Thanks boyo, look forward to reading some entries in your journal. Try to be as specific as possible though.

Day 22
Today was a lazy Sunday afternoon. I walked into work to post a package. Still didn't have the balls to sort out a few things but will do later this week.

Today I just chilled. I wanted to go to another boxing show but decided to take a rain check as one of my students needed a bit of extra help before her exam tomorrow.

It feels good to be part of something useful. To know I may have contributed to her getting a better grade. Maybe even changing her outlook in life. I wonder how many lives I have positively affected, and negatively I guess it's the universe balancing itself out.

In the evening I decided to go to the movies by myself. It's something I do more regularly now. At first it was weird, as in, who the fuck goes to the movies by yourself...but I'm a loner and my friend circle seems to be dying so I guess it's just me now...

Plans for tomorrow.
-finish web template.
-apply for some more two jobs.
-Go into town and finally get my calendar phone
-Speak to two asian/indian girls. Ask them for directions- THAT'S IT.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Day 23
Today was a bad day. I spent the morning, mostly cruising the internet. Not good. I managed to post my package, but my phone still isn't fucking ready. I'll go in tomorrow.

Approaching two indian/asian girls
-So the goal for today was to just approach two indian girls and ask for directions. Nothing hard it would seem, but there I am lost in my head as to why I CAN'T do that. It's true I have a slightly higher anxiety with these type of girls. I guess it is because they could actually be my GF, (this is just a limiting belief in reality, any type of girl could be my GF)- This made it harder.

I came back from town a little disgruntled that I could even open. I walked around once then thought to myself, fuck this I'm going home.

I guess I should just stick it out until I do it, but sometimes... I don't know it took two failed attempts for the compliment. Maybe the same is true for this. I did however, manage to compliment the woman at the checkout when I was packing my parcel. She was much older though so it doesn't really count.

Improvements
I'm not sure what to do when I have such a mental block. Do I persist or just bail out? I think the answer is to persist. I've always bailed out all my life.

Let's at least try and get my adverts finished and an online template done.

For tomorrow, I got to prepare my final lesson with a student. After that it's into town to do the two compliments. Wind, rain or shine.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Hey man!
^ This right here is what I mean when I write about becoming more autonomous, more independent in my journal. In our life, we are constantly under the influence of external things... we don't have influence on most of them, but sometimes we do have a marge of action. Take it. You're going on the internet for a good reason? Good for you, open your browser, do your thing... You're on the internet to waste time? Then express yourself and take action: stop it. Most of the time we realize while doing it that we shouldn't be doing what we're doing... How many time have I fell asleep watching YouTube videos... I know it's bad, I need to stop that. It's this small room of action that gives birth to Inner Game. Be as active as you can be, less passive. That's why I sometimes decide to deprive myself from something (social media, tv...), to grab my "power of acting" in my hands, to free myself from external influences.
I know that feeling pretty well... but we both know this is not thinking rationally... Come on they are just girls, we could at least start a conversation... maybe take their number... we might even find them boring in the end... Yet we end up being irrational and having this distorted view on reality. We start to speak in our head, having non-sense conversations with ourselves. This is all bullshit. The thing is, it's a vicious circle we don't want to start. What we need is to stay rational in those situations. Being filled with regret, doubt or any form of negative thinking is the best way to fail because... IT PREVENTS US FROM THINKING CLEARLY... That's what Inner Game is all about, keeping this negative thinking out of the way so we can see things as they are... not distorted by our inability to think.
That would be the result for me too... We need to force ourselves to stay in touch with reality... You couldn't talk to this girl? So what? Let's have a nice interaction with the cashier at this Starbucks, enjoy a coffee... Go to a clothes store and throw an hello at the clerk... speak with the bus driver... stay in touch with reality. Yes, our imagination will be here to distort everything for us once we've missed a small opportunity, it's our job to get back to reality! Every time we catch our imagination picturing bad things, it's a sign we need to go back to reality. I usually say to the voices in my head: "okay, I hear you but not now... let's speak to someone".
Yes IT COUNTS!
Well it's a hard question. I remember swearing to myself "I will do it tomorrow no matter what"... and nothing happened. It's okay to fail, sometimes things are just not helping you at all. What matters is the attitude... going back home with that "I suck" attitude is when you lose... The more I read your journal, the more I think we have the same self-sabotage thing. Again, the key is to stay in touch with reality. Understand what's at stake... that is to say... not much really. You won't have any mental block if you understand (reasoning) what really is and what is made up by our imagination (result of being overwhelmed by emotions). Let's train ourselves to see this irrational thinking!

