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I've seen so many posts from guys who are caught in the "friend-zone" I thought it was time I decifer the truth's about it. If you don't want to know what I'm about to tell you, you can stop reading now....otherwise, grab a blue-pill and lets get started.
First of all, there really is NO such thing as the "Friend-Zone"....it's an illusion. There is only ATTRACTION or LACKTHEREOF. When a woman feels no attraction for you, she places you in her friend zone. This is really just a waste station for guys she'll never date who are there for one reason, to pump up her self-esteem. What's worse, most guys who end up in the friend zone got there for the very same reason they can't get out. They either:
1. Supplicated
2. Communicated interest too early
3. OR gave away their power with little or no challenge
For lack of better words, they are by all accounts, their own worst enemy. To add to the madness, their plan for getting out of the friend zone, like most AFC's, is to repeat these 3 EXACT SAME mistakes with 10X the might!! Ironically, this is what inevitably seals their fate....and dooms them to a lifetime of platonic friendship with the woman they desire.
Is there a way out? Fortunately, the answer is yes. But just as unfortunately, most guys caught in the Friend Zone can't see past their own "one-itis" long enough to understand what it takes to get out. They're too busy dealing with their own counter-productive thoughts and idea's of wanting to please her and buy her gifts, send her emails, roses, and other useless attempts to "win" her affection. This is NOT the way you build attraction btw.....whether you're in the Friend Zone or not....but ESPECIALLY if you're in the Friend Zone. Newsflash: The reason why you're in the Friend Zone in the first place is because she feels NO attraction for you. So in order to get OUT of the Friend Zone she actually has to FEEL attraction for you. Wow, how's that for a concept! Finally some logic when it comes to women.
So how do you get her to feel attraction for you? Hmmmmm....this is a question I'll pose back at you. How do you get a COMPLETE STRANGER to feel attraction for you? Could it possibly be the same as working normal game? WHOA, we're 2 for 2 today. You're absolutely right Einstein....you work your game like you would ANY other set....the only difference is, now that you've fucked up and put yourself in the Friend Zone, you'll have to work a little harder to get yourself out. Which means you'll be parading other women in front of her, making plans with her, then flaking on her, because you forgot you had plans with the other women in your life that DON'T put you in the Friend Zone. And most importantly, you will STOP doing what you did to put yourself there in the first place. Which means, no more supplicating, no more poems, and no more emails....until she has EARNED it. I know this sounds hard, no longer handing over all your power, money and poems to the woman you desire, hoping you can win her affection this way, but if you quiz the last 100,000 guys who've taken this road, which they repave every 6 weeks for the next 100,000 guys, you'll find you have 2 things in common....1) You're still in the Friend Zone and 2) You're still looking for a way out.
Now that we've debunked the myths of the Friend Zone, let's take a look at some of the positive aspects of being in the Friend Zone, from a PUA standpoint of course, where you can use it to your benefit.
In advanced game, being in the Friend Zone is not always a bad thing, contrary to popular belief. There are times when I will strategically PLACE myself in the Friend Zone purposely, in order to become part of her life....then, work my game from INSIDE the Castle. Of course, this is a set up from the start....this is usually with a woman who has a boyfriend or is in a serious relationship already, and the ONLY way IN is through the Friend Zone. But again, it's just another illusion...as I've mentioned before, there IS no Friend Zone...only Attraction OR Lackthereof. So when she ACCEPTS my request to be just a "friend", knowing she has a boyfriend, it is actually an IOI....she's interested. And placing me in her imaginary Friend Zone is just another way of making her feel less guilty about what she's about to do. Don't get me wrong, like all females, she does have a Friend Zone, and it consists of lots of guys, or prisoners I should say....the only difference is I am the exception. I will appear to LOOK like everyone else, at least from the outside looking in....but there is a MAJOR hidden agenda that separates me from ALL the other inmates serving life terms. I am getting out, THEY are not.
This is one of the rare times being in the Friend Zone is actually a plus, instead of a minus. So what have we learned from all this? Let's sum it up. First, we've learned the Friend Zone is nothing more than an illusion. It doesn't exist. Second, the reason you got there is rediculously the same reason you can't get out. And third, being in the Friend Zone is not always a bad thing. Especially when it's the ONLY way in. Questions?? Comments??
I liked this reading. I wonder if I could get some help.
I'm in a friendzone. I need advice and help. It sucks but I know this girl and have her trust and comfort.
I was into PUA before, but I never did it. I deemed it to be distasteful and dishonest. I wanted natural flow of things, destiny. Well, I noticed after a few years that, yes, things work like this, unfortunately. So I will give it a shot.
