So,

Ive been seeing this girl for about 2 months. I am 19 and she is 30. She has two kids. I knew this when i first met her at a party. We kicked it off from the start it was great, but i always knew eventually reality will kick in.

So a few weeks ago i am sleep and at her place, and she decides to go through my phone. I did have a password set but my phone being kind of old and beat up(haha) it would ask for a password sometimes and at other times it wouldn't. Well this was one of those times. The time she chose to snoop through my phone which was really creepy, and made me made. So she confronts me about it. It was text messages to other chicks who were friends. Yes i will admit some of the messages were inappropriate, but not to the point where it suggested i was cheating or even meeting up with these chicks it was chicks i new before her and just MESSAGES!

So we ended up working it out, and now its been about 2 weeks and she does the same thing again! So this time she curses me out tells me to get out of here house and this and that. So then i say okay whatever, and we talk AGAIN and ended spending the day together again. So now, a few days later she has been acting real weird and distant, so me im like whatever i don't give a fuck, ive got like 5 other chicks lined up and counting..sooooo i dont have to put up with the bullshit from her. So at this point i don't really care what happens. Yeah i liked her a lot and still do but i'm not about to be in a pressured situation when i don't have to be. So what do you guys think about this situation? At the same time i dont wanna make a bad decisions you know. Soo...Should i just end it with her? I mean honestly she deserves to find someone who is ready for the things she is ready for..not me..Im soo far from being ready to be what she wants. Thats not me right now. Im 19 now so maybe in about 20 years haha. Idk man..

You guys give me your thoughts.

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http://theattractiveu.com

Wow, don't fuck with a 30 year old, man.

If you're being unloyal to her and you have the mentality that you've got other chicks waiting then just leave her now.

I bet the poor woman has enough to deal with having 2 kids to look after, let alone a tonne of stick from her friends that she's going out with a 19 year old.

She probably feels that she has no trust and confidence in a teenager, she wants a guy who is a PROVIDER. That doesn't sound like you.

Either apologise and leave on good terms, or buy a decent bottle of wine, cook her a meal and tell her you're ready to be a man, provide for her and be an emotional rock... an alpha male. Not someone who's going to screw her about.

The choice is yours man.
I wish you all the best.

P.s, AFC Adam once said 'leave a woman better off than you found her'. Just take a second to think about that.

Yeah you are right man. The thing is i was loyal. I am in all my relationships. The others girls i was talking to were friends it wasn't like i was actually seeing the girls or making physical contact. It was just friends thing. Most of my time was spent with her so i didnt even have time to go anything.

Anyway, like @PUAzilla said i am not trying to be a PROVIDER for her and nor did i ever intend to be. Well most of her friends think it was cool, and wanted to try it out. haha.

I think i am going to apologize and leave on good terms. Maybe talk to her over a nice dinner or something nice. She knows its coming, and probably is ready for it. That is why she is acting so distant.

I think you know what you have to do. She needs commitment. If you cant provide it then leave before it gets ugly.

I was in a relationship with a women of 31, Im 24 and to be honest probably was ready to commit towards the end. However it ended anyway. Im sure it was due to me being needy but I didnt show or say that i was ready to give her what she wanted as a women of her age which Im sure would have ended up being a problem.

I love older women and always get on with them way better than girls of my own age. I hate this fact sometimes.

@pablohernandez

Dude! I feel you man. Its the same for me. Its not that i cant pick up chicks my age. It seems like every check i am attracted to or approach and hook up with is ALWAYS older than me. Idk what it is man. I like it though. I love dating older women, but the problem am becoming aware of is, if you date to far older more than likely the two of you will be on different paths looking for different things, or the timing will just be off. Ya know...Older women are the shit though!

Why were you needy though man?

Its was the first time I had fallen in love in a long time, had lots of flings etc but not real love. She also had a social life to die for, knew everyone. The relationship went really fast and was crazy intense. We did more than most couples do in 3 years in lke 8 months. We booked a trip to India together about 5 months in. To be honest I was scared of loosing her and felt like the only way to show her i loved her was by smothering her.

I fucked it up. However I have learnt a lot, did things Ive always wanted to do and had an amazing time. Getting dumped has been the best thing to happen to me in ages for loads of reasons.

Older women are so much more satisfying. As friends, lovers, girlfriends, mentors, gurus, everything!

"Don't cry that it's over, smile that it happened" - Dr Seuss

Im not voting because only you know what to do here.

it's very simple.

what is it that you want from this 'relationship'?

what do you believe she wants from the relationship?

if those two things don't align, end it nicely...

don't distract yourself with little incidents here and there about a phone or other things.

get down to the nitty-gritty of the situation.

the crux, if you will...