At least that's my take on it!

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

^^Thanks Daniel, I read through what you wrote and took the time to let it sink in.

Day 24

Objectives
-Speak to two asian/indian girls, ask for directions then bail.

So I went into town today and my phone is finally ready. Thank God, it was worth the wait it's better than the original, the only thing left to check is the internet... But other than that it looks good.

As I was walking around town I was trying to open but every time it seemed too difficult. I ended up opening a hired gun (indian) but middle aged and asked where the toilet were.

As I was getting on the bus I noticed lots of girls my age and type, but damn they were all socially aggressive. I just sat there listening to their conversations and I thought to myself, these girls are so much more socially aggressive then I am... I don't have a chance. I don't know, maybe good looking girls have more social aggression as they must get hit on a lot? It's too much for me.

I thought I can't bail out without accomplishing my goals so I decided to walk to a local museum I like to visit. On my way I passed an older indian lady, and asked her what the time was. I spoke loudly and friendly. It was OK. The test will come when I start to talk to girls my age and target.

The museum was quite relaxing. I love wandering around looking at the different painting and pictures. History... Can't get enough of it. It is so interesting especially the country where I'm from. I wonder why kids these days are more interested in playing video games... Give me history any day... Fascinating.

Talking for ages with a girl
Then I spot this woman sitting down writing stuff on a pad. She's the curator, she's about 35ish maybe even close to forty I can't really tell. I see she's looking at some paintings. I ask calmly and confidently which one she likes.

Then we proceed to have a long conversation consisting of paintings, museum funding, her favourite books, trips to wax works museums history and the hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy. I'm happy with how long I can create threads and draw out a conversation. This is one of the longest conversations I've had with a woman.

Ok she's a bit too old for me and a hb5 at best, but I was proud at how long I can draw a conversation out with a woman.

Reflections
It was hard but I managed to complete my objectives. On observation I noticed the type of girl I am chasing is off putting personality wise. Maybe I should reconsider what is it I want in terms of my biased IDEAL girl?

Improvements
-Objectives for tomorrow.
-Speak to three asian/indian girls try and add one compliment... OR just speak to one hot indian girl my age HB7/8+.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

So i'm in a club now and i just realise. How much i hate it in these environments. I'm literally just walking through minding my own business and two amogs try to start a fight with me cos i'm small. Fuck that. My wing as usual is chatting up a girl. I'm left with the set convo is running dry. Cant be fucked to chat bull. The girl is not even dye contacting me. To be fair my wing did well cos his oneitus was in the club. At which point i would have just crumbled. So props to him. Chat shit to these girls. Yeah why cant i do it. Ok just dumb thinking!

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Hey bud,

I just thought id give a bit of personal experience and a tip for you when you finally approach your target.

" On my way I passed an older indian lady, and asked her what the time was. I spoke loudly and friendly. It was OK. The test will come when I start to talk to girls my age and target"

-this is very similar to when i had my breakthrough, (wrote about it in my journal)
I merely asked a random shop worker where something was, had a little convo and walked off. I realised i did all that without thinking or hesitating. I used that principle of asking a random personal a innocent question to a HB6 (or so) passer by, said hi, asked her where something was, asked where she was heading, had a little convo and walked our separate ways.

Now i know this wasnt a chat up as such, but when i slowly work on kino and escalation, using my "innocent approach" theory =P you can turn that nervous walk towards your target into a just going to ask her a innocent question =P

- however im being hypocritical in the sense this didnt apply at all to last nights experience... that is on a different scale all together though XD

Looking forward to your first target approach,

Regards,

Boyo

_________________
Limit Nothing. Achieve Everything.
My Journal: boyos-journal-vt137995.html

Today I was reading stuff from 'Awaken the giant' - Tony Robbins again.

