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Sounds like you created your self a social drug if you will and now your all butt hurt over the position you are in as your lonely and want to blame everything else BUT your self for where you are in life with girls. This is besides making the sorry ass excuses as well to boot. The only one to blame for your current position is you and only you. That's the reality of it. Say what you what but that is the truth. You can either start on opening your eyes and start working on your self or continue to blame the "world" and die a lone man. You claim you have no control over what is going on yet you have every bit of control over your life. If you truly want to change things get off your ass and change it. Meaning wear clothes that fit your body, act in more up beat positive was, gain confidence and protect it etc etc. Sitting on your ass moaning about your problems when it comes back to you ain't going to get you girls. Getting out and just socializing alone will. You your self said you become bit of a hermit and such anti-social. Have you ever just gone out some place and just randomly talking to people? Take up an outdoor hobby and get out more. I think you will find the world is quite different from what you say it is because you have become so focused on your personal issues that you blame the world for them.
The thing is we can't help you if you are not willing to help your self first.
Thanks for the backhanded insults and shaming language, but that's to be expected from the PUA community, which gets its jollies by ganging up on men like me.
I resent, and find it deeply offensive that you think that's it's all my fault that I find myself challenged by dating, when you have never met me, know what I look like, and or know me personally. For your information up until the last few years I did lead an active social life where I did attempt to meet women, but was met with a barrage of instant rejection, so please don't accuse me of having a bad or dysfunctional personality because how is a woman supposed to know the real me, when she doesn't even give me a chance? Also, I took all the cliched advice dispensed by society, relatives, women, and regrettably some of it from the PUA industry, none of which worked, so you can't accuse me of not trying different methods. I am not making excuses, I am being honest, and knowing my limitations as a man, and the worse thing a man can do, is to lie to himself, and pretend to be something or someone he is not.
And what also makes me angry is when the PUAs and other people blame me for my cursed luck with women, is that I am "damned if I do", and "damned if I don't", which means if I try to meet women and get rejected, you call me a loser, chode, AFC etc, but if I give up, you still call me a loser. When will you PUAs realize that when a woman saids no, she actually means no, what part of the no word don't you understand?, the n or the o?
You PUAs also have to understand that as man I have no control on how a woman reacts to me, or whether she is attracted to me, at the end of the day, it's her choice, as women are the choosers and they are the sole gatekeepers of relationships and sex. Of course there things as a man you do have control over, eg. your hygiene, your dress sense, your physique and fitness and of obviously your own behavior.
If the PUA was actually serious about helping dating challenged men, instead of insulting them and making false assumptions (like you have about me), offer these men constructive and supportive advice, instead of making empty promises and ganging up on them.
maybe it seems somewhat insulting to you, but jurupa is really just being honest here, most of the guys that get into pua are either doing much worse with women then they wish, or doing well with women and want to figure out a better way to manage the women in their lives as well as bring new women into their lives
it's not about the methods, it's about the confidence you gain from practice, it's about intuitively beginning the competently recognize the social do's and don'ts just from experience, it's about feeling natural touching, it's about reading peoples body language properly, it's about rewarding/withdrawing for behavior in a productive manner that actually encourages the behavior you want to see, it's about actually believing and knowing on a deep level that you are good enough to get girls, it's about cutting away at that neediness inside you until you are a more giving positive fun to be around person that creates a good vibe rather then kills one
confidence is from moment to moment, it is just certainty in something, there is no relation between knowing you will reach a positive outcome while doing a task and being confident, you can just as easily be confident of failure, or confident that you will become hurt if you jump off the roof of your house, when you can start to trust yourself and trust that you are good enough for girls, you can go speak to them with more confidence from each passing moment, it is not the ''courage'' and it is not being outcome dependent with disillusions of success attached to that outcome, it can be summed up as simply knowing what you are looking for, and knowing how you intend to find what you are looking for
^that ability in it's self, just to be certain of what you are doing, when you are doing it, that ability to express yourself with total belief, totally rock solid centered clear view of who you are, that is what will start to help you get results with women, but until you can think proactively and actually focus on your goals at hand without regards to outcome or validation, you will have trouble
going up to a group of girls, saying something with some courage, but not being sure of what you are doing, is not confident, talking to a bunch of girls open fine then as soon as you see a negative or positive reactions you start to believe in yourself less or more as a result, this is not very self confident
when it is about self confidence, it is not about getting the girl, or not getting the girl, knowing you will get the girl, or not knowing you will get the girl, no, stressing about this is needy, confidence is knowing what you are doing, and self confidence is being sure of yourself, if you are sure you are going to fuck that girl, cool, you are confident about it, if you are sure you are not going to fuck that girl, cool, you are confident about that, if you are sure you are master yoda, the ugly 40 year old who absolutely can not get girls, then you are confident about that, it congruently lines up with your own beliefs and everything that happens to you, you will rationalize in a way to support your beliefs, women are not the same as men, looks are not as highly valued by women as they are by men, you obviously have alot of reference experience that helps you generate a belief that you are not good looking enough, or at least enough of a negative reference experience that it has prevented you from ''re-traumatizing'' yourself
the problem here is look man, I have field tested both, and what you describe is very real to me, when I started trying to meet women through cold approach, I would have given my looks a rating of 4/10 at most, and that is being generous, bad hygiene, bad grooming, bordering on obese, bad body language, when I started going out I was learning with my two buddies, the guy who got me into this lets call him P, is a solid 8/10, really good looking guy, ripped, about 5'11 white smile, and then my best friend, lets call him M, M is probably a 9/10, 6'2, around 180lbs, ripped, and even better looking then P, he was approached by a modeling agency scout when he was 17
