Good morning all!


The past week or so I have been getting this terrible feeling. When I'm not with my girl friend I basically think about how I would feel if we broke up and find myself fretting over meaningless things such as dudes adding her/male friends trying to seduce her etc. It is making me feel miserable and completely pointless as its over made up/unforseeable things!


I have zero reasons to have these thoughts. Its super fucked up. We never ever argue and the sex is great. But I feel like I over analyse EVERYTHING.


For example this morning I look on her facebook Spotify app thingy...she's listened to this super depressing soul singer. Immediately I start 'shes hung up on someone...' 'you're only temporary' etc.


It is beginning to drive me crazy. Like I say we love each other and I have no prominent reasons to think this way.


Does anyone have any idea what the root cause may be?


Alls I can think of is I have broken up for summer break in the last 10 days from college. I'm going into my third year in September but the last couple of weeks have been difficult to find something to fill the day with if my GF is in work and my buddys are also working.


Too much time on my hands?


I really really would appreciate some guidance because I know this could affect my relationship. I dont want that at all.


Thanks

It seems You love that girl. First of all,these thoughts are somewhat obvious in true relationships for a man(when he is beta). So Sir,stop thinking that she will leave you or other stuff. You have discovered the pickup community,it means you know the basics of attraction and seduction(if you don't then let me know in your reply). Now back to situation,you feel insecurity of your relationship(no fear is eliminated till you face it) it is time to give her a little space,it will also be helpful to you to sort out other things of your life. Be social,there are also many other things in your life. Don't develop the power giving attitude. If she loves you,she will never leave you(until you started acting the beta way ridiculously....
Reply with more clear situation of you for more powerful stuff.

You don't realize that if she's gone, there are thousands of even hotter chicks available for you. (Scarcity)

Basicly it's a mindset problem.

Go to the nearest big city, go to the shopping street. See all the hot girls, and think, if your relationship ended, you could be with one of these girls.

you seem to know the answer to your question. get busy, don't let yourself become needy of her. don't seek validation. especially, that there is no reason for that! you didn't see any sign of her attraction decreasing, right?

by getting busy i mean, do DHV stuff:
go out with a mixed group
go to the gym
do arts, compose music, etc
talk with girls other than your GF, like female friends
(read PUA stuff but she shouldn't know about this)

DO NOT play computer games, or other DLV stuff. you can watch the EURO2012 but that's also DLV if you do it alone at home.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

[quote="GangstaPUA"]
Reply with more clear situation of you for more powerful stuff.[/quote]


Sorry bro what do you mean?


Thanks

What exactly do you class as signs of decreasing attraction?


I've not spotted anything to my mind. We both work pretty conflicting hours when we are not in college. So at the moment a lot of my college friends are trying to find summer jobs so don't have a lot of money to go out and do things.


I have a guitar and bass so I could mess around on those.


Soccer I'm not too concerned with!


My friend has a music concert on tomorrow night I could go to though.



I think what may have been the frame-changer for me related to this thread here:

feel-like-im-about-to-fuck-up-help-needed-vt137652.html


The outcome I forgot to add: Basically I went against advice and snooped on her facebook inbox... I shouldnt have been bothered...the dude messaged her 3 times before she replied. She said she was very happy and had a boyfriend and that he had read far too much into the situation. She continued by saying she was alarmed and grossed out a little that he tracked her down without her second name and considering it is such a big network in this area.


I think I am a little bit pissed off she hasnt thought to mention to me "remember the douche who sent me the creepy message? He continued to do so but I told him to buzz off....etc etc etc". That is what I would do if the same happened to me.

You ignored my suggestion of going to the gym Do it, its a serious DHV thing, will also make her wonder who you wanna appeal to. Or you think you couldn't use more muscles? You can only ignore the gym if you are an underwear model for Celvin Klein already

About attraction, there is a lot written about it on PUA forums. There is one thing I recently came across. This is GOLD by Hakuna. He says the ultimate meter of attraction is penis-in-vagina. So if the sex is right, than attraction is good. Read this:
use-secks-to-read-your-girlfriend-vt136 ... highlight=

This facebook thing also signals that you have too much freetime to do stupid things and overthink things. Use this time to do DHV things. It increases attraction and helps you get out of this needy, overanalyzing pattern.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

Yeah money is a little tight at the moment but I will be joining a gym in the next few days for sure.


I really do not understand how my frame has become so poor! When we met I was fresh from digesting copious amounts of work by Carlos Xuma regarding dating/alpha male stuff and it seemed to make things perfect.


In fact now I think, in the past month she has drunkenly said she thinks we'll end up getting hitched, said she's never been this happy with someone and of course that she loves me.


I really don't understand these negative thoughts I get! But they do seem to correlate with me finishing my college studies for the summer.

More free time seems to have been letting my imagination wander.

And of course the situation with that douche creeper.... the question is do I need to check if he has persisted? I really wish I knew why she has kept this from me when her replies to him were grade A.

Sounds to me your very insecure. Work on your inner game and stop looking at her Facebook wall, its really easy to post something like Xx but rarely they mean anything so stop thinking about it.

That creepy dude who talked to her.... it happens to 9/10 girls on Facebook but almost never it goes anywhere in real life, people talk a lot easier on the internet.

Avoid situations where you could see things you don't like until you got such a great inner game where you just don't give a fuck about it anymore and are able to control your emotions.

Defiantly join a gym as it will boost up confidence and you have something to do.

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Kadak8 is right,try to catch directions he is giving,not the literal words. I am not suggesting you to end the relationship, I'm want to say that there is a lot more life wants to offer you than your girlfriend,go for it. And atleast,grab the rope of your relationship in your hands.

a lot of guys think like you do, including myself on occasion, the advantage we have over nearly every other man is we recognize that we are going wrong and try to do something about it.

About the guy creeping her, dont worry about it in the slightest, literally every relationship i've been in theres a guy trying to creep, it goes away by itself after a while, and if it doesn't just a quick mention to the gf usually works.

going to the gym is a great idea, its been proved that exercise increases the happy hormones in your head, and getting a better body never hurt anyone

You should be happy after reading your gf's response. I don't see how it could have gotten any better and yet you focus on the very little negative that she didnt tell you about him.

Have you been through depression? That's how people get into that, by thinking negative and spiraling downwards.

Be more positive, try meditation. Gym or some type of exercise is a must. It will make you look and feel better, improve sex and increase your testosterone so you wont be as sensitive. Good diet makes a difference as well. Junk food can really mess up with your mood.

For long term goals, try to be your best self. Be good with women. Have good friends and a social life. Stay fit, improve your personality, body language and tonality. Have more fun, laugh more and don't take things seriously. Get out of your comfort zone and just never stop improving. Do something you love for a job and after all that you will have unbreakable confidence which will prevent you from feeling and thinking in such a negative way.

But what if u dont believe u can attract them>???