I wanted to write down some of the emotions I feel, (free writing)... Trying to understand where they come from, causes and why some of it is whack...

Anger
Seems to be high on the list. Here's why I'm angry.

I'm angry because when I was growing up I was a shy kid. I fucking hated it. I never mixed well at school and preferred play alone. Then I went to high school and this was where my first real feelings of anger can be traced.

I remember being bullied. To make it worse it was my best friend. I'm not even sure how this dynamic existed... but there it was. I fucking hated the way he made me feel even more isolated. It was physical and emotional bullying. Being isolated from my other friends. I remember one day when I was sitting in my mum's car and I remember him walking to the bus-stop and mouthing as he walked by 'You fucking loser...'

I remember feeling sick with depression. I remember sitting in french class and him walking in before lessons and punching me with his mate. 'I remember asking him why are you doing this to me? What have I done? I'm your mate?

I remember him saying, 'I don't care... you're an idiot.'

I fucking hated him. He made my life miserable all through high school. I wanted to fucking kill him. In high school, instead of enjoying myself I felt even more socially isolated. I was counting down the years till I could escape that place.

I never told anyone about it. I didn't even tell my mum and dad. I hated my mum because she never knew, and she just thought I was being a spoilt teenager and as a result punished my anger bursts.

I hate myself because I took out my anger on my little sister. I made her life a misery, and although I realise this I have never apologised to her.

Disappointment
Part anger, part disappointment. Skip to a couple of years back, my best friend who I trusted to help me with my women problems I find out he's not who he said he is. He tells me he is probably gay.

I feel anger and disappointment. I'm angry because he lied. I'm angry because I don't even know this guy standing in front of me... He might as well be an alien.

I'm angry because I worry what everyone else is going to think. I used to share a house with him. What the fuck is everyone else going to think? I'm angry because when we went on holiday and I wanted to loose my virginity to hookers he told me it was a good idea and he'd come along.

I'm angry because I now realise he never actually wanted me to loose my virginity to hookers. He actually thought when confronted with the idea I wouldn't do it because he thought I was gay too. And that would be his cue to say,'Yeah me too.'

I'm angry because now everyday, when I walk about I feel eyes are looking at me, judging me, girls are freaking out... If/when I get a gf and they ask about my first time, I might have to tell them about that. I worry how they might react.

I'm disappointed because all I feel is hate for my friend being gay and how it has affected ME. I'm disappointed because actually I don't care a damn about him and I've chucked our friendship down the drain because I don't like who he actually is. I'm disappointed because I don't feel any sympathy, even though he slept with hookers as well because I didn't want to do it alone. I'm disappointed because I can't even imagine how scared he must have been when I asked him to do that.

I wonder what it might be for me if I was the one in the closet and if I was asked to do what I asked him. I'm disappointed because my anger is not directed at him and his sexuality... It's actually stems from me. I'm angry because I've never been able to lock down the social skillset to be accepted by the masses and get a gf I desire.

THIS is why I'm angry and disappointed.

I'm disappointed that I felt THAT was the only way I could loose my V-card. How the fuck did it get to that stage? I'm disappointed because sometimes I think of the second girl I did it with how she reminded me of a pretty normal young twenty year old who should be out in college partying and enjoying life. I'm disappointed because I took advantage of her... I think about my little sister and how upsetting it would be if I knew she was doing THAT for a living and how worried I would be about it.

I say I don't objectify women. In reality... guess what...I'm the fucking worst.

Fear
I'm fearful of many things. One is standing up for those who stood by me because they're different. I wonder how people will treat me.

I'm fearful because I hate uncertainty. If I don't know for certain I wont take that chance. I'm fearful because relationships are based on chance. I want to have that opportunity to be happy. I'm fearful because I'm so scared at rejection I'm going to pass up even scoring a relationship.

I'm fearful because I've always been rejected on the first date I don't EVER want to go through that again. I don't want to have to be so emotionally excited only to get so cruelly crushed. I'm a big fucking pussy, I'm scared to do things by myself.

I'm no risk taker... I like to think I am. I'm a fucking joke.

