Hey Ace.

Man, that's a great one. Have common interests is probably number 1. Number 2 is pick the right girl. All relationships stale with time. Fortunately life itself is interesting enough to keep it challenging.
Tension. And a lot of talking.

Heck my wife travels occasionally and we talk every night during the week. I never run out of things to say. I talk about anything and everything. The more commonality you can establish with someone, the more interesting you'll seem. Pry into her life, etc.. She wants somebody to listen. Cut it off early, and make her want to continue the conversation in person, etc..

Have a life, don't be insecure, etc..

Man I could write a book on this one topic.
I do. Just do it funny, and in a joking manner. You wouldn't believe some of the things I've called girls, or even my wife. We don't have any kids, and I always do it in a funny, joking manner.
Like I said above, all relationships become stale over time. No way to avoid it. Although they also become more trusting and comfortable. So it's somewhat of a trade off.

I like current and world events. Both my wife and I are fairly well educated, we also like sports and we like our privacy out here in the woods. So we have a lot in common from that perspective. Pets are also great. Of course some people have kids, and these are never boring.

We also go on regular excursions to the big city up the road. But we also have separate interests.

Travel is also quite fun, and something we used to do a lot a few years ago, not so much now.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

So you are married, did you get into the game to find a wife and then just continued to mentor guys like Sweater in The Game?

I stumbled into the game purely by accident.

I never really had a problem gaming women post high school (I was an only child and late bloomer). I joined the Marines out of high school in 1979, married a live in college girlfriend at 19, after getting orders to Hawaii where I was stationed for 3 years. We went our separate ways and I found myself back home divorced at 22 with no kids.

Other than a few years spent in college, and in management, I spent the next 14 years doing mostly nowhere male dominated professions with few commonalities with women. I was forced to learn the game in bars, and other similar venues. I really became frustrated with the whole young single scene (this was the 80's, stds' were rampant in the clubs, tired of chicks with multiple bf's, FU personal lives, etc...). So I started dating and gaming older women only (usually divorced w/children and just looking for sex).

When I hit 30 (early 90's) I decided to go on the road and drive a tractor trailer long haul. And went back to gaming younger chicks in large cities all over the country. It was still a hassle, especially since I always operated alone, and was entering strange social environs where I wasn't known well. In many ways it was a FU existence. But it was fairly easy (I don't look like a truck driver).

By the time I was about 35 I had landed a local job hauling steel, and was making decent money. I was still largely on the outside looking in. Most of the younger women here in the bible belt stuck to their social circles like glue. And penetrating them was difficult, and in some cases even dangerous. A lot of fear to go around. At one point I started dating strippers (I can thank my room mate for talking me into winging for him), but after one bad experience with a young 19 y.o. with a multitude of psychological problems I said never again.

So at that point I was fairly disgusted with the whole scene. I wanted something better than apartments, singles bars and problem women. I decided to take a stab at the playing the newspaper personal ads. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted an intelligent chick, that could be a good team player, no baggage, and one that was emotionally stable and available.

After going through probably 25 different women (most of whom were just looking for no commitment sex), I found a girl that met my criteria. She happened to be very well educated (masters), with a great future (my profession had absolutely no advancement potential to speak of). So I jumped at the chance and it turned out to be a great thing. She, like I had been married once before.

Today we live out in a log house in the woods I designed and built myself. And we have no problems. Her career took off like gangbusters, and I'm happy to be in a supporting role. It's been 9 years. I'm 46, she's 41.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

I think it's refreshing to hear about someone who is in a happy and working relationship. Building a log cabin and living in it- totally rockstar.

However, I'm wondering about the comment I quoted above. What is your take on the fact that most of these women were looking for no-commitment sex? It's a common conception that most women attach emotionally during sex, and that they have more to lose during sex. Most of what I read/hear/see is that most women are looking for commitment. What's your take on it, since your experience is so contrary to these generalizations?

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- Zip

Yep, that's a great question. And one that at the time caught me by surprise as well.

If you had read my ad, it was quite specific. That I was looking for somebody that wanted something more out of life than just another fling, one night stand, etc..

What I found was that many of the women that responded wanted this as well, in some dark part of their minds. But they had a bass ackwards way of going about it and tended to gravitate towards men who either didn't want too, or couldn't give it to them. Remember what you were saying about attraction not being a choice (and often women want what they can't have). They were self sabotaging their relationships in my way of thinking. Most already had regular boyfriends, some were even married and looking for sex outside of their obviously unsatisfying relationships. Others had been damaged in some way, fear of commitment, etc..

I came to the conclusion that they had set a pattern of behavior for themselves early in their lives. And they were simply playing the same old broken record of superficiality and serial monogamy over and over again. You know, nothing like some strange to get you energized and relieve your boredom with Billy man cow who was for the most part wedded to his career, his drinking buddies, etc... And who you needed to keep up the lifestyle that you had become accustom.

Besides, it's quite difficult to find single women in this age group, and at that maturity level without significant baggage, etc...

I, on the other hand was a fairly well rounded human being with no kids that wasn't in need of rescuing emotionally. Nor did I need a trophy for the boys at work. Sexually, I could take it or leave it and was quite capable of pleasing myself for lack of what I considered a better option.

Now I would be mistaken to try to insinuate I was everything to every woman. On the contrary. And this caused me quite a bit of grief at the time. I was at best an equal economically and socially. And my paycheck alone wasn't going to make any girl feel like a princess.

