Alright guys my gf and I have been together for 3 1/2 years now, lived together for 2 years, we have had an amazing relationship up until about a month ago, we would never fight, sex was always good, and there are no trust issues....again everything was great until about a month ago.

So about a month ago my gf started acting weird, less affection, more moody, and she just didn't seem her self so I just kind of ignored it and assumed she was in a bad mood, then next weekend she decided to go hang out with her friends (she's from a city two hours away) and I said to her "great you need a girls night and I need some time to my self so go"...she came back and I noticed again she seemed off....didn't seem to want to spend as much time with me and she seemed almost like she was taking me for granted, this continued and got gradually worse week by week.

Ok so here is were I started to get a little worried and I perhaps didn't act in the right way...on friday she was being very very cold towards me! I ask her "is everything ok?" and she said she was just really tired, I then said to her "I feel like for the past few weeks you have not been your self and I think we should talk about it, whats on your mind?" she then said "nothing im tired" and went to bed. In the morning I did not see her because she works very early, but on saturday afternoon when she got home she told me she was going to hangout with her friends again (two hours away) and when I heard this in my head I was MAD! the reason I was so mad was because she walked in, didn't ask me how my day was, didn't show any affection, and told me she was going away for the rest of the weekend....But I stayed calm!, I just ignored her and she then said to me "whats wrong with you", I then said "well you have been ignoring me for the past few days so I thought I would give it a try"....that was the last thing I said to her before she went away for the weekend.

Could I have handled it better, perhaps but considering how pissed I was I don't think I handled it to badly?

Now this is were I really start to worry:

I have not heard from her in two days, no calls, no txt , and I have no txt or called her.

today I looked on her facebook and see a guy wrote "Thank for the drunk advice at 2 a.m, it was fun"

Now I am not at all a jealous guy! I mean I am almost never jealous! I have always trusted her 100%! but this is the first time I have really been worried and kind of jealous in 3 1/2 years!

wtf do you guys think I should do at this point? should I txt her? should I wait until she comes home and talk to her? I need your input on this.


Thanks guys!

5 views and not one post! common guys! i know its long but common! lol

Wait until she comes home and ask her how her weekend was and go from there depending on the mood! I wouldnt bring up the Facebook thing but keep your eye on it!

If she's still cold then ask her about it! Say your concerns, that's all you can do! At 3 years in there should be no games!

If she won't give sn answer then how about you start disappearing too! Maybe she needs to miss you and wonder what you might be getting up to! Get a few girls to post on your Facebook!

That's all I can think of with the details provided!

Yeah I think your right. Its best not to txt, give her space and wait until she gets back. Its odd now because of the way I left it....I basically brushed her off and ignored her.

I was thinking of saying something along these lines:

"How was your weekend? What did you do?"

Once she is done telling me I will say:

"Listen there is obviously tension between us, and we should not have left things the way that we did when you left on saturday, but I feel like you have not been your self lately and I want to talk about our relationship, what is the issue? why have you been acting weird? or is there something need to tell me?"

and then just leave it and see what she says?

How about you start thinking off the last few months... did things happen that could cause such a lack of attraction? Did your relationship become: "routine?", always be doing the same shit and not really happily in love with each other...anymore.

Sounds like she takes you for granted and she has the power, she is disrespecting you for no valid reason as far as you know so why try yourself to make things better? Its her who is being a bitch and who should apologize for her behavior.

3.5 years is a lot my man but it also a very common mile stone where relationships end.

My advice would be to just chill with your friends and get her out of your mind, just enjoy life without her, she WILL bring up what her problem is and she will do it a lot faster if it seems you don't really care about her acting like a immature bitch.

Good luck my man, i know it sucks but somewhere down the line you did not maintained your alpha frame, no woman would treat her alpha male like that.

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

3.5yrs is a pretty long time, are you's stuck in a rut? Doing the same stuff over and over? Do you still go on dates?

This kind of happend to me a while back (apart from the FB thing) I was with my ex for 6yrs, and she was kind of cold with me for a week, then i became cold with her for a week.
We both knew something was up, and we didnt have sex much ect. We sat down one day, and came to the conclusion that we needed a little break from everything, and buddy... that worked.
We went to Wales, it was very cold, rainy and stayed in a nice BNB. No phone signal, no distractions just the two of us, to try and rekindle our love.

Could she be meeting another guy?
You should get all dressed up smart and go and enjoy yourself on the town with your mates. Leave your phone at home. Enjoy yourself

Hope it works out man

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We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
Chick Count - 190

Yeah things have been "routine" lately, I feel like I have been putting in an effort to spice stuff up but on her end its kind of dead...no emotion. She is not at all the cheating type and I have never worried about it in the past but I know that anyone has the potencial to cheat and with a few drink women can do some dumb stuff!

When she comes home tonight I think I am going to tell her I want to talk, I can continue to ignore her but I want to ask her whats the problem is and if she has something she need to tell me?

what do you guys think?