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

@I_Likem_All

Good lad. I'm sure you'll do the right thing mate.

i accually clicked on this thread because i knew mack would reply on it lol.. i suspected are more cyanical reply tho !dude.. she has 2 kids.. she is 30 and she is alone for a reason.. because guys ran away from her like they have 6 legs.

if she bullshits around i would tell her straight :... first of all i can date alot of woman, second im happy being single and i like my life, 3th is i don't value the relationship enough to put up with her constant bullshit and nonsense... i would tell her that if she doesn't respect me in the proper way i would walk away - because i can get any woman i want - even one that doesn't have children and that kind of stuff.

i don't care about her looking in my phone... seriously i don't, because i got nothing to hide. and if she wants to be possession.. if she wants to be possesive and own me she needs to dress pretty, wear make up and eat healthy, and fuck alot... i do that.. i expect nothing else from someone else...

you have a set of things you look for in a relationship... mine is a spiritual one - if i meet a woman who is really spiritual i would totally be into her - even if there is almost no sex or other stuff in the relationship. if someone dislikes or doesn''t approve my ideals or likes i just walk away and dump them in a heartbeat.

woman don't understand.. when i meet them and if they are crazy about me they will text their friends how they met this guy blablabla...but they don''t understand that if they aren't spiritual or if their idea of a relationship doesn't align with mine ( what i want from woman - spiritual relationship etc ) there is no relationship....

i don't hang around looking for her to become more spiritual or open when it comes to emotions... im not her dad or her mentor.

---

for now .. this chick you are dating.. she doesn't have 2 children , it seems she wants to have 3 adding you in the collection... doesn't she trust you with a phone or something ?

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

**If you don’t want to read this part skip to the bottom where out conversation is that we had through text yesterday**

@pablohernandez I agree older women are much more satisfying(to use anyway). Its funny because our situations were almost similar(except I'm not in love with her, or feel like I'm close) Things happened between us so fast. The first night i met her seemed like i known her for a while and was amazing. I actually posted a thread about this when i first met her. older-women-picked-up-super-rapport-vt1 ... highlight=

Check it out.

Ive only been dating this chick for about 2 months now, we've already taken SEVERAL trips, and she has PAID for EVERYTHING. Even most of our dates! It has been crazy, she cooks for me, rubs my back. haha
Nice perks.

@Lodewijkp

You are right man. Well if you are looking for a spiritual girl i have one perfect for you. haha. You have made a good point. I think she gets the point that i can basically pull any women i want or desire, and i am not to afraid to venture out and do that. As i have done it before with HER inside a club on night. haha. Hey she told me she was fine with me venturing off and dancing with other chicks so hey i picked up like 4 chicks. This is when she went through my phone the first time. You are right she has mentioned about 3 or 4 other guys around her age before me ALL ran away. None of them never wanted to be around her kids. They ended up leaving. Once we are through I feel like she may end up settling with some knuckle head guy who doesn’t have anything, but willing to settle and be with her…Its not that she isnt attractive cause she is def. a 8 or 9 in body and face. She is just over bearing sometimes with the snooping and all. Im sure she probably did the same the thing to other guys before. That’s why she is 30 and still on the prowl. She really is a wonderful person and deserves the best though, honestly.

So..We were texting back and forth yesterday and here is how the conversation went..Its a lot but worth reading...Check it out.

Me:
"Can i ask you question...Sure****(her) voice*...Okay, what makes you want to make this work with me?"

I ask this question because i really didnt care whether i sounded needy or not i just wanted to know, and start the conversation off..Well it worked pretty well..Keep reading..

Her:
"To be honest i cannot answer that question because logically there is no reason why I would. I don’t see the point in trying to have a monogamous relationship with someone who has proven that they need to text other girls inappropriately while in a monogamous relationship. It hurts and there’s no reason I would want to put my self in that position again. Do you have an answer for that question if it was me that had monogamy issues?
Do you think we should start over and be unmonogamous for a while, while we figure out if it’s something we really want to do?
I want to try again but start off differently and grow into a monogamous relationship and then you will have the time you need to deal with ur issues….Without my heart hurting from the jump.”


At this point I was out with some friends and told her I would text her when I get in since I needed to give it some thought on what I wanted to say…

Basically I got on her about going in my phone while I was asleep..Telling her she never trusted me from the jump blahblahblah. I stated I wasn’t justifying my case because maybe I was wrong blahblahblah.

Her: “ You think it was taken to far and you have every right to that opinion. We will have to agree to disagree. It may be that I have higher standards because I will never be cool with my bf texting other girsl…never have and never will. I am not lowering those standards now either. I know what ive had, what I want, and what I deserve and sharing through texts is a deal breaker for me cuz evidently theres something im not giving you that you need from another female. Ive never tolerated it or had to in the past and I wont now either. Looking in your phone was invasive but a necessary means to determine if u had really changed from the last time you got caught texting girls inappropriately. Unfortunately you are still doing the same things that are unacceptable to me in a relationship and I just don’t have the tolerance for it.”

