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(Please read the last comments.... it's already about a breakup... -edit)

Guys, I need some advice about my GF... HB9, we've been seeing each other for 5 months non-stop, we've been officially together for 2 months (which didn't change anything). Sex is extremely great, lots of PDA, she refers to us as a couple.

BUT

My GF has tons of pics of her exBF on her facebook, even ones with hearts and all this shit (that was a 4yr LTR, ended 7 months ago). She uploaded 1 pic of me and 2 group pics of us (with friends around). So we don't seem like a couple at all. I never uploaded anything of her on my FB, but I tagged her on my cover photo a month ago.

Everything SEEMS to be ok, apart from this facebook thing.

BUT

Now we spend the whole weekend together from Friday-Monday morning (BTW she had her phone on mute all weekend).

On Friday we were at this bar 4 of us. Me, my GF, her female friend (I also know her), and one of their gay male friends. Now they checked in on facebook to this place, and tagged themselves (just 3 of them with this gay guy), but not me! I fucked my GF in the bar's bathroom and there was quite some PDA durning the whole night but, come on! The following day I asked my GF why her friend forgot tag me, she said she probly forgot to but she could add me if I liked. I told her, it's ok, no need for that. Is she fucking ashamed of me or what?

Then I took a photo of her over the weekend, when we found a hedgehog on the street. She was holding it in her hands, it was a fucking cute photo, she said she loved it, so I shared it on her wall and tagged both of us (she liked the idea of doing this). Now she got home on Monday after work and the first thing she did was removing this photo (even though it had many likes). Again, is she fucking ashamed of me or what?

I got a little pissed off seeing all this. I don't have any photos of her on my FB (nor have I any photo of any exGF of mine), but she was tagged on my cover photo. So I removed her tagging (she never approved this tagging, so it was only visible on my profile anyway, but not on hers.) That's all I ever did about this facebook issue..

Even though there is usually massive PDA and she has introduced me to all her friends, and invites me to every party she goes to, she is hiding me on facebook. And all her social network profiles are full of her and her exBF cuddling. They are not meeting for months now, she told me. I never addressed this issue but this is bothering me. And there is absolutely no sign on the net that we are together. Now there was this photo of us on her wall but she removed it just now, even though everyone was liking it.

If she can remove a great photo where the 2 of us are tagged, why the hell doesn't she remove any photos of her ex? Is it beacuse I never uploaded anything of her on my FB or something else? How do I solve this??

Please give me your honest advice, thank you!

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

big case of insecurity and oneitis at play. over facebook? are you fucking kidding me?

the more you do this shit and are less yourself the less she is going to be into you, and the more hearts are going to go on her exBF's photo. get your shit together mate, she is with you, inviting you to parties. put your balls back on. do you want pretty photos of you and her, or no photos and a woman who is totally into you. get your priorities straight

i cant help but wonder what it would be like if it was the other way round.

If i was you i'd keep doing what you are doing, bang her brains out everytime you see her making sure she cums but be prepared for this relationship to end so you dont get too into her

not a oneitis (they are sleeping together). certainly insecurity.
I can see why this behavior would be confusing though. For instance, in my case I made sure my GF and I were listed as "in a relationship" on FB. The reason is that this spreads the news pretty quickly to her social circle that I exist in the "exclusive boyfriend" role. It also means a lot more since we were not even FB-friends before going exclusive. That tells me she is not adding to FB every guy she dates/sleeps with. All the more valuable as "virtual validation".

Other than that, I am not overly worried with the number of tagged photos on FB (some exist, but I prefer hickeys as markers of possession ). She introduced me to several friends of hers, there are PDAs, and she does not hide the fact that we are a couple. Is it a big deal if there are more uploaded photos of her ex-BF from 3 years ago? If real-life works just fine I do not worry with such minor details. Neither should you.

In your case, though, something is different. It looks like her and the friends are in a silent plot to keep you out of her facebook-life. Why? Maybe there are relatives there (cousins, parents, ...) whom she does not feel comfortable sharing the news with, but she has to keep those people as friends. Or maybe there is more, and the people whom she wants to keep you hidden from are more menacing (ex-BF, fuck-buddy, ...).

What I would do is ask (and by ask I mean "hey sweetie, I want this and that" - speak out that it is something you know is not a big deal, but that you care about) that the two of you be listed as "in a relationship".
If that works, you will get over your FB-insecurity over number of tagged photos, and move on to enjoy real life.
If she says no, then figure out why.

When I was 16 I was dating this one girl, and for a whole month all we did was go to hidden locations and make out. I was starting to worry that she was somehow ashamed of me since we never did anything but hide to make out. How I solved it? I suggested we go to an amusement park.. and we did, plain and simple

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

My ex said let's not be one of those couples that put our relationship on Facebook. I didn't care about this particular action but her reasoning was intriguing and revealing.

I never challenged her on it as it seemed needy "Why won't you be my facebook girlfriend?". But there was something behind it. It was a clue about us. She really wasn't comfortable with all her friends knowing. In fact she wasn't comfortable with the relationship in general and broke it off soon after. Maybe that's why she didn't want to put a status up when she knew she would change it soon after.

