From AFC to PUA: a Learning Journal (AFC Daniel)



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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2012 1:37 pm 
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Approach #2.

Context.
I was feeling way better so I decided to go to that Irish bar I wanted to go to. I went by myself, as planned. I got a beer but was quickly bored. I was obviously the only one by myself, I stayed a bit at the bar but there's no music to listen to like the other live music bar... I stayed 20 minutes trying to see an opportunity to build a nice interaction with someone but it doesn't happen. I decided to go out and have a walk in Paris. It was around 10pm, the streets were full of people which was good. At some point I see a girl wearing green pants, she was cute and as I was about to ask her if she needed help, she opened me.

Report.
She came to me and asked me:
HER - Do you now where's the Faubourd de Montmartre street?
I told her I didn't know but I could check it out for her on my smartphone.
HER - Thank you that would be nice, I have a Blackberry but no application for this, Blackberry sucks...
I laughed and answered:
ME - Well I don't know I've never had a Blackberry
I was having hard time finding the street so I asked her if she was looking for a bar. She said she was but didn't have the name.
ME - Let me try again I said
HER - Thank you, you probably have better things to do (I really lacked spontaneity here)
ME - Haha, no it's cool
I finally found it, told her where it was with a good BL and confidence, she smiled at me and thanked me. I was actually suprised about the fact that she opened me, I didn't really have the time to assess the situation so I didn't take any action in the end. I need to get more experience in those situations to make it an habbit.

Result.
It was a nice interaction but I lacked spontaneity. There was so many options for me to take the interaction further, I could even have joined her to the bar she was going but that only became obvious after the approach. It's usually like that. I think I'm actually really good at seeing things when it comes to social interaction, but it only becomes clear after the interaction. The entire interaction was in my head right after, transition, compliments, everything. I hope those small reports will help me getting this into reality. I'll be going out more at night by the way, there way more opportunities, even on the "day" game.

Areas for improvement.
- I could have got her name when she was trying to get some information about me: "I suppose you have better things to do"... "haha... don't worry... what's your name again?"
- I could have told her that I would be happy to join her: "yeah don't worry, a friend stood me up, I was going home... unless I can get a couple of beers with you and your friends"
- I could have made a funny remark about her green pants

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Sun May 13, 2012 2:01 pm 
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Hey, Daniel. I've only just registered but have been anonymously reading your journal for a couple of months now. Much respect to you, you've really inspired me and I think lots of guys with me. I'll keep reading and might give my advice here and there where I see fit!


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 4:09 pm 
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@Hobbit.

You're right, I should have set a playful frame right of the bat, this is definitely something I should work on, especially since I know it's a key to success. My best Game interaction had a touch of playfulness.

@Pink_Panther.
Thanks for your support! :)

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 6:59 pm 
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Week #4: report and new weekly plan.
Being back in action.

My weekly plan is a bit late since I was preparing for a job interview for this today.

Last week's report.
I slowly got better as the week went on and quickly got back in action.

-> LOOKING FOR A JOB:
I had a phone interview for a major IT company, it was in English and went well as far as I can tell. I'll know Wednesday if my application goes further. If it does, I'll have to go abroad to be interviewed on site. I've applied to other companies but most of the tell me that my profile is interesting but they don't have any position currently.
-> DO A DAY WITHOUT FACEBOOK/YOUTUBE/TWITTER/REDDIT
It actually felt really good, I think I'll do this again this week. Freeing myself from that really helps me build momentum.
-> GOING TO A NEW PLACE:
I went to a small park in the richest area of Paris. I was mind blown. I knew it was a really good spot but I still was really impressed by the area. I wanted to do some approaches but I had no good opportunities unfortunately.
-> APPROACH AT LEAST 3 GIRLS:
I wanted to do some approaches in the bar but I had no real opportunity. I approached a girl while I was walking around in Paris at night. I will intensify my efforts in that matter for this week.
-> NEW THING: GO TO A BAR BY MYSELF.
I went to by myself but it felt really strange being... well all by myself in this Irish pub. In the other bar I had music and my camera to take some picture, but in this one I got bored pretty easily and no real opportunity real came to me while I was at the bar. I usually find a spot and open people coming to my area but nobody really came.

