I am having a major issue in my life right now which is effecting my inner game. Let me give you the story:

About 6 months ago I left my place, and pursued finding new room mates, and a new place to live. Well for the mean time I had no where to go, so for the next 3 months I slept on the couch of my friends house. I felt really down because I did not have a place of my own, and I had to disassemble my studio setup. So all my music stopped. She would talk to me though, and help me feel better about myself. We would get into conversations about both of our insecurities, and fears. She was insecure about her looks, and you guys know how beautiful women are. The more prettier the more insecure. It was rough also because it was so small, and I had all my things there. Well during my stay I looked for room mates. I found 1, and so my friend chelsea, and my other future roomy wayne all looked for a place. So for three months we looked, and found nothing. We tried, and tried, and tried, but still nothing. Then chelsea got into an accident, and so she was left with a big bill, and now had to stay at her place to save money since her dad owns the apt complex.

After the few months, I felt like I was over welcoming my stay. So I asked another friend of mine if I can stay at her place. She said yes, so I got all of my things from my other friends place. It is a lot bigger,and nicer, and also has a pool.

I told her it should be very temporary since wayne, and I found this cool house with a pool by the water, along with another buddy of mine. We for sure thought it was going to be ours, well the application from my other friend was turned in late so she rented it to someone else. We were back to step one, and I was left feeling hopeless, and extremely depressed.

I was going to give up, but wayne said no don't, keep looking. We will find a place.

So I kept on looking, and still nothing. I didn't know what to expect of this.

I sent wayne an email of 8 places I liked, and this week I asked if he looked at them. Intuitively I knew he didn't and I was right. He sent me back a short text,no
I replied, I figured, and then told him don't bother because they are all taken. He went on to tell me he gave up basically ever since we lost the place with the pool. He never told me this, and I said to him. "Why didn't you tell me so I could plan out my next step instead of having me waste my time!!"

He said it's whatever man. He blew me off with that answer. It was a cop out, and that's one thing I really hate about people!

I sent him a text later saying, look I want to make this work out, and I don't like giving up. SO if you stil want to do this I will keep looking. He replied, You will probably have better luck living on your own, it's whatever to me now.

What a fucking cop out, and that pissed me off.

So now I am stuck. I wanted to move in with kids my age, but I am living with a 42 year old woman. I think maybe destiny was already planned out, and it was meant to play out like this. I see other kids that find places, and I get jealous, because they are living out there youth. I am not.
I read things like the secret, and they say if you think it you can accomplish it. Well, I tried and it didn't work. I tried for months. So now I am left hopeless, and feeling alone.

I am thankful that I have a place to stay, but I want to stay with kids, my age, and people I really connect with -- feel like I have a place of my own. Here I feel like I am a bum in transit. BUt for right now this is my life, and I hate it cause I am not in control.

I also think maybe there is a reason for all this. Like a bigger plan that is being set out by destiny. Maybe this is all happening so I can become a stronger person.

Though that might not be so true I am still left beaten and bruised. Not being able to make this work out really leaves my stumped about everything I read. Things, like work hard, and think, feel, and see what you want and you will get it. I read the book 48 laws of power, and right now reading "Think & Grow Rich". Now I think it is all bullshit.

So what can I do?

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Don't let routines, and fake feelings be a shell surrounding your true self. It will only break, and you will be left at step 1

Have you tried searching/asking in a University or Dormitory? In ours the walls are always full of "Room for rent" "roommate needed" etc. As for your "friend", maybe it's only my opinion but he can't expect it from you to get all this shit done. He's like taking a big pile of shit on this entire situation and on your head. I wouldn't be sure I'd like to live with someone like that, but that's your thing to decide. Still, my advice is that if you find somewhere you can stay but it's only 1 room, then just go for it. You can help your friend later if you really want to, but first, get your shit done.

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"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Well, I am not going to room with my friend wayne anymore. I'm not even going to try to talk with him about it. For my friend I am staying with now, she feels really bad that I am in this situation. So she talked to me lastnight, and said, " look you are in this situation now, so you have to deal with it. We have to figure out how to make the most of it till you either find another room mate and a place, or just living on your own. Either way you are here now so let's make the most of it.

I go to a community college so there isn't anything like that. My school blows, but I am going tfor music and it's the best on the west coast of florida! I can't complain.

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Don't let routines, and fake feelings be a shell surrounding your true self. It will only break, and you will be left at step 1