Mental Illness destroying your game.



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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:46 am 
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Hey Guys,
It's been a while since my last post ive been having a few personal issues which I thought I might share with you guys.

Being fairly severe bi-polar my biggest problem is keeping girls. I tend to go from high as a kite (manic) to depressed within a month. Of course when im manic getting the girls is easy, in fact I tend to have a number going at the same time, you feel overconfident, highly loved and invincible (quite a nice egotistical feeling :P ). However when I get depressed, its hard to stay attractive, you withdraw, you don't talk much and people generally feel uneasy around you. Everyday life because draining and a massive effort.

I was just wondering if anyone else suffered from a mental illness and what they do to try and keep it under control?

I know lifestyle is highly important for keeping these things in check. And im trying to live as meaningful a life as I possibly can. Hopefully I will be doing some volunteer work soon.

Obviously im on meds, exercise 2 hours daily, try and get routine sleep (but this doesn't always happen) and use Cognitive behavioural therapy and meditation to keep myself in a functional mood. This doesn't always go to plan and I crash every half year or so, but it's a constant challenge.

Any suggestions, advice or stories of a friend or yourself struggling with a mental illness would be great :D

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:50 pm 
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Well, what I can say from my own experience is that if you train too much at the GYM, it's gonna drain the shit out of you in some time, and the recovery rate is usually over 15 days for me.

So instead of exercising (if GYM exercises is what your doing), you could like go to swim every day, and GYM like every second or third day. Its gonna give you alot more boost ;)!

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 09, 2009 2:18 am 
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Thats a good point man. I forgot to add that I have a 2 day recovery day every week and I do my muscles in groups, ABS and legs, Back, and finally arms and shoulders. So they do get a rest usually.

But swimming is definitely a good idea, I might try that out ;)

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:07 am 
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I am bipolar as well. Do whatever you can to keep yourself balanced and have fun with it, make a set of affirmations that keep your balanced emotionally. I would say that maybe 80% + of our problematic feelings are caused by wrong thought.

Meds are a good start. For me, I had it pretty bad when I got put on meds. But do what you can in your regular life to balance yourself. You say you are exercising, that is great. Eat well and take care of yourself. Remember that Bi-polar was inherent in our ancestors so its not like a freak mutation. Somehow our ancestors survived without meds.

My point is, I know parts of it are tough, but here are so many things that are good at the same time. I never thought I could be optimistic when I was "depressed" but it is just thoughts.

Unlike most bipolar people, you and I have NLP, hypnosis, EMDR, and CBT. I'm sorry to say this but most bipolar can't think straight enough to keep a conversation, so we are doing well. (Coming to think of it I had trouble holding conversations too, oh well.)

The further I go into bipolar the more control of it I have. Set a goal and work towards it. Do you want to be off meds? You can do that with the right mindset. Also: Don't let anyone try to convince you that this "condition" is debilitating, it is YOU that makes it debilitating. You choose the way you think, the way you THINK is the way you feel. It goes like this:

Bio-Chem--->Feeling--->Thought--->Feeling etc...

Hope this helps

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All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. -- Buddha (the playa)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:38 am 
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Cheers man, Ive recently found out how important the power of thoughts really are, im looking further into CBT and NLP I might also try EMDR.

Something you might find helpful, Ive just decided to start amplifying my bad traits, so they become funny, when pulled off correctly. So I can do parodies, I think a lot of comedians do this :)

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 7:32 pm 
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hey man, that sucks. I can kind of relate, I have clinical depression, or major depressive disorder. But seeing a psychiatrist is a great start, and knowing that feelings are just feelings and not anything real is a good place to start.

Theres a book called "feeling good", its a cognitive behavioral therapy based book, it works wonders. I just read the first few chapters and I haven't had an episode in 6 months.

What helps me is to know what makes me uncomfortable and depressed, and work against it before I have a chance to think about it. Physically, or emotionally. Like, if I see my ex-gf I could get super depressed, but I counteract it by saying that the feelings I feel are not based on reality, and there are other girls out there. To make this true, I sarge a bit to look for someone, and better my life in the areas that are making me feel uncomfortable.

The last thing that helps me is to know that I am independent. I used to hide behind God, my parents, even my girlfriend at the time to help me through it. It destroyed me. God didn't do anything, my parents got frustrated, my girlfriend left me. Not to say they aren't valuable resources, it's just that you shouldn't count on them. You can do allot more than you think. Working on my independence has been by far the most beneficial for me.

