| imagine one day, you woke up and found a golden ticket sitting on your night stand right next to you.
you are just waking up, kind of groggy, you turn off your alarm clock, and look curiously at the ticket.
right before you pick the ticket up, you realize that you really have to take a piss. don't you hate that? wouldn't it be nice to just lay in bed for a little while without having to take a piss? anyways, you get up, stumble to the bathroom. you lean against the counter and do the morning wood position. ahh, much better.
oh shit, you are running late. you gotta shower and get around, quick. you gotta rush off to that shitty-ass job you have that barely pays the bills. or your boss is going to be a massive dickhead to you. and you can't get fired or your dickhead landlord is going to evict your ass, because you've already made a couple of late payments.
as you rush downstairs, to grab your laundry out of the machine, the neighbor kid gives you a dirty look in the hallway. you give him a look like if i was a few years younger i would beat your ass with a baseball bat like the good ol' days, but now i'm older and wiser. so you shiver and forget about it. as you grab your clothes out of the drier, you realize you forget to push the start button.
so, WET UNDERWEAR it is! sweet. great start to a wonderful day. you inhale the day-old granola bar off the counter and run out the front door and jump into your beater that costs as much to insure as it does to make the payments. christ, don't even get me started on the cost of the gas!
on the way to work-hell, you are speeding just a little bit. when all of a sudden, whoop-whoop, mr. popo pulls your ass over. he hops out, dick on boyne, dusting his shoulders off, and marches up to your car. oh great, you are now clearly in a whos-dick-is-bigger competition with the 22 y/o rookie. so you cowtow and play your role. after he emasculates you for a few moments, he lets you off with a warning. somehow you still feel violated though.
you get to work a few minutes late, and the boss's son gives you a dirty look and starts bitching at you. he's just a kid, quite a few years younger than you. you consider bending him over your knee and spanking him right there and then sending him to his room. but you don't. why?
the same reason you took that piss...
the same reason you wore the wet underwear...
the same reason you ate the day-old granola bar...
the same reason you didn't bust out the neighbor kid's teeth...
the same reason you smile and thanked the rookie cop for schooling you...
cuz you gotta play the game. we all gotta play the game. it's a fact of life.
you get home at the end of the night, take a shower to wash off the filth of life, feel a little better, and crawl into bed. you grab the remote and turn on the tv, a few minutes later, something catches your eye shining on your night stand.
HOLY SHIT, it's that GOLDEN TICKET! i forgot all about that!!!
you grab it and hold it up to the light and read it:
the ticket says in big bold letters: FREE RIDE!
then in small print it says: redeem this anywhere, anytime, and with anyone to get whatever you want. followed by the words: this coupon has no expiration and can be used an unlimited number of times.
you lay there and feel the excitement and endorphines well up inside your body. you feel electric. you feel powerful. you feel ALIVE.
what is tomorrow going to be like?
women have that golden ticket between their legs every day of their lives...
that's why they cheat.
who among us wouldn't?
in fact, it's amazing they don't ALL cheat ALL the time.
lol _________________ what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!
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