| Hi, all.
Apologies for the lengthy post, I thought it would be best to be thorough.
So, to start: I'm an AFC based in Melbourne, Australia.
I'm 21 years old and a university student, so theoretically I'm at a good time and place to be picking up girls... (here comes the but) but it hasn't been working out for me. The last time I got laid was during a three year relationship that ended a few months prior to my 20th birthday. So, that's over a year ago! Pretty tragic.
What frustrates me is that I don't/didn't understand why! [Standard AFC line.] I'm 5'10", English accent, which I'm complimented on pretty regularly, I'm a musician and a singer, well-read, pretty intelligent, thoughtful, well-liked, a confident talker with a lot of great anecdotes, I'm a good boyfriend and a great kisser and a very considerate lover. I'm not unattractive either, fairly well-groomed and in pretty average shape. I wouldn't admit most of this stuff normally, the middle-class British modesty would have kicked in. But it seems my first step to recovery is to acknowledge to myself that, no matter how hot they (think) are, I am worth their time. My job is to show them that and to find out if they're worth mine.
I've managed to kiss close a couple of times with girls since my long-term girlfriend and I broke up but very irregularly and nothing beyond that. This is mostly due to repeated and chronic cases of oneitis. On the upside, I generally have very little problem with talking to people I don't know, particularly when I'm with a friend or a wingman. I'm also pretty good at making people laugh. However, I'm not so good at closing.
Since I've started reading the material, I feel like I've identified what appear to be my biggest (or at least most obvious) issues:
* Not being aware enough of indicators to close.
* Not knowing how to move into a close, (have some great ideas though now!)
* Giving her my number rather than getting her to give me hers.
* A lot of supplication, i.e. buying drinks, offering to pay for things, etc.
* Not being firm about what I want, i.e. when they cancel dates/meets.
* Going on dates, rather than just meeting up.
Fortunately, having done some extensive reading and note-taking and re-reading, I'm feeling like a lot of the ideas are sinking in. However, I'm keen not to end up with a student complex. I'd love to go out and just sarge without overthinking all this information. So, if anyone knows any PUAs or wings in Melbourne, then perhaps we can arrange for a sarging session. I'd really appreciate having someone around and about who I can work with, assess the evening with, observe and who can observe me critically.
Chief's introduction post suggests that I mention my hobbies and interests, which I slightly touched on. I'm a singer-songwriter, I read a fair bit, attend poetry readings, go to live music a lot, all of which should be great chick fodder, right?
There is one girl I'd like to be with though, who I'll admit my oneitis status with. I haven't been suckered into LJBF. We've met a few times and she's giving mixed signals (or I'm chumping it and not interpreting them properly). Anyway, I was chatting to a friend of mine who bluntly told me to back off. This seemed counter-intuitive, so I started looking around the internet for advice. I ended up at fastseduction and read it for a day or two. I decided to find an active forum, so when I start sarging I could troubleshoot more specifically, but also to find sarging partners. So here I am!
Thanks for reading and I look forward to chatting with you.
_________________
Possunt, quia posse videntur.
- They can because they think they can.
Vergil, The Aeneid, Book V, Line 231.
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