| ok, so here are some thoughts man, lets see if some of this seems familiar,
point 1) getting the girl to stop: two most important factors, eye contact, and the words excuse me (especially if you don't have eye contact to begin with), use your body language to lead her into comming to a full stop, once you have eye contact just stop moving and hold it, if there is enough intent behind what you are doing, she will stop, this no word of a lie pretty much works 100% of the time (there are most likely exceptions, nothing is absolute)
point 2) the five typical reactions past open and reckognizing them: fight, flight, confusion, good response (hooked and compliant), dis-interest (non compliant), when a girl is nervous to a high degree adrenaline will start to run through her body, in these cases this is usually due to her finding you either very attractive, or when she views you as a threat in some way (could be a threat to her safety, or even a threat to her current emotional state), the common thing assosiated with this is nervous/anxious body language and comes with the two obvious behaviors assosiated with the term fight or flight, the girl either becomes somewhat agressive and starts to challenge you or enters a panic like state and starts trying to break rapport and end the conversation
the fight response: some typical reactions from the fight response would be, ''how many girls have you used this on today?'', ''why are you talking to me?'', ''that seems like a line?'', ''are you a player or something?'', ''what are you doing?'' and a long list of other shit tests or congruence tests or what ever you want to call them that will most likely be delivered with a tone that is challenging (it breaks rapport)
the flight response: some typical reactions from the flight response would be, ''sorry I have to go'', '' sorry I have a boyfriend'', ''sorry I don't really know you'', ''well.. it was nice to meet you'', ''sorry but im late for...'' and a long list of other objections that will get in the way, these are usually delivered with a sense of urgency like she has to leave right away, the body language is uneasy and nervous and it will seem like she is constantly trying to get away, often times girls get flustered when speaking when they are in this mode
the confused response: some typical reactions from the confused response would be ''o...k...?'', ''why are you talking to me?'', ''do you do this often?'', ''thanks?'' the confused reaction is pretty self explanitory, the girl is not really using a challenging tone, it is a tone and body language that reflects confusion
the good response (hooked and compliant): speaks for it's self, the girl has positive body language, is attentive to what you are saying, hooks without becomming agressive or dissmissive, often getting giggly or quiet, tries to invest in the interaction and is compliant, shows an interest in you
the dis-interested response (non-compliant): also fairly easy to make out, negative body language, unwilling to invest in even the smallest ways (sometimes to the extreme of being totally non-responsive, just plain and simple ignores you like you never spoke with her), totally non-compliant, usually accompanied with bland tonality that stresses dis-interest, these girls will plain and simple wont hook or invest
point 3) dealing with the 5 responses: there are many different strategies that alot of different guys use to deal with these responses, a good goal to shoot for is to make women comfortable with you on some level as fast as possible during the approach, this will help reduce the flight or fight responses you are getting at the start of your interactions and funnel most of your interactions into the other three categories, this as well as being congruent on the approach can help make the interactions go more smoothly and ideally end up mostly in the good response/dis-interest response categories (although you will always see all types of different responses it is fairly random), being able to mitigate the randomness however will allow you to be more efficent with screening beforehand (you can reckognize the difference between resistance and dis-interest easier)
fight: some usefull ideas to help handle this type of reaction are to try to approach in a non threatening way, come in at an energy level that is somewhat close to what the girl is at and then pace and lead until she is in a calmer state (this can be pretty tricky, but if she seems normal comming in super crazy high energy might freak her out and make her nervous, where as if she is partying and in party mode, comming in too low energy might bring her down and cause her to be dismissive and view you as a threat to that fun), it is also fairly useful to have a dis-qualifer or two ready just to throw her off, it is amazing how quick a dis-qualifier can break a strong thought pattern, even if it is delivered in a completely illogical way, in a bar setting alot of this ''bitch shield'' you get will be due to girls feeling like their emotional state will be ruined if they invest in a new interaction, this is because after they have been approached by a few needy guys that have partaken in some liquid courage, (courage is not the same as confidence btw), mostly these guys tend to have somewhat impaired social skills for obvious reasons with a nice layer of neediness on top, after a while it will get annoying for them, when you are in a setting conducive to girls being approached regularily a good way to lower this sort of reaction is to simply come off as non-needy, approach and use all the previously suggested ideas but break rapport (specifically leave the set) soon after hooking past open, doing so will make re-opening easier and the girls won't feel like you will get all needy and annoying (you have shown the ability to walk away)
