Isn't pursuing women (much like asking for help) being needy by that very act? A true man doesn't need women, so why would he pursue them?

On my journey of self-exploration and general inner game improvement I came across a sticking point in myself the other day. I honestly think most situations in life can be acted on in one of two ways: fight or flight.

So I'm at the bookstore looking for the Bhagavad Gita after being inspired by the topic "The Centered Man Manifesto: Defining Your Identity" by The_Mack, and believe it or not I had just left a coffee shop where me and my cousin had been trying to get through to one of his AFC friends who thinks the world simply needs to be MORE feminine and everything would be ok. So eventually I got sick of talking. I'm actually sick of talking period. Talking don't mean a thing, and the actions, as we all know, speak louder than the words.

Anyhow, long story short, I was feeling like the king lion, for whatever reason, and I was on a mission to find this book, and I got some help from an older (but still attractive imo) woman, and went up to the counter. I dunno what I was thinking about, but I eventually heard the girl say she could help me over where she was, making eye contact and walking over casually I went through the process of paying for the book. Now, I have no idea if these were IOI's or what, all I know is the vibe was like "GET HER EMAIL DUDE!!!" but I didn't. Still need to work on that.

However, that's not the point of this post, what I really need help with is this: if you are supposed to NOT be needy, to have a life and NOT need women, how the fuck are you supposed to pursue them??? Like with this girl at the store, I acted as naturally as I could, she asked about my name, what country it was from, I asked hers, she told me she'd been named after a soap opera character. I asked if she still lived at home, she said yes, I asked about school she said no, "I'm only 19, just working here! I've got lots of time." she said happily whilst spreading her arms. Yeah it seemed like things clicked. BUT, and this is a big but, I had things to do and couldn't sit talking to her all day. So I left, and pondered how the heck you're supposed to get a girl if you're busy being focused on yourself.

Simple. dont chase. make THEM chase YOU. Create hoops and let them jump in. they love doing that. It conveys leadership. Be happy and fun. Love what you do. Ever heard of telepathy? putting what you want as a frame and let them know it subconsiously. Another example but a rare instance when i seduced a girl without talking. Thats right! no words involved. i just made the right eye contact, dominant but approachable stance in a comfortable position then, voila, had the girl kiss me (note, i look young and not goodlooking). the point is that you should not worry about them. have fun and it will send positive vibes, it will do most of the attraction for you.

Neediness is a manifestation of insecurities. When you show your insecurities by acting jealous, being uncomfortable when she talks about other guys, becoming agitated when she reschedules plans, and reacting in fear of the thought that she might leave you. You avoid neediness by having an active social life and by attaining an abundance mentality. "If it doesn't work out with THIS girl, then there will be other girls who will be just as awesome."

It is a good thing to let women know when you are sexually attracted to them. To hide those feelings is just another way of displaying insecurities. You maintain your non-needy frame by being outcome independent (i.e. being able to brush off any negative reactions).

It's okay to do nice things for girls, when they treat you well and they deserve it. Needy guys forget this and get way to emotionally invested in women they don't really know all that well (like a guy I met who's been known to tell girls he loves them, on the second date). If a girl is awesome and treats you awesome, then it's okay to emotionally invest in them, to hang out with them more frequently and to compliment them.

Hopefully, that sheds some light on the subject.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Neediness is a manifestation of insecurities. When you show your insecurities by acting jealous, being uncomfortable when she talks about other guys, becoming agitated when she reschedules plans, and reacting in fear of the thought that she might leave you, then it displays low value. You avoid this kind of behavior by having an active social life and by attaining an abundance mentality. "If it doesn't work out with THIS girl, then there will be other girls who will be just as awesome." It's also good to have self-confidence, to know that you are awesome and that there's no rational reason for you to be insecure.

It is a good thing to let women know when you are sexually attracted to them. To hide those feelings is just another way of displaying insecurities. You maintain your non-needy frame by being outcome independent (i.e. being able to brush off any negative reactions).

