Final update.. because it was last minute, she couldn't make it. I've since stopped asking her to go to places. She knows I'm interested in her as she told me outright and she also said "it takes her awhile to get to understand someone", so my interpretation is she just isn't interested right now. Mid to low interest level at best. She recommends doing more casual things and chilling in less intimate settings with groups of people until she got to know me better. She didn't outright say she didn't like me though. I would have greatly preferred her saying that aka LJBF so I could simply hard next. Women are tricky like that.. they either like the attention or they want a backup option, so they most often will never give you a direct answer.

I'm simply going to have to soft next this one and move into a holding pattern. She advised going to a party next weekend and asked me, but potentially with a friend as well. I don't do group dates, but any retaliatory freezeouts or knee-jerk reactions from me will seem childish at best right now. I told her to "call me next week when you know when the party is happening." I'll probably leave a casual text early Tuesday on unrelated matters and wait for her to actually call me after that to let me know when this party is happening leading up to the weekend. If she conveniently doesn't mention it, or forgets, then I will know I'm at zero interest and move on. If she remembers, then I'll try to setup another date with her mid week after the party weekend near the end of the month and try to crack the shell a bit further.

Fortunately, I have a couple of others that I'm working on right now, so that can distract me because I'm really getting a oneitis with this one. A couple texts from her recently, but my responses have been a bit more terse. I won't ignore her, but I'll reduce the frequency of contact and see how that goes for the next few weeks.

I guess this is recommended action at this point. It's funny how I got so close to a k-close on day 2/3 and have her suddenly pull back completely. I expected to very soon at least start dating her regularly. I think the minute she starting feeling I was starting to chase her, she pulled back and is now reluctant to do 1 on 1 dates. weird!

You are definitely over thinking this whole interaction which isn't unusual when you do find a girl you like who is kind of flakey. It certainly resonates with me and I'm sure it does with alot of guys on these forums. When ever I find a girl I really like and start to feel that neediness and insecurity kicking in, my response now is to go out gaming harder to meet other women so I am not in such scarcity that I need to worry about chasing and pleasing one chick. My advice would therefore be to go out and surround yourself with other women, even if it doesnt lead to anything the simple act of meeting lots of women will remind you of the fact that there are countless others out there and should help you put your current situation into perspective.

All the best though bro what ever happens.

So J-Flux, I took your advice on that one. I reconnected with some prospective online dates I've chatted with online and texted a few times in the past. I chose two HBs; an HB7 I've never met before and an HB8 I've met a few times but haven't gotten very far with. In both cases I initiated some text gaming back and forth and got both interested. Ended up securing two dinner dates, one a few days ago and one tonight.

The one a few days was actually somewhat of a whirlwind. Lots of IOI, lots of Kino. By the end of dinner walking to my car I had my arm around her waist and her head against my chest waiting at the traffic lights. From here it was an invitation back to my loft to check out some interior design styling for some plausible deniability. I escalated quickly once we were inside. Ran into a bit of LMR here and there as she told me she wasn't comfortable and she had just met me, so I ran some push-pull back and forth. We then moved to the bedroom and very quickly with some more kino I pushed her beyond the point of no return and she reached right inside my pants. At this point I took off her underwear and proceeded south. I guess like all guys, I just can't resist hearing how vocal a female becomes when you work magic on her below. She totally didn't last...

So at this point, I basically had the option for an f-close with her and it was hard not putting it in. I was ready for takeoff and watching a HB unclothed with my rocket about an inch away from her pleasure zone makes it even harder, especially without any blood in my brain. I descalated to having her give me bj-close instead. The reason is because in some of our convos, I seem some LTR potential in this one (and the HB8) and I'm not about to ruin these endroads by jumping into sex immediately. I know this sounds crazy to not take the f-close, but as you can read from my other posts, I am looking for LTR->Marriage potential at this point in my life. I find f-closing on the first date doesn't last very long. Gave her a line that I'm not ready for sex yet, and she stayed the night beside me. She already wants to see me again, and I have to decide what I want to do with her!