GENERAL FEELING: Great actually, I'm not sick anymore and the best job opportunity I have is now getting real with that first interview. Getting the position would allow me to move abroad and start a "new" life.
____________________________________________________________________

Plan for Week #4.
Here's my plan for next week (from Sunday to Saturday).

WEEKLY ACTIONS: (permanent actions)
-> NO MASTURBATION.
Confidence builder, allow me to think clearly...
-> TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND EXPLAIN MY EMOTIONS AND DESIRES.
Allows me to better understand the causes of my emotions.
-> DO NEW THINGS EVERY WEEK.
The more you know...
-> WORK OUT.
Obvious.
-> ACTIVELY LOOK FOR A JOB.
I need to move on in this area.
-> PREVENT ANYTHING THAT DISTRACT ME FROM THE PRESENT WHILE OUTSIDE
While outside, I won't listen to music anymore or anything like that. I want to focus in the moment to allow myself to be more spontaneous.

THIS WEEK:
-> APPROACH AT LEAST 3 GIRLS.
I want to keep on doing this and focus on being more playful...
-> DO A DAY WITHOUT FACEBOOK/YOUTUBE/TWITTER/REDDIT
It felt good, doing it again.
-> GO FOR A EVENING WALK IN PARIS. (NEW)
There's way more opportunities in Paris at night, I'll enjoy the Parisian dusk and try to meet people.
-> NEW THING: WRITE A SHORT STORY. (NEW)
I have always liked writing and thought I could give a shot a writing a short story just for entertainment purposes. The goal is really to see what is really good for me.
-> NEW THING: GO JOGGING.
Let's go jogging again some time.
-> ORGANIZE SOMETHING WITH FRIENDS.
I've already planned on going somewhere to have a drink with some friends on Tuesday night.

LONG TERM ACTIONS:
-> GET A JOB.
Obviously the best way to go to emancipate myself. I still think I somehow attached an negative affect to work. I think I might have associated work and the way I behave while I was in a relationship (passive nice guy).
-> MOVE OUT.
My family is in a messed up situation. There's no day without fights. I tried my best to fix this, but I don't see what I can do anymore. I'm wasting a lot of energy trying to make things better for my parents but I'm obviously failing at it. The best thing to do for now is to move out.

Image
I've worked really hard for this phone interview and I'll work even harder to get this job.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 1:49 pm 
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Quick Update.

Something great came up. I have a face to face interview with an amazing company abroad, so I'll be traveling next Wednesday to another European city. I'm really excited about it and will prepare like I've never prepared. As a consequence, I won't have enough time to do all the actions I've planned for this week, I've already done most of them though.

This job would be the best thing that happen to me in a while: it will allow me to move out, live in another country and finally get a great salary. Oh and I guess it's also I chick magnet... Let's get this position. I'll work on my English like never, record myself and practice as I did for my phone interview. I won't let anything sabotage this incredible occasion. I can't be sure about the outcome since it doesn't totally depend on me... Yet, I'll work as hard as I can to play my part well. Pasteur once said: "Chance favors the prepared mind". I can't control the world, but I have a room for action/preparation, that's Spinoza's philosophy too by the way.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 9:31 pm 
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This sounds like an incredible opportunity Daniel!

Sounds like you're moving to the USA or UK, or some English speaking country.

Make sure you prepare like hell. Get your friends to ask you interview questions. Do as much as you can... Get it sorted, leave no stone unturned.

Good luck!

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My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 9:07 am 
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Quick Update.

Since I'm going abroad tomorrow for an interview, I won't publish any weekly plan this week and post the report next Sunday, once I come back to Paris.

