Girlfriend hot and cold all the time (insecure)



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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 5:19 pm 
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Hey friends,
so this has pretty much been a problem from the get-go, my gf is extremely insecure. The background is she was with someone for a year and found out that he was cheating on her the whole time, she just recently got out of a 2 year relationship and we started seeing each other about 2 or 3 weeks after they broke up and she wanted to be exclusive and have the title and all that about a month in. We've only been official for maybe a month. When we are together everything is great, it seems like its when we are apart that is the hard part for her. If you guys have read my previous post, she is the type that always needs to be in contact whether its phone / text or whatever. I work with the girl and already see her everyday so I don't text her much or call her at all. I'll maybe initiate a text once or twice a week. The rest of the time its her initiating the text saying how much she misses me. Last night we went out to the club and everything was good but by the end of the night she was saying that she doesn't know about us and she doesn't want me to hurt her. She also says I don't show much emotion and don't seem to care about alot of things. I really don't let little things bother me and often ignore these things that she says because I feel like she is constantly testing me with shit test and to be quite honest I am pretty sick of it. She did sleepover and we did spend 3 straight days together leading up to the club last night so maybe we have just seen each other too much and she is using this as an excuse. This girl has been always been hot one moment then really cold another moment. She will be like I like you so much then a few hours later say so you can go be with other girls it doesnt matter. Just real strange behaviour. I think my game with this girl leading up to this point has been real good, no neediness, give her alot of space, reward her good behaviour and don't talk to her much when shes being a brat. Any thoughts or ideas gents? Is this girl just a nut case? lol ... Maybe I should just give her a soft next?


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 10:00 pm 
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She just didn't have enough time to get over her last relationship, that's the reason why she's insecure.

She's not sure to trust you, after she got cheated on the whole time, by a previous guy.

This needs time, are you willing to give her that? That's the only question you should ask yourself.

Good luck


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 11:22 pm 
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It takes more than 2-3 weeks to get over a 2 year relationship. Sorry to say this but this is a rebound relationship.

Ive been in one and they are crazy. Everything is really fast and intense, you go from seeing them once to seeing them all the time in a matter of weeks rather than months like normal relationships. It feels like your the most important thing to them.

Its easier to pretend to love someone than it is to feel the pain of losing someone else. She is using you to make up for what she didnt get in her past relationship and to help her deal with the loss.

Be carefull with this one.


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 11:47 pm 
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Quote:
It takes more than 2-3 weeks to get over a 2 year relationship. Sorry to say this but this is a rebound relationship.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions that fast.


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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 12:14 am 
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How would you define a rebound relationship? Id say someone coming out of 2 year long relationship then jumping right into another relationship is pretty much as good a definition as your going to get. Unless the relationship was horribly wrong for some period leading up to the break up it is typical rebound.

Id say her finding it hard without you is because your there for support, to help her forget about her last boyfriend and when your not there she's not got you to help forget him.

If you be the alpha male she wants then it doesnt matter. You sound like your doing the right thing, keep it up.


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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 12:57 am 
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Thanks for the reply guys, i should add that her 2 year relationship was pretty rocky for awhile before they broke up. Like broke up many times and got back together (tried working things out) when she finally had enough and broke it off for good. I would say her last relationship was pretty unhealthy. So we talked today and I told her to be real with me and if she wants to be with me it can't go on like this because its not fair for both of us. She said that it all came down to her not wanting to get hurt and she feels like she puts more into the relationship and cares way more than I do. So her guard is up and she doesn't want to be hurt. I say to have a real relationship those walls are gonna have to come down and it should never be like that. I think we are in a good place right now but we will see lol. Nothing seems to be stable so I'll keep you guys posted.
Thanks again


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PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 1:05 am 
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btw pablo your definitely right about this:

Ive been in one and they are crazy. Everything is really fast and intense, you go from seeing them once to seeing them all the time in a matter of weeks rather than months like normal relationships. It feels like your the most important thing to them.


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