But, of course, I'm just regurgitating my own experiences. Take that works for you. Hope I could be of some help.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 3:31 am 
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My recently ex-wife is bi-polar....I have to say it has been the hardest 5 years of my life. One minute she is fun, loving, and happy then the very next second she's set off by the smallest thing in the world. We fought a lot, she has it set in her mind that I'm the Main reason we failed (she takes very little blame in our marriage).

Is this normal for people who are bi-polar? Do you guys feel that other people are the ones that are in the wrong and not you?

Our whole marriage was a roller coaster ride and I had to cater to her needs all the time which was impossible for me to be an Alpha Male. In fact, I had turned into a very submissive Beta male because I didn't want to upset her.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:38 am 
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honestly yeah i blame my mother a lot. my bi-polar made me want to be the opposite because my own sister and brother were having friends and doing things while i was staying at home. i just felt better not doing what they did and only when i was away from my brother did i want these things i missed out on. my mother was the ultimate reason, because i got hit by a car at 21, got a settlement, and she spent it all behind my back. i was not going to go back to work knowing she owed me that much and i was charged rent, once that was all paid up i was in no condition to go back to work and started getting in the system. it wasnt until just over a year ago that i wanted to change my life, but i really don't want to show my pride around my mother.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:39 am 
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and i actually don't take meds for mine. because my mother would throw it in my face that i need a medicine over some stupid stuff like not cleaning up a room or not wanting to go up and see my grandmother, but even before this she's done it all adult life. i just want to recover the hard way or just deal with it.



also i heard bi-polar meds can affect your sex drive. i don't need that. if i ever do take a med it will have to be when i am completely on my own and away from my mother's shadow so she won't even know whats going on.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:54 am 
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working out is a good thing. Keeps u frmo going insane thinking bout someone ( to bad it never lasts too long ) ahah xD


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:43 am 
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One of my best friends who is a wing that I'm training is bipolar. He is a natural, but lost his game between graduating high school and college due to some serious personal trauma. He's been bipolar as long as I've known him.

He just recently crashed. A chick online tricked him into giving her money. We all told him it was a scam. He didn't listen. So he drove to Jersey (5 states away from home) and didn't tell anyone.

He took his dog with to show off to her. He doesn't have a job or money. He doesn't have a cell phone. His mom called me looking for him cuz I was the last person to see him, and last time he got lost he ended up in the hood getting robbed. So we went looking for him in the hood with the cops.

Turned out he ended up getting to Jersey on the little money he had. He found out the address the girl gave him was a fake address, and he had a melt down. He was stranded for a day. The cops found him and his folks had to wire him money so he could drive home. It was about $600.

When he got back he was really depressed and looking bad. That's when I started training him. He was finally humble enough to listen to me, and had seen the changes in my life, so he wanted in. I think the best way to get over a girl is to find another, so we got started right away. I've been training him for 2 weeks almost every day, and he's almost starting to get better than me. I gotta say, I'm proud of him.

Still he needs alot of extra help with all of this. I know it's going to be a real long term thing for both of us. He's down for it, so I am too. I can't wait to see the day when the guy who got picked on and called a "retard" his whole life is getting pussy like Mystery!

He also has some form of mental retardation. He pretty much has the mind of a 12 year old in a 30 year old body. I don't know what the disorder is because I never asked out of respect, but it's obvious to everyone he's not just bipolar. I only know about the bipolar because he confided in me once about it. I think he has severe ADHD as well as his severe bipolar.

He's on meds, but they really fuck up his head. He gets tired and dizzy all the time and says he has heart problems and breathing problems.


Like i said, he's an ex-natural. In high school he dated 30 women and fucked 3 of them. Now, he has had no dates up until this year when I started training him. I was the opposite. I had no game in high school. Now I fuck strippers (for free lol).

I love this guy like a brother. We've been friends since I was 16 and he was 18. What can I do to help him, not just with his game, but with his life? I have ADHD and depression, so I can relate a bit to the mental illness he has, but his is really severe. It makes it really hard for him to be taught stuff. I'm working on teaching him some simple NLP to use on himself and some meditation techniques. What do you guys think I can do to help him?

You guys are awesome for bringing this up and being willing to talk about it. I know it's a really private and personal thing. Mad respect for you all!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:57 pm 
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Being bipolar really sucks. I, too, have felt the cold hand of depression squeezing the life out of my manic episodes.

I have to say, from what a lot of you say I'm kind of jealous. Six months without a meltdown? That's like eternity. My mood swings are immediate and much more frequent. I constantly ride an invisible roller coaster which soars up to the sky, then plunges at lightning speed deep within the earth. We're talking day to day, hour to hour and even moment to moment changes.

