| Basically, my girlfriend has been away a pretty long time, abroad for Uni, (2 months), and it'll be another 2-3 weeks before I see her again. As someone who prefers intimate relationships to highly quantifiable PUA results (although, it hasn't always been the case), I chose to stay with her so we can be together when she gets back. We talk via phone and Facebook chat, but as a deeply physical person with friends and significant others, I find these to be low quality interactions. Phone sex also isn't my ticket. Thus, my head and my heart agreed to replace the time I would spend on her while she was home on my inner game, as both an incentive for improving my lifestyle, and as a replacement that might well end up being permanent.
I now hit the weights daily (except for rest days), have taken up a new foreign language, and started on another briefly. I have also been moving around different areas of the UK with contacts , written up a business plan for a future company, and have spent many hours a day working on my prowess as both a musical performer and composer. I've additionally gone overboard in some respects by making plans for trips abroad after she comes home.
Now, I know this is all totally irrelevant to you, so here's the real issue. This isn't helping me get her off my mind. I'm pretty sure she'll be mine, in a rational sense, for a long period of time. My problem is I don't want to be a guy who's obsessed with a girl, particularly when she's not even around to reciprocate the love I feel. One particularly shocking moment was when I was with my language teacher, he asked me in an oral test to vocalise a phrase, and I imagined myself saying it to my girlfriend in a normal situation. The sentence was completely irrelevant to my girlfriend, so why did I see her?
What's weirder is I know the cause of the feeling, I know why I have it, but what I don't know is how to shut it off. The fact my heart rate increases thinking about her is a purely perceptual idea really bothers me. I thought for sure more inner game in my lifestyle would help, but in some ways its made me even worse, such as when I was thinking up business prospects, I was imagining it benefiting both of us in the future. Now I know this sounds very abstract, to create a visualisation without a concious command of it, but I'm sure those who have experienced my problem know what I'm talking about. Another problem is, it causes problems on a social level too, I don't go out and celebrate, dance, or get drunk many of my friends are concerned I'm too focused on my inner game, when really, I discuss my inner game to prevent my girlfriend coming up in conversation.
Any help here is massively appreciated, even with this inner game stuff, I feel so low value for not having this control over my emotional connection to this girl. I'm a naturally stoically minded person, and don't believe in wasted energy.
Astaire.
*Also, I know these thoughts are AFC behaviour. I should have probably used that term a lot more in my post. My problem being that the alpha and the AFC are both present, but the inner-AFC is aggravating the inner and outer alpha with his thoughts that aren't stoic or healthy.
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"I have no special talent - I am only passionately curious" - Albert Einstein
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