| +*I've made drastic changes to the way I do things over the past few months and decided to post how things have been going.
Previously, I was very one dimensional when it came to pickup: I always went to noisy nightclubs and got sucked onto the dance floor, despite the fact that I really cant dance and am very ackward when I do anyway. I had moderate success f-closing 5 women over a four month span, however none of them where above averages all howevering around the 7 mark. In january I made a two resolutions towards my game: one being to increase my standard for the women I sleep with, essentially sleep with better looking women and the other was to improve my fashion and appearance. I am a decent looking guy probably a 7 when I get out of bed in the morning, but I never did anything to enhance my appearance: get a good haircut, wear decent clothes, groom myself. My logic was that I was a 7 fucking 7s so if I got myself up to an 8 I'd be fucking 8s. It took a few months but I have bettered my style and fashion and it shows, women defidently notice me more and give me the look. My other goal of increasing my standards I put into effect right away and has led to a drought of f-closes. The learning curve and level of game required from 7-8 is massive. That said, I have, in the last month, drastically changed my pick up style. I take a more aggressive approach now, rather than dancing in some noisy club waiting for a mediocre girl to come grind on my I've moved over to busy pubs and approaching and opening. This came as kind of an accident. I met a friend about a month back for drinks, with no intention of meeting women, at this downtown pub. As the night progressed the place became absolutely packed with no seating room and people squeezed in as if it were a club. The good thing was that the music was at a lower volume and because people were mostly standing and squished together it created an excellent social environment. I noticed this right away and made a few approaches on some sets of good looking girls. I was supprised how little anxiety I had and made very solid openings. No lines, or nothing scripted just "hey how are you guys" or "hey whatcha drinking." I have done the same thing in similar bars for the past three weeks and have yet to be shut down. Generally the girls are receptive to me coming up and chatting and if the conversation fissles I just say "nice talking to you seeya later." The thing is, I havent closed one girl yet using this method. Its interesting that before when I was playing the dancefloor "game" getting a girl to dance with me was the hard part (opening essentialy) but once I had her it was a sure thing. With this conversational approach I am a powerhouse opener but getting things sexual and moving things along is much more difficult. That said, this new style is very fun, I've had great conversations and its a lot of fun to go in and open and see what happens. I have only opened around 2-3 sets per night and my new goal is to increase that number. Generally I'll spend 30-60 minutes chatting with a set and then leave, but I think i'm going to try and rush things a little more in order to get more sets in. I figure I will open sets and chat for 10-15 and if it doesnt seem to be getting sexual by than I will move on to the next. Another interesting venue I've discovered is the strip club. I've never been to one prior to last weekend, my friends always laugh that i'm 25 and i've never been to the strippers, however last weekend was my best friends bachelor party and the strippers was part of the party. I was hugely suprised at the number of women that hang around these venues and since my friends were mind blowingly intoxicated, I decided to open a few sets. I had decent success. The first women I opened appeared to be 50-60 but looked nice for her age, I know that sounds a little perverted, and it is, but imagine a mother cougar I guess. It seemed like an easy approach as she was sitting alone, and she seemed kind of odd sitting front row watching the show. I sat down beside her and asked her if she was enjoying the show. We carried on talking about whether stripping for a living was degrading, the morality of it all etc. She seemed very well educated and very smart. She touched my leg frequently despite mentioning her husband multiple times. Later a guy about 5 years older than me came and told her that it was time to go, turns out it was her son, she winked as she left. I opened a bachelorette party, 9 girls, later. They were happy I came over and I chatted with them for a while but it was loud and they were all barking at me at once so conversation was difficult, I was also three sheets to the wind by this point so concentration didnt come easy. I left after things fizzled out. All in all, despite the fact that I havent managed a successful close yet, this more direct, conversational style is far more rewarding. Every night is fun, I've met tonnes of people, had lots of good laughs and good drinks. I imagine a lot of guys take the approach I was taking before of heading to clubs and getting sucked on or around the dance floor. Unless you are really skilled at dancing or amazingly charasmatic this is a trap. Any action you do get will be more so based on luck rather than anything you've done. Going to quieter places and directly approaching women is taking control over whats going on. Further, It seems to me that these busy pubs have a far more equal man to women ratio than most clubs, the pubs i've been ggoing to seem to be 1:1 where as most clubs are 2-3 or more:1. The trick is to find a really packed place where people are standing, not sitting, and really squished, than literally alls you have to do is turn around and say hello. Somethings I will continue to work are:
Drinking less: I like to drink plain and simple. I drink about a beer every half hour when i'm out and generally find by the end of the night I'm quite drunk, not only does this impair my ability to think clearly and thus have good discussion but it also kills my wallet.
Creating a more sexual SPAM: When you are at a dance club once you've found your dance partner, creating sexual tension is easy as your in constant physical contact. This is more tricky with words and any touching should be more subtle. At least I think.
More sets: I am spending way too much time with individual sets, I am an extremely confident opener and therefor should use this too my advantage and open as many sets as possible and find those whom I have chemistry or tension with.
I am on the fence on whether or not I will go out again tonight, but if I do my goal will be to open at least 10 sets. I will report back tomorrow if things materialize.
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