Hurt
I feel hurt. Some of my first interactions with society was messed up. My best friend was also my worst enemy (when he used to bully me.) I feel hurt someone I considered a friend could betray and do that to me.

I feel hurt when I think of my first ever oneitis. How could she fucking do that to me? She could have saved me? She could have just said yes and all these emotions would not be here. I feel hurt to know she like me physically and facially and the ONLY fucking thing which turned her off was my personality.

I feel hurt that women are so fucking stupid. I fucking hate the game. I hate all you successful PUAs. I hate Kasabi, and Chief and AFC Daniel for being successful.

I hate that those Disney movies aren't true. Why can't the geek get the girl? Why, why, why.

I hate reading Kasabi's threads, 'I've had the opportunity to learn the game and shoot my load down so many girls throats. I want to share my knowledge with others..'

I hate Chief's threads,' Show your appreciation to women...Post up pictures of gifts you've received from your exs... Here's a letter from my ex I wanted to post up because the things she wrote made me cry.'

I hate AFC Daniel's thread, 'When he talks about his amazing adventure in brazil and the girl he F'closed. I hate how he cant even see he sitting on a winning lottery ticket, but he just needs to cash it in. I hate how he doesn't even mention or care to mention the brazilian girl. I hate how he seems to be chasing an impossible dream... He always chases the ones just out of his reach like swiss girl... I hate how he talks about being unsuccessful compared to his friends... I hate how he still even now talks about his oneitis. I hate this because he reminds me of MYSELF.

In truth I know Kasabi and Chief weren't PUAs from the start. I know they began their passage of discovery and they made mistakes along the way. Hell I'd even go to say maybe something is still missing in their love lives as well. Isn't this WHY we gravitate to these forums. Isn't this why you, (reading this) is here?

Frustration
I'm fucking frustrated for me. I can't understand why this shouldn't be easier. I'm fucking frustrated why I sometimes sabotage stuff when I almost 'get the girl.'

I frustrated that with the last girl I was gaming, I had her asking me out. I'm frustrated because I wanted even more. I was so afraid of rejection I wanted her to give me a verbal agreement to say,' Yes go ahead... I give you permission to kiss me.'

I'm frustrated that even if she had said that in my la la land of make belief, I still wouldn't have been able to pull the trigger.

I'm frustrated because happiness seems a stone throw's away but I can't get it.

Inadequacy
I feel inadequate because when I measure myself to other men I don't nearly have as much life experience. I feel inadequate because if I was to get a girlfriend I would be fumbling around with her... and in doing so I might lose her.

I feel inadequate because every new girl I meet I fall deeply in love with her and it is delusional. It's not love at all, it's severe onitis and bordering insane.

I'm feel scared as well because if I ever did go out with a girl and she cheated on me my anger and deep loathing would consume my entire life. I feel inadequate because I handle rejection very very badly.

Guilt
I feel guilty for abandoning my friend who is gay. I feel guilty for sleeping with prostitutes and objectifying women in such a way.

I feel guilty when the first and ONLY day two was going really really well, I rejected the girl without any thought because I thought she was ugly. I feel guilty because I'm so fucking shallow to overlook everything, not even giving her a chance because she was ugly. I feel guilty because the same way I reel over my onitisus I wonder she may have felt the same after I rejected her.

I feel guilty because I hate myself. But this is the past. Today is NOW and the FUTURE.


_________________________________________

Next let's examine my positive emotions... Pheeeww.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Day 24
Strange day... I went into town with the objective to speak to one indian girl my target age and look. Did it but it was a hired Gun. Nonetheless, it lays the path for improvement. It was a tough one as these type of girl gets me most anxious.

Also chilled out in star bucks and tested the wifi on my new calendar all is good so happy with day.

Then I hit the gym and did two back to back sessions of cardio. Felt good for it. There were a few kids so I take more of a leadership role, but it's good because I get good kudos anyway... It's all the same so...

Finally the main event. My best mate's birthday. He was pimping it and invited a few pivots out. That's his thing. He lives for the show. It's all a big show, and making his facebook look good. To each there own I guess, but sometimes it's a bit shallow.