One thing that has helped me a lot in the past few months, is the book "A New Earth", by Eckhart Tolle. Of course no book is going to change the physical chemical imbalance within your body that makes life so interesting, but it's like LokeAlive said above. The physical imbalance may create a sensation within your body, but it is your own thoughts that will feed the depression. You have to learn to observe the sensation from a distance, before it is allowed to consume your thoughts. You have to cut it off at the head.

Eckhart Tolle describes it as the "pain body", an entity that lives within you and feeds on negative emotion, which is created by negative thought. The pain body will show itself anytime, without warning. The trick is to recognize the negative feelings as not your own. You are not the feelings, you are the one who is feeling them. You are not the thoughts in your head, you are the one who is thinking them. The you that is really you is deeper and more encompassing than any of these things. You are not the thoughts, feelings, emotions or sensations that you experience. You are the container in which those thoughts, feelings, emotions or sensations manifest. This gives you the power to separate yourself from the negative influences of the pain body before it is allowed to consume your life.

The best example I can give comes straight from the book. Mr. Tolle said that when the pain body manifests, you have to recognize it as the pain body. The pain body can be recognized by a sudden influx of negative emotion, and if not recognized and cut off it will influence you to think of only negative things, delighting in your misery. The more negative your thoughts are, the worse you feel, and the pain body will feast. Once you learn to recognize the pain body when it shows itself, it loses its power to influence your thoughts, thus being unable to feed on your unhappiness, and eventually will starve to death.

Your assignment for the day is to find your pain body. When you feel sad, don't let the sadness become you, or do not let yourself become the sadness. Feel the sadness, without filtering it through egoic perception. Concentrate on experiencing the physical sensation of sadness within you, without thinking about why you're sad or what is making you so depressed. Rather than telling yourself "I am sad", you separate yourself from the sadness and recognize that although there is sadness within you, that sadness cannot affect the essence of who you are. If you take away all the thoughts, emotions, and sensations that you experience, negative or otherwise, you are left with the true "you". You are what lies behind the thoughts, and are indescribable. You are the spark of life within your body. You are not the body.

Sorry for re-writing the whole book here, but I love Eckhart Tolle and the wisdom that man bestowed on me has helped even me to lead a more balanced life, without meds of any kind (unless you count pot, which I normally do!)

I highly recommend this book to everyone who struggles with any kind of depression, be it manic depression or just depression. Utilizing the knowledge gleaned from "A New Earth", I have learned to accept the manic, the depressive, and everything in between. Although I may not be able to control the emotions that my body feels, I can allow my body to feel those emotions without feeding the pain body with my negative thoughts.

I was able to download "A New Earth" for free, in audiobook form, from archive.org... I even think it is a legal copy, as Oprah was giving it away at one time. I love the audiobook because it is read by Eckhart Tolle himself, and that man speaks directly to the soul. Check it out, it's amazing.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:59 pm 
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I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2003, my Junior year of college. It was a rather traumatic experience as I ended up on the wrong end of a loaded gun (a cop's gun), which ultimately led me to be incarcerated in the county jail here. They fed me meds, food, and let my crazy parents visit me over the 4 months I was there. I am grateful I was not shot to death the morning of my arrest.

After my release, I avoided alcohol and drugs for the most part. I graduated college with my Bachelor's degree in 2004. I made the mistake of mixing my medications with alcohol and other drugs on occasion though, which was like putting gasoline on a forest fire so to speak. I ended up going to rehabilitation (rehab) a couple times and spending the evening in the county jail once or twice.

I discovered NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness), which helped a lot. I became a peer-to-peer mentor for them. This helped with my own illness. My psychiatrist found that Abilify helped my moods with the Lithium and Trileptal. I go to therapy too. Just recently, in the last year and a half, I was caught by the local police for a misdemeanor "drunk in public" and hauled off to jail again. This happened during the middle of the day and they decided I was unable to control myself. (I get nervous around cops with their utility belts full of weapons and all.)

This led me to a 12 Step program. I go to meetings nowadays and have avoided drugs (especially alcohol) ever since. It is very difficult though. What works for me may not work for others:

-I go to 12 Step meetings about 4-5+ times a week and work a 12 Step program
-I avoid drugs at all costs including parties that involve people using drugs
-I take my meds as directed
-I learn about my disease and take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually

Sometimes I wish I could get laid more often. I had 2 lays when I was diagnosed, and have managed to rack up about 50+ girls/lays in about 9 or so years though. I'd say I'm doing pretty well. Others may beg to differ though. Fuck them. They don't have to deal with the severe crippling affects of mania and depression that we do. Go at your own pace. Listen to the doctors more than the mother fuckers trying to shove drugs down your throat because it's "cool" and they make $$$ from it.

That's just my 2 cents...


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