Lastly (and maybe a bit off-topic), it's okay to do nice things for girls, when they treat you well and they deserve it. Needy guys forget this and get way to emotionally invested in women they don't really know all that well (like a guy I met who's been known to tell girls he loves them, on the second date). If a girl is awesome and treats you awesome, then it's okay to emotionally invest in them, to hang out with them more frequently and to compliment them.

Hopefully, that sheds some light on the subject.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

I see, so it's basically like inviting her (in a way) to come along with you? Rather than pursuing women, you're simply doing what you do, and if they go for it they can come along for as long as they are on board with it? Or am I missing the point here? I'm still a bit confused, especially in instances like dating where you want to act a certain way, but to me, that is just SPAM your power isn't it?
Wow, this I've heard about from other guys on here as well, how does one do this? The telepathy thing that is? As for hoops, how do you create them? Also, any reading you'd recommend for me in order to stop worrying about them? I admit that when at the gym or anywhere where women are, I can literally feel the attention coming from me and coming to me. I don't know what it is, it just makes me more introverted but I know I should be doing the opposite, but how, I guess (without being needy) does one do this?

So are you saying that only those insecurities and such are the neediness, not wanting a girl? This takes a load off my mind for sure! I was under the idea that I had to be distant and aloof to be attractive.

As for the abundance mentality, I definitely have that already with everything, too much though because I often treat people like they are disposable and have trouble maintaining relationships, but I'm working on that as well.

However, another real issue you already brought up, and that is, how to let women know I am sexually attracted to them? It may be my neediness or my lack of experience, but I find most women (who aren't FAT) attractive, even (often) sexually, and I admit this paralyzes me at times. Part of me is afraid I'll get sucked into their charms, another part of me is simply trying to avoid seeming needy. Any advice on how to be free about my sexuality? Perhaps things I could read up on?

Thanks to both of you though, you've really put a good perspective for me on this, I truly appreciate it. Cheers.

For the telepathy thingy, you create a frame that EVERY WOMAN WANTS YOU. Believe and you will See. they will sense that frame and succumb to it. They will find you attractive. Just believe. there is a reason why faith healers exist. hope you get the point

as for the hoops, you can suggest things to them playfully without threatening like

HB: would you buy me a drink?
You: BUY me a drink and we'll see (in a playfull manner)

i suggest reading the Double Your Dating by DavidDeAngelo to give you some ideas about cockyfunny method (method i think that is best for you)

I'll check it out, thanks dude. I'm currently doing a DeAngelo program called "On being a man" and do find his insights speak to me. As for the mind control thing, it's one thing to think it, another to have something unfold, isn't it? I mean, I've heard that one should be present, but honestly, I find that in real life, the more dedicated to something in the future I am, the more people pay attention to me or are ok with my presence, but the instance I become present, it's almost as if I've lost my intrigue and people don't want me around. it's a very weird phenomenon. Any insight on what that might be? Thanks for the help.

The best ways to display attraction is through your body language and eye contact combined with KINO. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Here's some very excellent posts for you to read:

Practical Kino: http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/se ... 0596585705
More practical Kino: http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/se ... 6040311075
Smelling a woman's neck: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... man-s-Neck
Don't wait for IOI's: http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... -the-Start!!!

I'm also going to toss in this last one (it's about how to be persistent without being needy), Persistence (for beginners): http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... -Beginners

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

*gasps in awe* this is some awesome stuff, thanks! I'll add to your rep as soon as I can. Cheers mate!

Hey man, this is a very simple thing to grasp.

First off, it boils down to disqualifiers.

You need to get her to chace you, so one way to do that is to disqualify, which is simple.

Tell you what,,, do this,,, write down 5 things you like in a women and 5 things that will turn you off,, ex... drug use, smoking ect...

once you do that it will be much easier to disqualify. BTW Do not disqualify in a serious way, almost all diqualifiers should be in a playful mood.

Now, basicly a disqualifier is, if she likes something ex.. "i like vanilla ice cream" your responce should be something like "Ewww thats so lame!"

once you do that, you flip the tables on her.