you have. But looking through our pm's, which total to not over 20 overall, and I asked if it is easier if you have a number so I can SPAM you as you said you are not on the forum each day. Stop turning it into something its not, alright man? I didn't go on a forum for a long time, a year later I came back, I saw you came back, so I sent you a recent message of me and now its a huge crime.

I sent lodewijkp a message because me and him have been talking for ages. Not always about me might I add. I see he is annoyed at some of the stuff I may not do, but I have done a lot of the stuff he has suggested. It is hard to buy a book, read it, and try to implement what it says into your daily life.

You guys have 1,000's of posts, your on this site daily and you easily pick up people who are desperate for help, I get that, and its easy for you to just say, "stalker", his actions are repetitive and desperate. You are right, I feel like needy, but its not what I want to be, I never use to be, now I am in this state I am messaging more than I wish i was because I want to get out of it. So can we PLEASE stop just talking about my behaviour, and some ways I can fix it. I will give it a try and keep you up to to date in my own thread if you want to see it.

But the more you go on about my "behaviours" and others like me, its making me feel a lot worse, and to be honest, I wish I coudl fix the way I am acting, cuz i dont normally act like this.