@Hobbit.
I have already looked it up on Glassdoor, but even better, an ex co-worker is currently employed there, so I asked her for some tips. I know everything I need to know to make it go well, I'm still preparing right now. I'm actually going to have 3 to 4 interview on site. Let's do this!

@Tweeby.
The position is in Europe at a great company. Not only would it allow me to leave my parents', but it would also allow me to be well paid and discover a country I've never been in. This would be the perfect solution for me to move forward! :)

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 2:41 pm 
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Quick Update.

Here's just a small update on my job interviews.

Job Interviews.
Everything went well. I knew what I would be evaluated on and prepared according to this. I prepared a series of arguments I wanted to give to the interviewers and managed to say them. Of course, I could have said some things better, find better examples... but I have no regrets at all. I did my part of the job, said what I wanted to say and had really nice interactions with the 3 interviewers. There's nothing more I can do for now. I'll have the answer early next week. I am two stages away from getting hired. If I have a positive answer next week, I'll have a last phone interview and I'm done. I'm actually extremely proud of my achievements for now. Getting this far in the recruitment process with such a company is amazing.

I also loved the city. It seemed to be a really nice place to live, with a lot of beautiful girls actually. The company is amazing too, I've never seen anything like it... the offices were jaw-dropping and the benefits this company offer are incredible. I want this position so much. It would allow me to leave my parents, start a life in a new country and finally move on in the professional area. Dang it, I want it so badly. But again, it's not in my hands anymore.

Nice Interactions.
I was so proud of my interviews that I actually felt pretty good afterwards. I walked downtown to find a bus stop to go to the airport. At some point, I saw a guy waiting with luggage, I asked him if I could go to the airport from this bus stop. He answered yes and told me "I actually missed the bus for a few seconds... been waiting for 10 minutes". In France nobody does that, nobody actually starts a conversation like that (at least from what I can tell)... I answered with a smirk: "So you've basically been waiting the bus for me..." He laughed. I asked him about the time the bus took to join the airport and where I could buy a ticket.

Same thing happened as I was back in France. I had to take the bus to join downtown Paris but I didn't have enough money to pay... Something unbelievable happened... the bus drive basically told me that it was okay... !!! Again that never happens in France... I had some Brazilian notes on me, so I asked him if he collected foreign currency. He said yes and was extremely happy about his new addition to his collection. He started to show me South African and Serbian money he had today. We started a nice conversation and kept talking until we arrived.

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 8:30 pm 
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Week #5: report and new weekly plan.
Focusing on getting a job.

This week again, I had to give up a little in my weekly plan due to exceptional circumstances.

Last week's report.
I had a job interview on Wednesday and needed to work hard on it. I've spent most of the week at home, preparing for it... As a result, I didn't have a lot of interactions with friends and spend most of the time by myself.

-> LOOKING FOR A JOB:
Nothing is done yet! If I have a positive answer next week, I will still need to do a last phone interview. The answer will then take up to a month. There's a lot of "if" there, but I've done the hardest parts so far. I think the interview went well and, as far as I understood, the last phone interview isn't "that" complicated. But well, for nowI can't consider the position as granted at all. Getting this position would be a terrific though. It will allow me to move on with my life: leave my parents, go abroad, work at an amazing company, earn money, and most importantly, it would allow me to start a new life and get to know meet more people.
-> APPROACH AT LEAST 3 GIRLS.
Didn't do it at all, I really focused on preparing for the interview. I thought I could do it afterwards but I lacked time and desire too. My mind was elsewhere.
-> DO A DAY WITHOUT FACEBOOK/YOUTUBE/TWITTER/REDDIT
Didn't do it in the end.
-> NEW THING: WRITE A SHORT STORY.
My mind was elsewhere... Didn't do it.
-> NEW THING: GO JOGGING.
Didn't do it either.