I vibed well with everyone in the group and spoke well to my mates. Didn't really say much to my mate who is in the closet but then I don't what to say... I just talked about stuff in general and asked little questions.

I even managed to offer my hand as a girl was walking down the stairs, she smiled and took it. She was ok looking, maybe a big fat but yeah. Another mate in the group kissed her LOL.

Then we went to a club and I wasn't drinking but we were in a big group and having a laugh. Everyone acts likes dicks. But it's fun to just let loose. We were doing some crazy stupid things like puting a glow stick down our pants and going over to girls and saying,'Excuse me, I think he likes you [pointing to glowstick in our pants].

It got a few laughs, then we stood in the middle of the club and pretending bum each other with a glowstick... A bit tongue in cheek but everyone around knew we were all just goofing around.

My wing was a bit depressed because he clocked his onitis in the club. He went to say goodbye and tapped her on the shoulder. Strange... how two people can share initimate moments then be so cold. I guess that the attraction game for you.

Toward the end we were talking to a three set. And the fat short girl, with a medium looking face came over to speak to me. It was a situational opener, and I was a bit harsh... Like how you turn your nose up to someone who is lesser value than you and you know it.

But I was thinking...I really don't know, if all my mates weren't there... I actually thought maybe she could be my girlfriend. She has an Okayish face. Above average. Strangely I'm a face kinda guy and ass. A girl with a pretty face and killer ass always get me....But the point is I could have number closed but my initial instinct was... fatty....

I really don't know maybe I think I'm rated above my perceived value. Hell, I probably have a really low perceived value -definitely when it comes to experience. I should give these thing a go... It's a number close after all.

Then, it was really funny but the same guy who used to bully me at school before...Turned up completely random at the end of the night outside the club. I've not seen him for years. (So freakish)

And I felt no anger whatsoever... We greeted each other like long lost friends, and discussed what we were doing. So strange...


Anyway...I've got a new gym get ripped plan and I'm getting really serious with my food now. So gonna do that tomorrow then head into town to speak to two indian girls... If I'm daring throw in a compliment.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Day 25

Objectives
-Speak to two indian girls my target age HB7+ then bail. Can be hired guns.

So I went into work today to post and deliver a package. Then decided to head into town to continue by mission.

I'm horny as fuck in the morning since starting the NO MASTURBATION challenge AFC Daniel has set. I can see the difference, well at least in the mornings. I'm feeling slightly depressed and a bit paranoid... I'm not sure if this is a side affect from coming off my meds... I think I need to be careful about going cold turkey as it could have bad side effects... I'm going to gradually reduce my dosage I wanna be off these fuckers. Who knows what it is doing to my liver!!!

First set
Hired guns are outside the shopping centre flogging free iced tea. They're all hot at least HB8s and above. She walks over and says, 'sir can I offer you free iced tea. It's surprisingly refreshing.'

I smile and my mind is trying to think of something. Damn... Too slow, I mumbled after 'Can I have two.' [In my head I think this is funny because I'm being cheeky?!]

It's pretty lame. I speak much to low and she doesnt even hear me.

Improvements
Speak up and have things ready!

Second set
Speak to a slightly older indian lady but hb7 at the information centre. I just ask where the cash machine is. She smiles and tells me. I realise I don't smile at all. In fact I probably look slightly scared.

I just mumble oh right thanks, then pretend to walk to the cash machine LOL.

Third set
I'm walking around thinking OK next indian girl and I spot a really cute young indian girl working in the shoe shop. She's probably fresh out of college. I can't even do it. She's standing right near the door.

Improvements
Just go in and say something. Don't get frightened. Face your fear go in and spit out something. I could have asked if they sold converse.

Slightly more daring, 'Hey how's it going? You look bored thought I'd come over and say hello. Do you have any converse trainers?'

Then I began circling and everything was becoming more difficult and I was making excuses. So I walk out the shopping centre and see to indian girls smoking on the market stall. I can't even walk by them! So pathetic! I kick an empty coke can on the street really hard in frustration. I spot a two set (white HB5-6s) and decide to open them. 'Excuse me where's the nearest cash machine.'