I have another dinner date tonight where this other HB8 is coming over alone. I'll find out where this goes as it unfolds. She knows its a date and I've seen her a few times in the past already, but she was reading in the past like she wasn't ready for a k-close, so I didn't escalate. I can't tell if she is just interested in online dating for some free wining and dining or for serious dating, so I'm just going to escalate with her tonight and see what happens. When you have some options you can afford to be a bit bolder I guess.

So, I've almost forgotten about my original oneitis target. I find it so mentally exhausting once you enter a stage of oneitisness. I was getting really needy, insecure and starting overanalyzing everything. I was also feeling more and more AA because of my inability to escalate with my original target. Good thing I took the advice of some of the people here to pick myself back up

Also FWIW for anyone else reading my story. I used to be a 350lb 6'3" AFC who was in a LTR with an HB2 many years ago (11 years ago) for almost 6 years. After that, I changed myself, picked up a bunch of interesting hobbies including running a half marathon, modified myself down to a 200lb 6'3" and almost immediately hit it off with an HB9.5. We went 4 years getting engaged in the process. Unfortunately, being an AFC for so many years and out of shape doesn't make you a PUA overnight over even in a span of a year.. I guess I was lucky with that HB9.5. I ended up not being enough of a challenge for her and lost her. This however, almost sent me back down to sub-AFC level overnight.

For the last 2 years, I've been actively trying to work on my natural game and inner game to rebuild the things I lost.. and to better internalize my self-value. I guess the good thing is once you've tasted a HB9.5, you can't settle much lower than that, haha..

So I K-closed the HB8 that came over yesterday.. I think I've underrated her a bit because when I saw her tonight, she looked more like an HB9 to me I really can't read this one though. She is quite strange. She doesn't really flirt at all. It felt awkward during the last 2 dates with her but I wanted to see where this could go. She hasn't given me any perceptible IOIs that would allow me to kino escalate, so I never did up until yesterday. She never turns down a date and has offered to pay for some of them in the past. When I do try to make a suggestion to extend our dates for some time bridging beyond our original planned activities, she usually has to go home for dinner, etc. Even yesterday night, as it got later in the evening, she said she had to go because of an early start to the work week this morning. It wasn't all that late (11pm), so I know she was perhaps just feeding me a line.

I've also gotten the cheek during our first 2 dates when I moved in for the kiss, and it was my intention to next her tonight if things didn't improve. I still couldn't read her tonight, but I decided to start kino escalating with her anyways. Eventually, I got to a comfort level with me holding her waist while chatting with her, legs touching during dinner, touching her neck/hair and being within her personal space constantly. This definitely improved the situation because I felt that she almost wanted to give me her cheek when she left, but when I looked her in the eyes, she turned back and I got her lips. It wasn't a make-out session, but it was a decent close. The good thing about all of this is that the next time we meet, I'm already working off a higher rung on the ladder, so I can hopefully really start ramping this up. But I'm not sure if she is just someone that needs to move very slowly in a new relationship or she is just testing the waters using a shotgun approach so she can't give up herself too easily.

I've been setting up dates and not texting her at all in between and sometimes taking many hours to reply to her texts. I'm wondering if I myself am not showing enough interest for her to pick up on and she is keeping herself distanced in case I decide to bail on a heartbeat?

Anybody want to provide some pointers with this situation?

This is becoming almost like a journal, so I don't know if the thread should be moved elsewhere. But I'm taking all these comments to improve my chances to permanently move out of the afc zone. Thanks for all of your comments..

Hi,

Great to see you have moved on and have been successfull. My opinion is if a girl takes things pretty slow like that last post of yours, or is insecure/shy you need to show more interest and build comfort with her to take things further.

Generally your first thoughts are right so if you thought you need to show more interest then do it, just don't go overboard.
You are doing great so just keep on trucking