GENERAL FEELING: I'm happy since I think my interview went well but I've done almost nothing this week aside preparing for it. I need to get back on tracks. I've not respected my plan this week. This is not good.
____________________________________________________________________
Plan for Week #5.
Okay, I've prepared this plan more carefully so here it is (a bit late though I need to be more serious on that).

WEEKLY ACTIONS: (permanent actions)
-> NO MASTURBATION.
Confidence builder, allow me to think clearly...
-> TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND EXPLAIN MY EMOTIONS AND DESIRES.
Allows me to better understand the causes of my emotions.
-> DO NEW THINGS EVERY WEEK.
The more you know...
-> WORK OUT.
Obvious.
-> ACTIVELY LOOK FOR A JOB.
I need to move on in this area.
-> PREVENT ANYTHING THAT DISTRACT ME FROM THE PRESENT WHILE OUTSIDE
While outside, I won't listen to music anymore or anything like that. I want to focus in the moment to allow myself to be more spontaneous.

THIS WEEK:
-> APPROACH AT LEAST 3 GIRLS.
Let's stop avoiding doing it. I want focus on being more playful...
-> GO FOR A EVENING WALK IN PARIS. (NEW)
There's way more opportunities in Paris at night, I'll enjoy the Parisian dusk and try to meet people.
-> GO JOGGING.
Let's run a little to release the pressure a bit!
-> ORGANIZE SOMETHING WITH FRIENDS.
I'll try to drink a coffee with at least a friend.

LONG TERM ACTIONS:
-> GET A JOB.
Obviously the best way to go to emancipate myself. I still think I somehow attached an negative affect to work. I think I might have associated work and the way I behave while I was in a relationship (passive nice guy).
-> MOVE OUT.
My family is in a messed up situation. There's no day without fights. I tried my best to fix this, but I don't see what I can do anymore. I'm wasting a lot of energy trying to make things better for my parents but I'm obviously failing at it. The best thing to do for now is to move out.

Image
Let's get back to the experiment!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 9:04 pm 
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Location: Paris, France.
Quick Update.

Here's a quick update on a small opener I'd like to do in situation.

Starting an interaction with Brazilian tourists
Went to Paris this afternoon to plan my actions and organize myself for next week. As I was sitting on a park bench, I realized the tourists behind me were Brazilians. I decided to practice a little my approach skills. There were two couples to speak to. The interaction went smoothly in Portuguese.

ME - Hi guys, you're Brazilian right?
GUY 1 [suprised] - Yes...
ME - I know it's a bit weird but I have this song from Chico Buarque in the head and I can't remember the name of the song... I remember the video though... blah blah

They laugh and we started a nice convo, one of the girls was really friendly... we chatted for a bit and I was gone. I'd like to actually approach a girl with that opener, I think it's a good idea to break the ice quickly. It really felt good having a nice interaction. I wasn't shy at all.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:42 am 
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Hey Daniel I really wish you great luck with your job!

It sounds brilliant and I can understand how it can take all of your week. But there are little things in your list which you should have absolutely been able to achieve, such as no facebook or twitter for one day.

There really is no excuse for falling through with that one. Like they always say, it's the winners who always manage to push themselves to go work out even if it is raining, or they feel shitty or this or that.

Keep it up!

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642


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PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 9:09 pm 
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Quote:
Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 10:42 am Post subject:
Hey Daniel I really wish you great luck with your job!

It sounds brilliant and I can understand how it can take all of your week. But there are little things in your list which you should have absolutely been able to achieve, such as no facebook or twitter for one day.

There really is no excuse for falling through with that one. Like they always say, it's the winners who always manage to push themselves to go work out even if it is raining, or they feel shitty or this or that.

Keep it up!
You're absolutely right. I need to go back on tracks, I was starting to approaching but I fell off the wagon because of that job interview. I need to be more serious about this.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 2:31 pm 
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Approach #3.

