| Let's get one thing straight -- negotiation is an art; an art few can talk about with any authority, an art even fewer can master. I'd be a very, very rich man if I got a dollar for every bozo out there who has come to me while I'm sipping my espresso telling me he's a master negotiator because he got 20 cents off a pound of bananas or negotiated free rubber carpets at a car dealership.
Give me a freaking break.
Negotiation, real negotiation, involves more than saving a few bucks. It involves getting something in return for something else, giving up as little as possible to get said "else" in return. Done properly, both parties come out happy. Done wrong, everyone leaves with a sour taste in their mouth like they've just done it with a 50-year-old hooker at the local brothel.
negotiate like a pro
I was in a jewelry store recently looking for my latest pinkie ring (yeah, what a clich) when I saw some young turk trying to negotiate down the price of a watch he obviously was very interested in buying. He was being arrogant, he was BSing, and he was annoying the store manager. In the end, he bought the watch (like I knew he would), yet he pissed off the entire sales staff so much that regardless of the fact that he plucked down a few grand for a few nuts and bolts, he has absolutely no goodwill in that store (in case he needs a favor later on, like fixing something for free or selling back the engagement ring from his two-timing fiance).
He did everything wrong, from bluffing, to being rude, not shutting up, making excessive demands (free maintenance for five years), to insisting on the store lowering the price even after they settled on a "final" price, and most importantly, not even hinting that he was willing to walk away. (He threatened to leave the store, but never took his hands off the glass display case -- why don't you make it more obvious, you stronzo, that you're desperate?)
So he inspired me to come up with a refresher course for you guys on negotiation. I've covered it before, but here are some basic tenets everyone should memorize like the Hail Mary. Remember these tips, tattoo them on your forehead, whatever. Just don't come back to me and tell me to help you because you just got fleeced on a negotiation, thinking imitating Al Capone was enough to get you a good deal.
1- Never make the first offer
Simple enough, isn't it? As much as you can, in whatever negotiation context you are in, never make the first offer. See where the other guy is coming from, and you can get a very clear sense of how much he wants the deal done. If the other party comes in with a great offer, it shows you they are desperate to close. A highball offer indicates they can stand to see you walk away. Use this first offer to gauge your opponent's intentions.
Make sure more than one person wants what you got..
2- Have two people play off each other
There is nothing that brings you leverage as quickly as having two parties that want the same thing from you. Whether it's in business, in life or in love, having two people wanting you will raise your loot. Whenever possible, have a framework of a deal in place with at least two parties so you can play them off each other (and play into the things they deem most valuable).
3- Aim reasonably high
Always ask for more than you are willing to settle for, but never so high that you are dismissed from the table. The key is to always remain at the negotiation table. So don't insult anyone and offer something with so little value, they have no choice but to reject your offer and think you are a cafone.
4- Never look impressed or eager
Poker face, boys. No matter how sweet the offer, no matter if they've offered you more than you want, never break out the smirk. That's a nice little way to show your cards, your underwear, and your dirty magazine collection. Always stay cool, stay calm, and save the loud "Yes!" scream and Fred Astaire kick dance for when you leave the room.
5- Always be willing to walk away
No matter how badly you want a deal, no matter how much you are willing to cooperate and give up to close a deal, be willing to walk away at any time. It's the toughest thing you might have to do in negotiation, but be aware of the option if your gut is telling you to walk. If it doesn't "smell" right, take a hike before you're unable to shake off the stench of a rotten deal.
6- Assume the other guy needs you
The toughest part of negotiation is figuring out how badly the other guy needs you. The psychological effect of thinking the other guy has options will likely lower your confidence level during the tougher parts of your negotiation, when your intestinal fortitude gets tested. Always imagine in your mind that the other guy wants what you have, whether it's your business, your money or your time. Always assume it or you'll lose your edge when you are slamming your fist on the table.
7- Play good cop, bad cop
Unless you are negotiating for yourself or on behalf of someone and have significant personal gains on the table, always use the "good cop, bad cop" routine. Being the good cop in negotiations allows you to retain goodwill while you are driving a hard bargain on behalf of or with the bad cop (who would ideally be absent from the meeting).
It's always great to have a fallback guy when you're pushing for a difficult concession, or when you make a negotiation mistake and have to pull the "didn't get approval" routine. It's always easier to negotiate something on behalf of someone else than yourself because when it's for you, your emotions wreak havoc on the process.
Stay quiet and make sure you learn what you need to know...
8- Learn to remain silent
Sometimes, when an offer is being made or a proposal is put in front of you, it's important to not say anything. Keep your mouth shut for 30 seconds, 90 seconds, an hour. Whatever. Create an uncomfortable silence, and the other side (more often than not) will try to break it by offering more details. Stay quiet -- you don't have to walk away, just reflect on what is being said or at least pretend you are.
9- Research your opponent
Whether it's knowing the other guy's past deals, what's going on in the marketplace, or studying the product or service you are negotiating, always know what you are talking about. The kid in the watch store (from my previous story) made a ton of mistakes, but he knew his product like the back of his hand (which showed how badly he wanted this watch). The store employee couldn't BS the kid about the product, or use a sales pitch of air instead of substance, which is the only salvation this kid had from being slaughtered by seasoned negotiators (jewelry guys are kings in this area).
10- Never give up on the core of your deal
In negotiations, concessions are always made. But no matter how much you concede to close the deal, the core of what is important to you in a deal should not be waived. Conceding on these core issues will significantly sour the deal and make you a very unhappy idiot.
11- Always be polite
No matter how badly someone low-balls you, no matter how many salamis they are asking for to fix your backyard fence, never lose your cool and start talking about the other guy's mother. Don't be a jerk and don't curse out the other guy. You gain nothing but contempt and you torpedo precious goodwill that's needed when concessions need to be made. Raise the stakes too much, puff out your chest, and any hope of progress during a stalemate goes out the window.
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