Let me tell you about my situation, so that you understand and can help me break out of this prison.
1 year ago I went to Japan as an exchange student with 2 girls, who I barely new, from my class.
I fell in love with one. She was very caring, kind and physical, and I adored her personality beside her 10/10 beauty. She hung out with me all the time, called me to eat, study and what not. It always seemed to me that she had something for me. So, one day I confessed, but got a teary "sorry". So sat me down to talk.
I found out that she has never had a BF, no sex (afraid of it, but wants to have such a relationship in the future), no kiss. She has fallen in love once, and that was with a girl. I though that this was the end, but soon she began hanging out with me more and more often. We started talking more personal stuff, watching movies. She would cuddle up, lay her legs on mine too. She could change clothes in front of me... come out from the shower. She explained that she feels completely comfortable with me. I took this as a good sign.
I never dared to kiss her though. I thought "When it feels right...it is only a matter of time before we get over this threshold. I'm the only guy she likes this much here.. and Japanese guys can barely speak English and we are not good at Japanese either.. I'm safe". Alas, after half a year, she got interested in a Japanese guy, who two week later became her BF. I noticed an attraction between them before this. I got really jealous, because she was with him like she was with me, but with a more passionate feeling. She didn't really say that she was in love with him until I accidentally saw them kissing (not french) under my balcony late at night. After this she ran up to me to get something she forgot in my room, and saw my jealous face. So we talked a bit and asked her "What did you have in mind getting a distant relationship only after two weeks? You don't know him. He broke up with her girlfriend he had for two years on the same day he met you. Don't you think he can do the same with you when we go back to our country 3 months from now?"
This is the only time she got angry with me. She didn't like it, because it made her reflect upon it.
Now this guy, even though he can be kind, treats her not so good. She often came to me talking about how he doesn't understand her and how often he is an asshole, how often she gets angry with him. Due to this distrust she haven't revealed everything about herself to him, which I know of of course.
He started sleeping over, but I worked on my jealousy, and it worked well. Then of course it came back.
Thus, we returned to our homeland and continued our courses in school together. She lives 2 hours from my place by train so we didn't meet as often as in Japan (everyday). It was very strange to her, so she chatted with me all the time. She called on SPAM every two days and my phone too. If she had an emotional problem..or anything..I would be the first to call. That is why I thought "He is the cock to ride on and I'm the shoulder to cry on". However, her complaints about her BF stopped, and told me only when I noticed that something was wrong.
She would make me go to her place often to study, watch a movie, play her AC:BlackFlag (Yes, she is a gorgeous gamergirl). But I was in pain, because our close physicality had stopped due to her faithfulness to her BF...and not to give me hope.
Now, her BF would come from Japan during the winter holidays (Dec 20 - Jan 7). So I decided to talk to her, just to make her think about us while he is here, to always bare our good relationship. When I talked to her at her place, we had a good time. I started the conversation of with bringing up funny memories of Japan. Then with questions I started pointing out all the good stuff our relationship has. Like: "Do you remember how you could change clothes in front of me, come out from the shower almost completely naked. You said that you were really comfortable with me?". After many of these questions and a few statements I asked her: "What does this all mean for you? For me it means that we have something valuable, a good foundation to build upon. That is why I think that I have so strong and lasting feelings for you. How many would toil and endure this pain when there seems to be no hope? How many wouldn't say "give me a change or bye"?", etc. But she said "I'm sorry, I just can't fall in love with you". Then suddenly she fell into tears and ran up to her room. I thought this to be strange so I followed within 10 minutes. She interpreted the whole talk wrong. She thought that I was ending the friendship, a friendship which means a lot to her, because she is very comfortable and always calm down when I'm in her presence, because she considers me to be emotionally strong and stable. No other guy can do this to her, according to her.
I won't meet her for 2-3 weeks while her BF is here. I tried to plant in thoughts into her which hopefully will make her realize that "Oh! He was always there! Why did I date an asshole whom I can't be totally honest with?".
What should I do now, because I still want to get this girl even if it means that she shall break up with him. It hurts a bit to say it, but this is the truth. She is still a virgin, according to her, but I know that she eventually want to do it. I do trust her, but I don't trust that she won't lay with him during this period. Therefore, I'm jealous and in suffering seeing pictures of them being posted in FB.
What is your advice?
Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHAT
Yesterday we were talking together with our friends in my apartment and I had lot of fun so I started neging her. After three negs she started throwing IOIs! (touching and tossing hair, scratching back of her head) 