Context.
My old school organized an event to gather several generation of students. The goal was to share our experience with the new students. This formation is known to be one of the toughest you can do in France so it was important to the teachers to organize this kind of event to reassure the new comers. I was a bit anxious about seeing all friends but was excited to meet people. As I arrived, I immediately built momentum by joking around with the students and the professors. My old classmates started to come little by little. The pool was already warm, I was one of the centers of attention out there. I noticed several cute girls. Among them, one was pretty hot. She dressed well, was blond and has some freckles on her face. She was with two girl friends at any time.

Report.
As I was going to the buffet with a friend, one of the girl pointed a finger at my friend. We had a name tag with our names and school on it, they were impressed by his school. Great, that was my opportunity. We grabbed something to drink and started the conversation.

There were three girls, one of them was the blond I've already noticed, the other ones were less hot but more talkative though. We started to speak, they had a lot of questions. One of them was really extroverted, shit testing me all the time. She liked me, I played the game well... I've created a playful vibe while joking around, she was basically flirting with me in front of her friends. I had a good body language and did good when it came to eye-contact. She was pretty ballsy: at some point she interrupted and asked me "why did you take off your earring?"... She actually noticed one of my ears was pierced... Despite my surprise, I reacted well... I didn't give away my power. I ended up calling her insolent with a smirk. She laughed about it but I knew I was calming her down... after all I was not interested in her.

I had three girls around me, one of them shit testing me, another one throwing some jokes from time to time, ... and the last one (the blond) still listening to me quietly. I had their attention and a funny vibe (even flirty) going on but still had no clue on how to go further with the blond. At some point, my friend came back and asked out loud "Not engaged yet?". He was refereeing to the flirty vibe between me and the insolent girl. It was actually a good thing since the blond girl could see one of her friends clearly liked me. Other people joined the conversation and some of them ask about myself, so I told them I finished my studies in Brazil. At this point, the girl I was talking to poked the blond girl and told her about it. She went to Brazil for a few weeks recently and loved it. She would even like to learn Portuguese... I was back in.

At this point I was mostly speaking to her, with a strong body language and eye-contact. I told her a bit more about my experiences and she seemed pretty impressed. My friend noticed some breadcrumbs in her hair (she had long hair and had been eating some snacks). She turned a bit red (which was really sexy) get rid of them as I kept looking at her with a smile.

I had no idea how to number close her. I tried several time but her friends were always there. I didn't feel like taking her number in front of everybody else... and I didn't want to stay too long in the set... It was bad for me. I left the set, talked to other friends while keeping an eye on her to come back in.

I didn't have any occasion to speak to her again. As they left, the insolent girl told me from distant that she wasn't really insolent, just playing around. But I didn't have any chance to speak to the blond. Hopefully, everything went better than expected... (see results).

Result.
I had some great interactions, managed to get a flirty/playful vibe going on and was feeling good about it. I had some regrets about that blond girl, but it was still good practice. That kind of vibe is definitely something I have to bring to day game. Again, I don't do bad at all as I'm in a situation where I meet people...

Since the event was organized on Facebook, I thanked everyone for organizing this and wished good luck to the new students. The day later, the blond girl added me on Facebook. I like that. It doesn't necessarily mean anything but at least I'll get another shot at it... I'll think about what to do.

Areas for improvement.
- I could have put a bit more pressure on her when she was turning red: "why are you turning red?" "Oh you're a bit shy, that's cute/sexy"...
- I should have put more KINO there... high-five? hug?

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:40 pm 
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Week #6: report and new weekly plan.
Getting back on rails.

As usual, here's a small report on this week and a new plan.

Last week's report.
I didn't have a lot of actions to do this week since I wanted to slowly get back on rails. I was also expecting some news concerning my application but I didn't unfortunately.

