Sounds very similar to my situation that ended about 5 months ago. We had also dated for 3.5 years, she claimed to have been unhappy for about 4 months, and it ended around Valentine's Day.

Come to find out, she soon after gets with a guy that she met at school and had been texting non-stop for the 4 months prior when she was "unhappy". I don't want to say your girl has found someone else, but it may be getting to that point. Here is how I see it, in my cynical mind... She wants to keep you around until this new guy is firm in her grasps, and then it's bye-bye old, boring relationship, hello new and exciting relationship.

If it is to this point, there really isn't much you can do. She will continue to blame you for not trying hard enough, until the point where she has someone else and is comfortable enough to leave. And then she will want to stay friends, but when you ignore her and act cold towards her, she will call you an asshole and bitch at you. Ask me how I know...

I really hate to be the one posting this, I wish it never happened to me. But your situation sounds so eerily similar to mine, I had to share my experience. I wish you the best, but prepare for the worst.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

Thanks man! Im not freaking out, I just want to get to the bottom of things, I have a gut feeling she didn't tell me the whole story or changed things to benefit her.

I think I might ask her: "what time did you guy stay out til on saturday" and go from there, I honestly don't feel like its me being insecure or afc...when your gf of 4 years runs off for 3 days with no contact, hangs our with a bunch of guys, and tells you stories about the weekend that don't seem to add up its only natural to question what she is saying.

I think it would be "Beta" for me to just take her word for it and believe what ever she told me....if I find out she did lie then we are done! and that's why I want to know.

How did you catch her? did you confront her? I don't want to call my gf out on something she didn't do but Im also not an idot! she clearly was not thinking of me when she was off partying all weekend.

Seriously? What the heck are you doing? Everyday you are doing the same thing to yourself...SHE IS DONE!!! You are just providing her an escape and being her stepping stone! You will not see it, until it is too late but you are the one who will comfort her through the break-up, she will walk away with a good feeling and you will feel like a worthless piece of $hit! Seriously, END IT TODAY!!!! Do not even tell her it is happening, just leave, or tell her to move the F@ck out! TODAY!!!

DO NOT DISCUSS OR EXPLAIN ANYTHING...Please Dear God read this line!


JUST TELL HER TO LEAVE and then stop talking to her COMPLETELY!

If you were my Brother/Buddy, I would probably kick your ass for being a Punk!

This will be my last post on your thread, I wish you luck but you are not ready to be a man...Peace!

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

Unfortunately, this is the route I took. I still don't know what happened that night she went out with her friend to this kids house, and then the next day she comes out with the unhappy bullshit. In my own mind I can imagine what happened, but I have never heard it straight from her mouth. And I doubt she would ever tell me, even though it eats away at her conscience.

But honestly, at this point, I don't care anymore. And if you're relationship does end, you will eventually get to the point where you just don't care about that person anymore.

G'damn I sound cynical...

Edit - I never found out if she cheated or not. I only have my suspicions, and the opinions of my friends and family after hearing about how everything transpired. She ended the relationship because "she was unhappy" and because I told her I was bored with my life a few weeks prior (which pertained to my job situation). She spun this into her thinking I was bored with her, and it would be best just to end the relationship. She actually wanted to take a "break", but I don't do breaks so we just broke up.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

First of all don't tell me im not a man, I live with this women, the last 2 1/2 years of our life have been built around each other, we own things together, and we talked of marriage, something that you clearly don't understand and Im guessing have never had?

Yes I agree I should not put up with her crap but you have to understand the validity of the situation here....I LIVE WITH HER, WE TALKED OF BEING MARRIED UNTIL A WEEK AGO.

So yes I have a lot of questions, and yes I might not be perfect, but Im trying very hard to piece everything together.

I have been a member here for many a while now! given my advice, and done my time, helped hundreds of guys like my self out, so don't ever call me out like that again.

How old are you and her?

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Im 25 shes 22, still young I know.

Lots of bad advice and support in here, surprising...

After reading your thread, it is very obvious why she lost attraction. I hope that you will learn from this, accept yourself and improve, there are other women out there and you are still young.

First of all, you have been very beta/AFC in the relationship. You have sacrificed a lot for her, invested more and demonstrated that you are lower value to her. If her subconscious ever wondered if you are lower value, your actions keep reassuring her that you are. I don't know how you can post in a pua forum and not be aware of this basic. Women are not attracted to lower value men!

She also sounds like she's uneducated and a simpleton. Barely passed grade 11? daddy issues? Yea you improved her life in a big way, but women are emotional beings and that shit means almost nothing if you cant get her horny, excited and attracted. If you did that for a male friend, he would probably never forget it, but with women they live in the moment and on emotions.