flight: some usefull ideas to help handle this type of reaction are to try to approach in a non threatening way, pace and lead the vibe (energy level etc.), get her to laugh, empathise with her discomfort and frame the interaction in a way that shows social inteligence (basically address that it is random/weird for a stranger to randomly approach out of no where), time constraints (easy as just one second or just one more thing I want to know, basically just use words that frame the interaction in a way it seems like you are just about to leave, also rocking in and out of set with your body language, hard to explain in text, but basically make it seem like you are always considering walking away), the normal common things to help try to calm a girl down and make her feel comfortable talking with you, the most important thing to focus on with dealing with these girls is persistance and frame control, hook in and plow, just talk talk talk, don't give them a chance to leave, ask them questions, talk over them if you have to, just keep talking until they calm down, be assertive and pro-active, keep things light and get her talking, ignore her objections, plow through them, hold the frame, you just want to hold on until she loosens up
confused:this one I crack up to the approach being lacking in intent, you are either poorly expressing your intentions, comming off incongruent or she doesn't speak the same language (basically tell her why you are talking to her and be honest, the more genuine you are the better)
good response (compliant and hooked): make a connection (gain investment), test compliance, offer isolation (in other words, get to know her, see if she is cool with you touching her, ask her out)
dis-interest (non-compliant): test compliance, gain investment, once you see she is non compliant and not willing to invest, don't waste your time, walk away, onto the next one
side note: after opening alot of girls it will become much much easier to see the difference between dis-interest and resistance, if you are not sure at this point it is a good practise to try to stay in set until absolute blow out, once you have past the flight or fight threashold a few times you will begin to see the difference for yourself
point 4) ''I HAVE A BOYFRIEND'': this can mean alot, here are some ideas on ways to handle this objection
-ok (continue)
-are you happy with him?
-that's ok, we don't have to tell anyone
-what's his name?
-cool, I have a girlfriend
-is he a real boyfriend?
-that's great, I don't want to be your boyfriend (framed as you are looking for sex and nothing more)
-that's great, I'm not looking for anything serious
if you pick a stock line from the above, try to use the line that is most congruent to your situation, the key to direct game is it is not about gimmicks, it is simply about directly communicating in an authentic way, you can use your understanding of social skills to help tighten everything up and present yourself better, but you should still strive to be as honest and authentic as possible, the boyfriend objection can be real and a boyfriend can exist or it can simply be a girls auto response because she is anxious and wants out of the situation, just hold your frame until you can lower her level of anxiety (asd), even if the girl has a boyfriend it really is not that big of a deal (unless you hold yourself to a moral standard that does not agree with sleeping with girls that have boyfriends/husbands)
point 5) asd and ways to help lower it:
-discression (as well as expressing a want to be secretive, you can express the idea that you might never see each other again)
-sexually non-judgemental attitude (frame sex as no big deal etc., don't even joke about sluts etc., stand up for girls if you see them being judged for their sexuality, also getting into the whole player vs sluts double standard debate can help with this one)
-non-neediness
-wrap up (this comes later on when closing)
-future projection
-screen her for being clean for sti's (passively holding the frame that you are clean of sti's)
-screen her for being one of those girls that uses guys for sex or relate to her with a story that shows a willingness to commit long term on your part (kills player vibe, being more congruent can help with this also if you frequently see this as a sticking point)
point 6) easy way to screen for non-compliance *how to spot a waste of time*:
-will she let you touch her in a meaningful way (kino with intentions)
-will she invest in the interaction with you (basically will she qualify *talk about herself*)
-will she be alone with you (three flakes in a row, assume she is a waste of time, mentally next her as she may be attached to another guy and want a booty call months down the road or what ever, don't get needy and count on it, but don't write her off either, just stay uninvested and ping your time wasters once in a while to see if interest is there)
GOOD LUCK
|