So I don't fully agree with the "Get over it. Who cares about a social network". Your girlfriend should want to shout out from the rooftops and show you off whenever and wherever. If she doesn't it's a clear indicator of interest levels in the relationship.

My advice is to not worry about this specific (really who cares about Facebook??) but take it as a hint that things are not as good as they could be. Become more of a challenge, do some cool stuff, work on your social group, work out, take her on cool dates, be a little bit more of a mystery. All the things which build up her interest levels. Whatever you do, don't nag her about any Facebook stuff. It comes across as super needy. She needs to do these things in her own time of her own accord.

There have been some excellent points made already so I'll be brief adding this one on. I have a lot of family on my facebook including young cousins, sisters, etc. I don't splash everyone I am dating up there for my family to see, cause then they start asking questions...and also because it may not work out...then it's oh what happened to so and so. It could be there are just some people on her Facebook she isn't comfortable telling.... "I'm a sex crazed girl with a hot boy toy that just took me for the ride of my life on his cock in the bar bathroom last weekend."

Just saying...

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

She never told me this, but I can never know.
Yeah, one option is directly asking her: "Is there a reason why you keep so many photos of your ex? I find this really disrespectful". What do you guys think?

The funny thing is that it all happened after 2 girls posted on my wall. One hinting at meeting up (I turned her off), and than an exGF of a friend of mine (my GF knows her too) who just broke up with my friend. She just wrote me that she could help me with some paperwork: I told her thank you and that's it. These should have had some positive effect on my GF, but no, the opposite is going on, she still isn't more into me (on facebook for sure). She should be the one seeking "virtual validation".
I agree with you, I ll take this facebook thing as an indicator. And I think this issue goes deeper than just a few facebook pics and tags missing.
Yet, she still is comfortable keeping many albums and pics with her exBF, as if they were still togheter. But she is only seen with me in public events and eveyone knows that they broke up last year.

When I was in an LTR (which lasted for 4 years) I never uploaded any pics of my GF, because I knew that I was not gonna stay with her forever. I was so-so into her. This only changed when she dumped me, than I went crazy AFC and wanted her back soo much. That's when my journey with PUA begun.

So you guys are saying that I should focus just on becoming the biggest alpha ever? and FB would follow naturally? And never mention FB? Or directly asking her: "Is there a reason why you keep so many photos of your ex? I find this really disrespectful"?

And I guess I won't post anything on facebook about my GF either from now on :S

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

This seems AFC insecure, as in "hey I feel I am much lower status than your ex-BF". If she were actively talking to him then it would be different. But photos from a past relationship are a different story. Guess what, I have more photos with my ex-GF on Facebook (1 year) than I have with my current GF (5 weeks dating, 5 days exclusive). Guess what, I am much more into my current GF than I ever was into my previous one! I just keep the old photos for the memories.
What nags you is that you won't be "shown on Facebook". Ask about that. Yes, it is probably needy. But you can manage a certain level of neediness before it starts being too much. If I were you, I would try and solve this issue before it becomes a reason for resentment and starts bringing anger and other unhealthy stuff in your relationship.
After how long a relationship? How long did it take her to start publishing this previous relationship on her FB? Worth knowing..
Just don't get into the frame of she loves him more than she loves me. If she were, she would be fucking him.

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Okey, you just made me stalk my GF, lol. She and her ex became FB friends in January 2008, couple photos first appeared May 2008.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

I guess you have your answer now.. it takes your GF some months before she feels comfortable enough to put a new boyfriend on stage for everyone to see (including relatives I assume)
now, stop being anxious, go out with her and enjoy your relationship. the time for being Facebook-sweethearts will come

_________________
nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

How did you find out she's been meeting her ex? Has she said she's not meeting him?

facebook left open. yes, 2 months ago she told
me she will never talk or meet him again. she said it herself and it was agreed.

_________________
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
Wayne Gretzky

Yep dump her! Explain how you saw it and that the trust is broken. Then leave and freeze out!

Dont have an argument as she will try and turn it around on you for snooping! Just a quick simple statement then go. Don't hang about and argue it out!

During the freeze out gauge her reaction! Does she want to fix it? Does she even try to text?

If she doesn't contact you then never text her again

If she does try to contact you and you want her back then make her work and keep her guessing.



All the best bro

I was with my ex for 6 years, and have been single 2 years. I still stay in touch with her now and again. Its hard after being someone for such a long time to just 'erase' them from their life..
Mate... 4 years is along time to be with someone.. This guy probably knows everything there is to know about her. i wouldnt delve in to it to much.
Just let her have her own space and do what she wants, the last thing a girl wants early off in a relationship is a clingy, insecure man who doesnt trust her.
Sure.. you have your reason's to be curious ect.. But the ex has been the biggest part in her life for 4years.


I go with the previous comment, just bang the shit out of her + try not to fall head over heels until she has sorted everything properly with her ex.
No offence man, you might be a rebound, you might not be.,

Hope everything works out.

_________________
We are here for a Good time, Not a long time.
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