I also agree that I have done all I can do...unless she put some effort forward, and tells me why she is acting the way she is there is nothing eles I cant do....Im not going cater to her, If she says nothing is wrong then I think I might ask her were she see's the relationship going, I will tell her I love her and want to be with her but not if shes going to act the way she is.

never been in that long LTR but seems if u live together and see each other all the time, can get routine quickly for sure.

shes probly at some kinda crisis and asking herself if shes happy with u and with her life and that kinda bullshit.

why? cuz it became too easy. the challenge that is. she took you for granted like you said. and now shes looking for sources of fun/emotions outside the relationship.

which is fine if she goes on a girl night or some shit once in a while.
but to go away for weekends at a time. huge alarm bells...

do you really like her? do you want to stay with her? whats good about your relationship? shes probly asking herself all these things about you for whatever reason.

i would go massively cold on her, just basically prematurely ending the relationship. i would NOT put up with her behaviour after a few days, let alone weeks.

soemtimes relationships just run their course and then end. could be the case here

Well we have talked about marriage, she has told me she wants to marry me in the past, and she is the kind of women I would like to be with, smart, beautiful, we have a lot in common, the only thing that bothers me is she is horrible at expressing her emotions which is why I feel like we are in this mess....but that't not my burden to carry and at 3 1/2 years she should be able to tell me whats on her mind!

I have never truly loved any women until I met her and I honestly love her to death! but I have always been willing to walk, would it crush me if I had to break it off? of course, it would take me a very long time to get over her, and I would be pretty up set! but a relationship is 50/50 and right now its feels like 20/80 and I have been doing all the work.

I really am not sure at this point what I should say to her? I feel like I need to say something but Im not sure what at this point...I love her yet I deserve to be treated with respect.

How did the talk go?

I know you have a lot invested in this woman, but be grateful you're not married to her. Can you imagine if she went cold on you like this after you committed to her legally and split everything you had? Shared a home together? Kids? Silver lining, my friend. I hope your talk goes well and this is just a minor hiccup.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

WOW....hi guys i just talked to my gf and I left the room and told her I need to think and so does she.


She came home and she could tell I was acting odd and said "Lets talk" so we sat and talked and I told her "what do you want to talk about? you have something you want to say" she then just kind of stumbled on her words and I told her "listen just tell me what ever is on your mind! you need to be honest and tell me or this is not going to work" she then went on to tell me that she has not been as excited about our relationship over the past few weeks...she got bored (Big suprise). I told her that I tried to cater towards her mood swings and tried to spice things up a little more but she didn't seem interested, I also said "I am not a mind reader! If you didn't tell me this how should I have known there was a problem? I asked you many times if everything was alright about you said it was".

Then I asked her "were do you see our relationship going?" and it was silent for a goof 30 seconds! she said well I want to make things work out (in an unsure voice) and i said "I dont think you are as sure as you are letting on...people who are sure don't take that long to reply" then I went off on her!

what I said :

"I would never have left for the weekend if I had just got in a fight with you, I would resolve the issue and talk about it before I left because our relationship is my main priority, yet you decided to run off for the weekend and party with your friends, that was your priority not our relationship"

I then said:

"I have put our relationship ahead of everything by choice because I love you, when you are busy with work and things get "boring" I don't run off and party I deal with the problem and I support you. You and I are clearly not on the same page"

The last thing I said to her:

"I love you and want to be with you but not like this! not if it means I have to give up my dreams and what I want so that I can cater to you! I have always made you a priority and now I need to think about what I want as do you"

then I left the room.

WOW....hi guys i just talked to my gf and I left the room and told her I need to think and so does she.


She came home and she could tell I was acting odd and said "Lets talk" so we sat and talked and I told her "what do you want to talk about? you have something you want to say" she then just kind of stumbled on her words and I told her "listen just tell me what ever is on your mind! you need to be honest and tell me or this is not going to work" she then went on to tell me that she has not been as excited about our relationship over the past few weeks...she got bored (Big suprise). I told her that I tried to cater towards her mood swings and tried to spice things up a little more but she didn't seem interested, I also said "I am not a mind reader! If you didn't tell me this how should I have known there was a problem? I asked you many times if everything was alright about you said it was".

Then I asked her "were do you see our relationship going?" and it was silent for a goof 30 seconds! she said well I want to make things work out (in an unsure voice) and i said "I dont think you are as sure as you are letting on...people who are sure don't take that long to reply" then I went off on her!

what I said :

"I would never have left for the weekend if I had just got in a fight with you, I would resolve the issue and talk about it before I left because our relationship is my main priority, yet you decided to run off for the weekend and party with your friends, that was your priority not our relationship"

I then said:

"I have put our relationship ahead of everything by choice because I love you, when you are busy with work and things get "boring" I don't run off and party I deal with the problem and I support you. You and I are clearly not on the same page"

The last thing I said to her:

"I love you and want to be with you but not like this! not if it means I have to give up my dreams and what I want so that I can cater to you! I have always made you a priority and now I need to think about what I want as do you"

then I left the room.

I'd go cold until she gets her act together, if that even happens.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"