Me: “I understand that. Okay lets forget that. Shouldn’t have brought it back up. But ____ what do you really want…Do you wanna make things work…do you see light at the end of our tunnel? Whats your verdict? Really be honest with yourself. If you feel like you deserve someone better who doesn’t text other females initially I understand that and you have every right to deserve that.”

Her:
“Also telling someone that their your girl while texting other girls the way you have is being dishonest and disloyal and the fact that you have continued after you promised to stop makes you a liar. You tried to lie to me when I brought it up saying there was nothing in your phone before you finally admitted to it. Then you said that I was probably texting people too which a complete lie and failure and poor attempt to drag my loyalty down with yours. I don’t understand why you feel the need to text them like that while your with me and I never will. Its nothing I had to deal with before and im not dealing with it now. Im a ride or die, I got your back forever type and we go good with others like us. We do not share.

Her: I cannote be in an monogamous relationship and be the the only person monogamous like I have been. You said that you are struggling in that area, and that’s fine you recognize that but im not going to continue being monogmaous whne its not both ways. I deserve to be treated the way I treat others. I know what I want and maybe you can give me that, I know there are guys out ther that can be totally monogamous and be happy doing it.

Me: Monogamy is a practive of having one sexual partner. You were and are my ONLY sexual partner. I don’t believe text messages should be classified as unmonogamous. That’s just my opinion

Babe, im not asking you to be in a relationship where im not going to be. Really that is selfish and im not suggesting that. Of course that’s what you deserve and so does everyone. Babe, if you feel like I am not capable of giving you what you want, and wont be happy doing it then you know what do do. That’s just it. Yeah there are great guys out there and im not suggesting im not one. If you feel like you can find better im sure you can. Maybe it’s a guy that has been through these situations before and more relationships and would be better intially…sure..If you feel like you will never be able to trust me again after finding text in my phone then idk what & where we could get or go from this. Trust is a big part of a relationship. I believe our trust was shakey from the jump..If it wasn’t you would have never went in my phone the first time. But we are where we are. So that’s done and over with. I believe nothing is impossible. I think we could recover eventually with time and effort on both our parts. If you don’t feel this way, just let me know. I don’t believe it is my place to make this choice.

Soo keep in mind I have NEVER cheated on her. My text were flirtatious messages nothing even suggested I had been seeing other girls. Anyway I think she is at work right now so unable to text back but im sure her mind is going 200mph right now.

So what you guys think, comments?

The thing is you sound like your really like her but you still want to be Jack the lad. Nothing wrong with that at all. However it isnt fair on her to have both.

We were in similar situations. The difference is I dont want to be Jack the lad anymore, Ive had enough of it. I want some one to love rather than a different girl in my bed each weekend. You sound like you want to have a relationship but you also feel the need to have all these girls in your life maybe to prove something to yourself?

You sound like a good guy. Being on the same level as older women shows a high level of maturity. Im sure you know what to you want to do.

You are completely right. Thats my problem because i am so new to the game. This is my first time actually being able to get any women i want. I just joined the community maybe 6 months ago. And already ive found a girl who really wants to be with me. Its like i haven't got it all out yet. Ive met sooooo many chicks since and happened to meet her on the fly at a party. Its like now my power is my worst enemy like in one of those marvel cartoon comics. haha.

She text me and said she wanted to hang out this weekend and see if the emotions will still be their, and wants to make a decision off that. Hmm..

That is the down side to the game and the PUA community. You have guys like myself, who struggled with women there entire life, and now they have the ability to seduce, attract or get any women they want(or atleast have the courage to try too).

This new found power is hard to control. It makes you become addicted to picking up chicks and trying to get them into your bed room. Really it is addictive. This why i struggle so much with this. I feel like i am missing out on ALL the other chicks i could be meeting by being tied down. This is what caused me to keep extra girls on the side with text messages and stuff. For example now we are on the verge of breaking up, saturday night i already have a date planned with a girl(which i will probably cancel now) But yeah, so fellas reading, you must learn to control this. Its really all about what you want. Im learning this. You MUST know what you want in order to be happy in a relationship or in life period. You know...I really feel like i want to be with this girl..even with the age thing. I actually think its exciting. But at the same time, i feel like as she gets older and so do i, she will out grow me...you know? So i would have wasted a lot of time when i could have been doing my thing. Anyway..let me know your thoughts on this guys...Getting real deep here. haha

I think you feel this way because the girl hasn't you hooked up 100%.
Even though she better not know it, ever since getting monogamous with my GF, I have never looked back to all the other chicks I could sleep with.

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)