You sacrificed your dreams for her? What kind of a high value woman would respect a man who cannot even follow his path and conquest because he puts so much effort and support on her? You basically reversed roles. She is the leader with dreams and you are the housewife who supports her and gets emotional. PATHETIC (no offense).

Guys don't usually realize when they slip into betaness in a relationship due to social conditioning. It's unfortunate in today's society but it is quite common, especially to those who are ignorant in regards to social dynamics.

Another red flag is that she does not express herself. If it's important to you then you should have screened her and find someone better instead of settling for her because she has been the best experience in your young life.

You have invested so much into her that you want a return on those investments, she naturally has all the power and you mentioning how much you've done for her and how you put her first just creates more damage.

Stop watching chick flicks, and letting your emotions control your actions. Take this as a learning experience, keep improving your inner and outer game. Learn to screen better, maintain your frame and be a real man dammit. Follow your dreams and bring women into your reality, not the other way around. It should not be 80/20 ever. A man's 40/60 is a woman's 50/50 because women want to be led by men. Good luck, if you have any further questions ask away.

Did you manage to get any resolution last night?

Up date:

Alright guys, had a big talk with her last night and basically told her how I need things to be in order for us to have a relationship, I told her action speak louder then words and that I felt I did a lot for her and she needed to support me more, I then confronted her about this weekend, I told her to be open and honest, I stayed calm and told her that her story from the weekend seemed odd, the fact that she left without telling me were is was going seemed odd and disrespectful, and I found it odd that when she came back she seemed very un excited about our relationship, I then asked asked her to be honest and tell me if she did anything last weekend that she was not proud of or anything that she would not have done in front of me, she stayed calm and said no, she then agreed with me that I had the right to ask because of the way she acted, and said it was not ok for her to have done that to me.

We then talked about life, about what we want, about how we are going to work as a team to communicate better and be more open about how we feel ect ect....

Last night she was very loving! and cuddly like she use to be, this morning she was the same, she seems very excited and in love again like she did when we first started dating.

What I have learned:

1# I need stop catering to her and start working on my self again! take up hobbies, take care of my self like I use to ect ect....basically take back the life I had when I was a single PUA.

2# There is a difference between being together and actually being present! siting, watching a movie is not really spending time with someone...yes you are in the same room but its not stimulating and I feel like we need to get out more and have more fun when we are together! even simple things like going got a hike or a jog is better then sitting around!

3# Even the best pick up artist make mistakes, I thought I was the king of pua! no one could touch me and my relationship would always be safe....I have learned that we all have flaws no matter how good we are! its easy to fall into a pattern and become routine when you are with someone for a long time!

4# All women are virtual the same...this is something I knew before but when your are in a relationship you kind of forget it, you think your GF or wife is different and love keep your relationship on solid ground no matter what! this couldn't be father from the truth!!!! does my gf love me? of course I have no dout in my mind that she is in love with me! but like I said all women are the same! its not their fault, they want to be with the alpha male, the top dog, the leader....its as natural as a man wanting a hot women and if you want to keep her interested you need to be that alpha in her life, Always!

Excellent! In all honesty that's not what I was expecting to hear! Actions do speak louder than words. You will have to really read her actions over the next few months while she is away.

Best of luck

Yeah I am going to pay close attention to how she act, the things she does, and most of all if she makes me her 1# priority like she said she would.

She told me she is not going to move in 2 weeks anymore...she will wait until the end of the summer.

sly_wolf I agree 100%! her parents were not good parents, they divorced when she was about 13, she lived with her mom who bashed her father and made him look like a horrible guy! and didn't make her children go to school....hence she didn't finish high school until she was with me.

My gf is a smart girl and a hard worker, she has worked very hard in school! but she would not have got this far if she was not with me, I have supported her emotionally and partially financially, she also got the job she has to pay for school because of me (the women who gave her the job is my moms best friend).

The thing that upset me is that she told me that she made so many sacrifices in order to move in with me in this new city....but her life is so much better for it! she wouldn't have been this far along other wise and she would be working a shitty job, with a grade 11 education.

This might sound harsh to some but its how I feel and the argument we got in speaks volumes about how little she and most women appreciate what the men in there lives do....women think in terms of "what have you done for me lately" not how has our relationship been as a whole.

I told her as well that I feel like we have taken a step backwards in our relationship and I don't feel we are as close as I once thought we were which I think upset her and shocked her, thats reality!

I'm glad you guys got to talk it through and seemed to have worked things out for now. I hope you can get your relationship back to the point it was before, so it is strong enough to survive being long distance when she moves out. She sounds pretty mature for a 22 year old, wish I could say the same for my ex (who was also 22 when we split). Best of luck!

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.