-> LOOKING FOR A JOB:
I didn't have any news from the company I'm applying but I don't think this is bad news at all since they already were late when it came to tell me I would be interviewed... Let's wait until Tuesday. If I have no news until then, I'll write them.
-> APPROACH AT LEAST 3 GIRLS.
I "gamed" one girl at a meeting organized by my old school. To be honest, I had to take care of several girls at the same time, which actually created some difficulties to get her number. Fortunately she added me on Facebook the day later. I have a shot here but that's actually a sticking point for me... I've been unable to make it more than a date and actually. Let's focus on dispersing the pressure by getting more option from day game. I need to keep on living my life like this is nothing.
-> GO FOR AN EVENING WALK IN PARIS
I went for a small walk in Paris but I didn't chose the right neighborhood, very few opportunity to meet people but still an enjoyable experience.
-> ORGANIZE SOMETHING WITH FRIENDS.
Saw several friends this week. It actually felt good since I've spent most of last week by myself working on my interviews.

GENERAL FEELING: I felt great, had a good week. I'm only annoyed that, every time that I get a real shot with a girl, my insecurities come back. I have great deal of value to this girl's eyes... Yet, I start to doubt and underestimate myself as I get close to the point. That's what happened with Swiss Girl, I started to doubt, became needy... It's sad since every time I actually go to a party/meeting I do well in terms of social value.

____________________________________________________________________
Plan for Week #6.

Okay, I'll keep it simple again this week... If I have a positive answer from the company I'm applying for, I'll have to take some time to prepare the next phase.

WEEKLY ACTIONS: (permanent actions)
-> NO MASTURBATION.
Confidence builder, allow me to think clearly...
-> TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND EXPLAIN MY EMOTIONS AND DESIRES.
Allows me to better understand the causes of my emotions.
-> DO NEW THINGS EVERY WEEK.
The more you know...
-> WORK OUT.
Obvious.
-> ACTIVELY LOOK FOR A JOB.
I need to move on in this area.
-> PREVENT ANYTHING THAT DISTRACT ME FROM THE PRESENT WHILE OUTSIDE
While outside, I won't listen to music anymore or anything like that. I want to focus in the moment to allow myself to be more spontaneous.

THIS WEEK:
-> APPROACH AT LEAST 3 GIRLS.
I want to have more options... and actually get something done in Day Game. I'm keeping this action.
-> DO ONE DAY WITHOUT TV. (NEW)
Let's free myself from TV for one day!
-> ORGANIZE SOMETHING WITH FRIENDS.
I've already something planned with a friend but still need to confirm it.
-> DO A PHOTO SESSION
It's been a while... I'll find some time this week to take some pictures.

LONG TERM ACTIONS:
-> GET A JOB.
Obviously the best way to go to emancipate myself. I still think I somehow attached an negative affect to work. I think I might have associated work and the way I behave while I was in a relationship (passive nice guy).
-> MOVE OUT.
My family is in a messed up situation. There's no day without fights. I tried my best to fix this, but I don't see what I can do anymore. I'm wasting a lot of energy trying to make things better for my parents but I'm obviously failing at it. The best thing to do for now is to move out.

Image
Let's get back to work!

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:41 pm 
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Quote:
Hello Daniel ,

Glad your high school reunion turned out ok . Must have felt interesting to see some of your old peers again .

Just wanted to comment on a part of your story :
Quote:
Areas for improvement.
- I could have put a bit more pressure on her when she was turning red: "why are you turning red?" "Oh you're a bit shy, that's cute/sexy"...
Wasn't it already clear she knew you noticed her embarrassment ? You didn't really need to say or do anything else . Actually , by not verbally discussing i.e. not giving her closure , you put plenty of pressure on her . She was probably a bit nervous about the whole thing , and this kind of dynamic usually works for us in pick up .


Glad to hear about your progress . . .


Onward we go !
Indeed, she had already some pressure on her... Let's say that I could have taken the opportunity to break the rapport and show some interest. Let's see what I can do from there! :)

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