Then I walk past a busker on the street. I'm looking at her and thinking of something to say. I walk past her three fucking times (how fucking creepy!) then mumble I really like what you're playing. She doesn't even hear me, and I walk off and get paranoid a couple across me is laughing at me? They're NOT it's just in my head, they're probably sharing a random funny moment with themselves.

I'm thinking. I'm not going to fail so walk into a magazine store.

Fourth set
Yes I an indian girl hired gun. I speak loud and ask her if they sell any electronic books. She says I think so then walks around. She's clearly just in shop assistant mode, and I find it hard to generate any attraction.

I want to ask her about her fingernails and why one is a different colour. But I don't. I just say something like,'I know its a bit random to ask for an electronic magasine but I'm doing a project.'

She just nods then fingers through the magasines pulls out two and says,'This is all we got.'

I say thanks then hang around pretending to read it then leave. Oh well, I guess it's mission complete.

As I'm walking I spot another hottie. It's a girl I opened once before ages ago. She's grown into a proper woman now, and quite tall. I remember she used to sing at the bus-stop when she was younger. She's a 9-10. I cross over the road so I check her out from behind without her clocking! Pathetic.

Reflections
-Got to remember I'm just trying to hit my goals and get the openers done. Like Kasabi said, just get your openers out forget about generating attraction. Open,open,open. It's hard to see progress, when the opener is so sterile but even asking for something is highly anxious for me when I'm approaching my perfect girl.

Objectives for tomorrow
-Tomorrow I want to get back to the compliment. So I'm going to go back a bit.
-Need to open and compliment two girls. Not indian, try black girls or hb5 white girls as these don't get me so nervous. If successful, try to add another conversation thread at the end. Hired guns are still OK.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

Hey man just been readin your journal, one of my friends has worse AA then you but i make him go in atleast 5 times when we go out, so a tip maybe to get a wing or just some1 to tell you just go and approach NOW!!! Another thing me and my friends do is put money on it we give each other 20 pounds and for every approach we get 4 pound back honestly it works for us maybe cuz wer broke students but it definetly motivates me especially knowing even if i get blown out i still have a positive I've got 4 pound back. For the openers in daygame I go indirect especially if they're seated, if there moving your more likely to have success with direct openers but look at your body language, approach over the shoulder. I see you go for a lot of hired guns one thing is they have to talk to you especially if its something to do with the job so me and my mate don't really count those has an approach because its their job, we count it if we don't talk about anything to do with their job e.g. direct or opinion opener. A good opener for hired guns are you looked bored is this what you wanted to do when you wer a child, then transition to what did you want to do when you wer a child don't say princess that don't count (get a smile can put in some light kino). And one more thing keep at it and you'll get better.

Just wondering . . . Who should have loved you but did not?

Me

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

This is learned behavior. Who was your teacher?

To be honest, in answer to the original question you posed. I thought about it a great deal. I wanted to write down the girl at the bus stop, she was the closest I came at having a relationship with a girl I truly desired.

I spent ages gaming her... I was so worried about messing up I waited and waited and waited. I fantasied being with her, holding her in my arms. Gazing into each other's eyes on the park. I listened to love songs all that month. I fell asleep on my friends couch in bliss because I imagined being with her.

I wanted her to love me, I knew she fancied me physically and I fancied her physically, it was just my lack of game that let me down and everyday when I see couples I get upset and think about her and the difference if she had said yes instead of Let's be friends.

But then I went back even further, and it was another girl that I used to work with.
I found a letter in my locker saying someone fancied me and I thought it was her.

After declaring my undying love I realised it was all a prank. And I was so pissed off. In my delusion I thought I could try to still make it work with her. She was just creeped out.

Then I go back, even further and further and it stops at... Well me. I'm the source. That's the only thing that is common to all of this. Every girl, every rejection, every potential possibility... It all falls apart... I'm the lowest common denominator with everything. I actually almost began to cry when I wrote this down.

The only other conclusion I came to is "No one". No one should have loved me. Love is an unconditional emotion expressed by two people without choice or force. It is something that just is.

Maybe this is learned behaviour... Who was my teacher? Well, it's you Kasabi. I came to that conclusion because of reading everything you have written.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

You learned self-loathing and self indifference from me? . . . I hope not. Check your pm.