now both P and M due to their good looks have never had a problem with girls at all, P got into pua because he wanted to figure out a way to have sex with new girls every week and then manage them, and M, M never got into pickup and still doesn't care about it at all he just doesn't really do or say anything special and always has a few choices to sleep with that will require no effort from his end, so it has sort of made him jaded to the idea of putting in effort for something he can get just because he owns a facebook account
so how is this ^ relevant?, well when I started going out with P and M, all three of us did the mystery method, it was easy, all three of us used the drug dealer/mustache opener, all three of us were following up with either best friends test, smart/hot/rich girl, or random mini cold reads, then the goal was just get the girl alone do the cube and ask her if she wants to kiss
how did the first night go?, total AA, I still remember I spilled my drink on the floor when I opened my first set cause I was so nervous my hands were really shaking, 8 drinks later, me and M had opened just about the whole club, P already found a girl that was interested in making out with him, up until this point M who is my best looking friend but not the most confident had spoken to and successfully hooked just about every group we had stopped to talk with, alot of girls asking him questions and trying for rapport with him, he had been just randomly approached by two different girls, and had gotten 3 phone numbers, myself on the other hand, had gotten ignored by just about every single group of girls, I had done most of the opening because M is too shy, and out of talking to a good 20+ groups of girls in the club I probably managed to get one girl to talk to me longer then 2 minutes and if I remember correctly she was just talking to me to be nice and fill an awkward silence while her friend eagerly was talking to M,
after a few months of this, my friends still routinely were going out to the same club on fri/sat and P was clubbing several times a week, as I had my choice either stay home and have a shit weekend or go clubbing and see my friends, I obviously choose to keep clubbing, hitting on girls for the first bit seemed painful and I honestly did not really enjoy it, it just seemed like a whole lot of pointless, painful rejection to me, but since M needed a wing man, I would just suck it up and open for him, eventually we made a drinking game we call wing man, this really helped me get over being rejected, and after being shit on by a good 1000 women, it really starts to just become one big giant joke, who cares what some random chick thinks about you? I mean I guess it sort of matters in the sense she could call the police on you if you do something illegal or possibly she could have you murdered or something, but realistically girls can't really do anything to you at all, you can more or less say or do pretty close anything and most of the time get away with it, with little to no negative repercussions, eventually it just became about talking to more and more girls, I more or less just assumed at first that I was going to fail no matter what, but since M was there and needed someone to have fun and drink with, I really had no other choice, eventually I fucked a couple girls that were way ''out of my league'', and along the way have picked up on alot of things about women, they are different then us, more sensative, more timid in nature, they basically speak their own convert language, getting the practise and experience to get to the point where you can just be your confident self and be comfortable around women only comes from effort
now where is the point to ^ this story?, well fast forward almost three years later, I have lost about 100lbs since that first cold approach I ever did and am closing in to 8% bf very closely (6ft, 174lbs), I have improved my appearance from what I would judge as a 4/10 to a 7/10, I get way more attention from girls, they are usually more friendly in general, but then when it comes to hitting on them... what exactly have I noticed?
not very much to be honest, girls tend to be a bit more friendly when you open them, and sometimes girls randomly open you, you tend to get more compliance from a larger number of girls, so overall realistically all that has changed is it takes talking to less girls on average, for one to be interested in sleeping with me (more compliance on average), other then that, pretty much the same, some girls likes you, some girls dis-like you, some girls are indifferent
that is all, last year before I got into the relationship I am in, it was still all the same, lots of girls rejected me, lots of girls seemed interested but in the end not interested, still more no's then yes's, girls didn't magically all want to hop on my dick, yes becoming more fit gets you better results, yes looks matter, but it is subjective, and no matter what you look like, you seeing NO results, as in 0 results, is your own fault, no one else is to blame but you, 0 results is often a sign of inaction or a lack of motivation or effort to complete a task at hand
good looks will get you interest, you have to be able to capitalize on the interest or the looks won't help you, good looks won't fix the fear of approach, and good looks won't fix the fear of rejection
get over ^ both, and you will have to power to do better then 90% of the guys in the world, you are only limited by your self
and in summation, you can get 20 approaches a day done relatively easily, and the only variable your ''looks''change is the amount of women you have to screen for physical interest before hand, that is all, you walk up, she is non-compliant and dismissive with negative bodylanguage and won't hook?, oh well onto the next one, at least she made it obvious fast so you won't waste time, just talking to more girls, guaranteed you will find a friendly one eventually and she will want to suck your dick
after that once you know you picked up a girl from a cold approach, all of a sudden your belief regarding yourself, cold approach, and entitlement may change, and instead of repeating ''I'M TOO UGLY TO GET GIRLS SO I SHOULDN'T DO AN APPROACH'' over and over in your head, you will probably be thinking something more along the lines of ''TALKING TO GIRLS IS FUCKING AWESOME, DURR I LOVE THIS''
also never be ashamed of being rejected, you are not a loser for stepping up to the plate and striking out, your just a player that had a bad run, the real losers sit out of the game and never even try to take a swing, just don't give up man, you can improve, don't listen to these excuses in your mind for why you can't, you absolutely can, and the more you DO, the better you get at DOing, but you have to be reasonable with your expectations
even Paul Janka, a model good looking pua, who is harvard educated and has over 10 years of experience picking up girls through cold approach, has slept with over 100 different women, claims that he only has sex with 11% of the girls he gets phone numbers from
just keep trying and don't give up, pickup is really simple, that doesn't mean it is easy, you just have to keep giving it your effort and maintain discipline
GOOD LUCK