Hey guys.

As the title says, i haven't had sex for two goddamn years. The last time i had it was with my ex girlfriend and it sucks really. I would say that i am pretty good looking, dark hair, brown skin, pretty athletic et.c. I started to learn PU like six months ago, and sure, i have got a couple of kiss closes and number closes during the journey, but seriously how much is the skills of PU necessary if you still don't get your lovely f-close?

Sometimes it feels like my mind is stuck in the same AFC state that i had before i got into PU. It feels like some people (mostly girls), who knew me before still see me as the biggest AFC.

It's not that i can't talk to girls, it's just that i really easy get thrown out of a good state of mind(e.g if i get a bad score on a test it will be at the back of my head and when the thought pops up it will just suck away my good state).

Every weekend i think for myself: "Yes, weekends' here, i better get my self laid, for real this time". But it never happens.

What to do? How can i manipulate my mind to always be in a good, talkative, fun state?

Lil Dino

you are too focused on the outcome of sex, rather then enjoying hitting on girls, if this shit is not fun for you, then it will not be fun for who you are talking with, the skills of pua are fairly irrelivant if you can't be confident with them and use them for your own enjoyment, if you just want something from the people you are interacting with all the time, then you are needy, you have to stop taking, and start giving, happiness is a state of mind and will not come as a result of getting something, sure your ego gets a little boost and an orgasm feels good for about 5 minutes, then the next day you are back to being your needy old self, you have to find happiness from within and try to spread it to others, give joy, give help, give a good makeout to a girl, give her a good time, don't try to take one from her sitting back hoping she makes you happy, don't try to get a makeout from her, don't ask her, just give, lead everything to what you want, LEAD LEAD LEAD, BE PRO-ACTIVE, people think what you tell them to think as long as it suits the frame and they want to conform to that frame, if you are more sure of yourself then they are, then they will follow, it is just the natural dynamic of group think, right now you are following, you have to put effort into being pro-active and start leading and putting effort into creating, uplifting and giving, rather then destroying, cutting down, and taking, MORE EFFORT, MORE ACTION

realistically how much effort are you putting into this? (you don't even have to answer to me, just answer this for yourself)

how many new girls have you talked to in the last year? (if it is below 100 then obviously you are not trying for shit), you can get 20 approaches a day done, as long as you have the day free

how well do your express your intentions? do you project the idea that you are sure of your intentions?

do you actually go for gold?, do you persist until rejection or do you leave when things get stale and not risk anything so that you can keep your ego intact? (this gets you rejected by default btw)

these are all good questions to ask yourself, you say you're put together and all that, so if you can enjoy yourself and find the fun in hitting on girls, while you are being clear with your intentions and hiding nothing and approach 100 girls before the year is done, I would be more surprised if you didn't get laid from doing this, then if you were to win the lottery

how to re-frame your mind so you are in a better state?, simple stop seeking reactions and an outcome, you can't live in the future, or dwell on the past, anytime you catch yourself thinking ahead, punch yourself in the balls, then think, at this time right now, if I could do anything at all that I wanted without anything bad happening to me, what would I do?, then forget about the future and what might happen, and do that thing

keep doing this ^ and eventually you will be able to just relax and be yourself at all times, but it will take EFFORT, and pain and discomfort, it won't come easy, but in the end it will be worth it when you can actually enjoy yourself around other people just truly being yourself, free from the burden of their approval

once you feel better on the inside, you will see some results, but as long as you seek the results as your main purpose, the purpose of trying to get something to fill that void that is missing, you will be seeing little to no results, that void doesn't exist, give the girl the experience, don't try to take one away from her for yourself, xyz tactic will not get you what you want, you give out tactics because they are emotionaly stimulating and they serve a purpose, and that purpose is nothing beyond to fill space in order to ADD to an interaction, it has nothing to do with the future, only the present and it serves a purpose at the time that you use it, if this is not the case, then you are in the wrong state of mind, stay with the right now, the current, the present, no thinking behind or ahead, lead the way to what is to come, without being focused on the end of the journey

(start to think about this for a while, and while you think about it, ask yourself who you are and if you are happy with yourself, if not, it is time to change, you are already good enough to give yourself permission get what you want and express yourself, you are a boss, you just have to realize it for yourself and do something about it)

I am a 25 year old virgin. You're lucky to have ever had sex. I know you don't know that in the same way I don't know I'm lucky to go to sleep on a full belly.

Thanks for your good and detailed reply, pumpington, i will definitely put the stuff you mentioned in action!

And for Sub_Zero, keep fightin' !

Im in the same boat man. Its been two years for me two. I just recently finished reading "The Game" and I am sarging this girl I slept with (two years ago). Im just trying out some of the methods and I have been trying to approach a few women at work, just practicing having conversation. Im really rusty so I am trying to get my conversation skills up. Keep your head up and keep going man. You'll get there.