A part of the process of becoming a PUA is looking back at your past successes and failures and figuring out where things went wrong. As I've done this, I've realized that becoming the prize being sought after is really important and is often overlooked by aPUAs. Basically, its an issue of compliance...or who is complying to who, who is chasing who, and who is acting as the prize. A recent relationship I had illustrates this perfectly.
A few months ago I F-closed an ex-stipper MILF. Here is my lay report on this if you want the background:
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I figured this was a one night thing, so after she drove me back to my car I got her number and though she said, "I'd love your number too, but its OK cuz I know you'll call," I didn't ask for it. Well, I didn't call for two weeks since, again, I figured I was done with her and also because I had a growing relationship with an HB 8 I was hooking up with (but thats another story). Soon enough, though, I got the itch as she was really good in the sack. So I went to the bar she worked at and randomly appeared one night. She was happy to see me and told me she'd been thinking of me. I stayed for a drink, but she was busy and couldn't really talk. Before I left I called her cell, hung up, and in person told her, "I had a good time with you the other night, I just called your cell. Now you have my number." Then I took off.
The next afternoon I got a voicemail from her apologizing for being so busy the other night. Wow, that was fast. And soon enough I was getting random text messages from her. They got pretty sexually explicit, and she even start picture messaging pics of her naked (which was a pretty awesome thing to have happen, I might add). Eventually we fell into a great routine where I'd show up to her bar on the day she worked, drink for free, then take her home and fuck her at the end of her shift. We got along great, as she was a been-there-done-that MILF who was very sexual (we watched porn, bought sex toys together, used hot wax and oil, almost got into a threesome, etc.). One thing did stick with me during the experience early on, though, as she told me, "I'm so glad you picked me up that night. I'm going to be sad when this is over." I answered, "Thats a pretty pessimistic view of things." And she answered, "Yea, but these sort of things always fade away." In retrospect, she was a girl who understands the game immensely and I wish I had spent the time picking her brain. I was too busy having hours of sex with her to think about that sort of thing, though.
As time went by, our relationship became too routine-like, and she began to flake on me. She wouldn't call me back after her shift to invite me over despite the fact she said she would. This happened sporadically, then more often. Yes, she always apologized, but soon enough I was fed up and it was over. Just stopped showing up to the bar. She was right, it just faded away.
This left me puzzled. We had such a great thing going. She had went on and on about how great our chemistry was, how great I was in bed compared to most guys (HUGE compliment as I'm fairly certain she's been around the block a few times), and so on. In fact, I even posted on this forum how I was afraid she was getting TOO attached to me. But it all ended, and I wasn't totally sure why until I realized that I had become too available. I was not the prize I once was. She could have me whenever she wanted me and she could flake on me knowing I wouldn't do anything about it. I was too addicted to her sex, and that was my downfall.
No regrets. It was a great experience that couldn't last forever, and now I'm hooking up with two different HBs. Anyways, this experience has made me make prizeability an essential part of my progressing game. Vin DiCarlo has good stuff on this, but here's some basics I've come up with that I now religiously follow.
1) Never be too available. Cancel dates with HBs if you get an inkling of flaking. You'll always be able to reschedule.
2) If a girl flakes on you, flake on her sometime soon. Make a date with her at a time you know you can't make it, then cancel the day before.
3) Push-Pull, use open-loops, talk about all the fun shit you have planned that doesn't involve her--basically do anything to make her want things from you both consciously and subconsciously.
4) Probably most important: Have as much action going on as possible with different HBs. This will keep you busy and keep you from emphasizing any one girl too much. Easier said then done, I know, but this should be a goal.
Sorry if you read this and expected more. I'm currently analyzing past events as I figure out what worked and what didn't, and I figured this story was helpful. I know it was to me, because one of my HBs is at my hookup beck and call because I am consciously ignoring her just enough to chase me. I'm the prize, and let me tell you, its a great feeling.
-Esperanto
CHAT