My first lay report..

HB9 - Curvy, fucking HUGE real tits, tattoos.

It was around 8pm, I just got out of the shower, made tea ect and was settling in on a friday night after a long week at work, hoping to play the XBOX 360 for a few hours before bed.. Suddenly i got a phone call from my friend who was drunk, saying him and my brother have some fit girl in my brothers house.... Which happend to be next door as we live in the same street..

My friend told me to get round and asked if i could keep up with this chick??

I went around in literally 15 seconds..
Knocked on, my friend was standing there but naked as his face lit up the room.. I laughed haha and let myself through to the living room. Poured myself a vodka to get in the mood. The music was on.. My brother came down the stairs half naked sweating with a towell around him. Yet again i laughed! Calling them fucking nutters...

I Heard clink clank clink clank, someone coming down the stairs, And this HB9 walked in.. Wearing knickers and bra, looked and smiled and said hey ect.. My face was shocked.. where the fuck did they pull this bitch from??
My friend told her to sit on my knee, so she did. Very small talk she asked my name..i asked how big her tits where, she asked my age, i asked if she liked it up the bum - all in a joking way she loved it.

My friend + brother where laughing what we where talking about, i motor boated her, told her she wernt bad looking, and asked her if she wanted fucking. YES
Lead her upstairs to 1 of the bedrooms, She had already been fucked for possibly a hour prior to this. Sloppy Thirds - But fuck it.. no way turning this HB down!

Friend + bro follwed us up and stood there laughing.. i stripped naked - well leaving my right sock on with a johnny inside them fucked her for 10-15 mins SOLID. Missionary, Ontop, reverse cowgirl, doggy, then she got back on top - and got in to the squatting position..The lads where calling me a pornstar!
As she was squatting, i grabbed underneath her thighs and told her to hold on! Then fucked her so hard for 30 seconds, she screamed so loud and jumped up a little bit, and squirted like a fucking hose pipe collapsed on the bed shaking like a fucking loonatic.
WTF!! 'Shit... You ok??' 'OMG OMG OMG' hahaha looked at me mate n winked.. Then started getting a BJ when she could actually talk as she looked paralised.. Then came all over her face + tits, she licked the lot up.

She showered ect then we where all talking about sex downstairs for about a hour. About different positions ect, she was talking about how much Soft, wussy men, who compliment her all the time ect turn her off. she liked the bad boy lads.

As i was leaving i wrote my number on her tits + told her 2 call me next weekend + ill get a hotel with her (she lived like 1hour away) and told her if she enjoyed that 30mins then she would love a full night off me.

Next weekend done it all again - just me and her..

Sorry its a long story

Oldskool

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We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

WTF did I just read?
Thats wrong in so many ways...

This is so not helpful to anyone. You probably had sex with a prostitute and you think you are the MAN.

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Be true

Lol, That is something you would do hence the accusation..
Lol, Its a 'Lay Report'
Right or Wrong its a lay..

_________________
We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

Fucking a local chav who fucks everyone she sees doesn't count as a "Lay". You were just a part of her gang bang

Same thoughts here.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Lol, She was not a chav or a prostitute.. Jeez, you guys are so asumptious. Course it was a lay, i fucked her

_________________
We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

It's a lay aight. But...

Where's the pick up art part? Your Shopping Mall lay report was good though.

Let's put it this way. If Chester, The Molester wrote a lay report here on the herd of Australian Merino sheep he banged, can we still classify that as a PUA Forum Lay Report?

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

LOL - Don't give up your day job. Fucked her for 10 - 15 minutes, then for 30 seconds. Lads calling you a porn star!

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Leeds Pick up Lair. PM for info.

I think he was relating more to the positions and how much she squirted across the room xD

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We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

Call me skeptical, but I find it hard to believe this!
... Are you SURE you did not end up actually playing your XBox and during a long cut scene during 'Grand Theft Auto' ... your mind flew away - and you came up with this?!

Props to you for the story! (If it is a story of course,) if it's real... then congrats!

Your erm... "Pornstar" display was just ... remarkable!

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Power. Passion. Performance.

sounds more like luck than spittin game, but hey u still got some so good job

Nah.. My game was Gears of War + this got put on hold for the night as some HB was next door

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We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

OK it was pretty awesome but there were parts I was bugged a lot by:
1. the dudes calling you over to sleep with a girl they already did 0.o Why? Either they're REAL good friends that dont get jealous or possessive at all (doubt it) or just place zero value in her. both of which are kinda weird
2. they came in to watch.... no homo? 0.o ... and cheered u on......
3. the girl being so open to this..... seems like she has literally no ASD at all. im not that experienced but i feel like most girls have a high level of ASD unless shes a prostitute
4. people claiming shes a prostitute........... if she is thats like zero win for you

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Just trying to meet a 10.