I like to call myself a nice guy with character in a bad boys body. I've also been told by women I'm also quite difficult to read. Others have told me I wear my heart on my sleeve. Go figure.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

There is a HB9 looking girl at my school. I see her alot because we have the same program but the thing is I don't know her I know her friend, Usually she and her friend walks and study togheter. So I pop upp and starts talking to her friend and so on. And she listens and then I put my attention on her and I make her laugh.

But I have never come to that stage were we greet and talk when I see her alone. So what do I do ?

Rule #1- Be friendly and open to all hot girls, whether you know them or not. Just act like you already know them. Smile, open body posture, eye contact, talk about anything, etc.. Try to make it easy for her to tell how you feel about her. If you're feeling bold, tell her you think she is 'pretty'.

Sounds like you're doing quite well so far and you've built some social proof with both of them already. This is very simple, and I suspect you already know what to do.

But the first question I have is what are the ramifications with her friend. Does she think you have something going on? This may prevent your target from showing too much interest in you if you approach her.

Beyond that, you should just walk up to her or walk beside her next time you see her alone. And gauge her interest. If she's friendly and open you can escalate, tell her you'd like to see her again, etc...

You must express your interest for her in some fashion. This is usually as simple as open body language, eye contact a smile and opening her when you and her are alone. If she faces you directly and looks into your eyes, it's on. If she doesn't she could just be scared, or intimidated and may require a little more work. Light Kino is also appropriate.

Remember, nothing is set in stone especially with younger targets. Sometimes comfort is required before a girl will allow herself to feel attraction for you. So take whatever attraction you can get with her, then move directly into comfort/rapport building. Then you can work on escalating the isolating her from her friend. Which is always delicate work, because both girls may want you at the same time if you show too much interest to both of them at once.

Even if it doesn't work out in this case, and I cannot guarantee that it will in every case, this is very good practice for you.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Wow I just noticed u have your "ask me" thread And now that i know your life story, sry for being so loose with u :p Ok, enough of ass kissing, lets talk game :p What do u think has a primary role, BL or routiness? And, now from your perspective, what u think would b the best path for me 2 take, I'm 18, financaly stable and still in highschool. I know a nice portion of routiness, but wasent rly giveing any tought bout BL =/ Any toughts?

You want to try rephrasing this?

As for the best path you should take? That's easy. Go to college, and study the material located herein as much as possible beforehand.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Ye, thats something like I planned in my head, was just wondering what whould u do in my shoes ;p

Oh and the question. What do u think is more important in a opener or a routine, the body language or the routine it self, do u think that your body movment has a primary role?

Yes, I believe that strong and effective non verbal communication skills are as important as anything else. And the basis for attraction.

This is similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I believe every woman goes through a similar checklist of needs during the selection and mating process. And the non verbal, more primitive aspects of the personality are at the base of the pyramid.

You often see this is younger girls, where they become attracted in a guy regardless of what he says or does. And almost nothing he does changes this initial level of attraction. Even in some cases abuse.

On the flip side you can put a younger woman in a room with a guy she doesn't find attractive 24/7 and it wont matter what he says or does she will still view him negatively or as just a friend.

But like any intelligent creature, nothing is written in stone in this regard. And the older and more experienced a woman get, often the more logical choice becomes a factor based upon this experience and her perceived needs.

Beyond that I think women choose what they feel is the best mate available (of course we all know they're aren't always right). And availability can mean many things. For instance if a guy that is very attractive to her cannot open her, escalate or support her (if this is a need) she will sometimes choose someone who she finds slightly less attractive, but who can open, escalate and provide this need. Commonality is also a key, which is a component of comfort and trust.

But any guy she finds 'not attractive' in a non verbal sense has really very little chance at all in the short term, unless he can buy her attention, convince her he is a good provider, etc... Then she will often use him, while having sex with other more attractive men.

It's helpful to point out that one can find exceptions to every rule. But the percentages are fairly low.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Dear Starbuck,

1) Martika is hot, even by 2007 standards.

2) How did you learn to dance?

3) I can't stand direct game. Yet I never close off possibilities to myself. How do I go about starting direct game with HB's?

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afc-challenge-to-the-masters-social-anx ... 10108.html

I suspect she's not as hot today as she was when this vid was made.
On the dance floors of Honolulu, Hi.

I've never taken any formal dance training, but always had good moves and was athletic. I was always tall and lean as well, which helps.

It also helps that most guys are poor dancers.

Dance is another form of non verbal communication. So that's what you should be trying to do with a chick while you're dancing with her.
Confident and powerful non verbal communication skills, and direct verbal advances meant to get you into a place where sexual escalation can take place.

The older and more experienced you and your targets get, the easier direct game will become.

Also remember, that direct game is often best used after an AI. An approach invitation from a woman. It's often better used on older more experienced women than the younger variety who may become uncomfortable by such a direct frame that leaves them little chance to evaluate you.

There can also be social implications to being too direct as well. And of course some guys are just crude, or lack other aspects of their game (non verbal, etc..).

But then it leaves no doubt as to what your true intentions are, and her response is often equally as direct.

I think being direct is probably the single best manner in which to deal with women. And this is how most successful long term relationships operate.

Although like I pointed out above, unfortunately when getting to know younger women, especially the more sensitive, less experienced and fearful type being too direct can sometimes be counterproductive. Sort of like putting the cart before the horse, in their minds. Makes sense really, because most women simply aren't going to bed every man that approaches or propositions them no matter how attractive. For a variety of reasons.

Here are some.

Already in a committed relationship.

Wrong time of the month.

Problem with logistics.

Busy.

Fear.

Social implications.

This is also a great question to ask Zip, to get a single, hot, intelligent, educated and mature womans perspective, if you would like to do so.

Zip, don't let this go to your head.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM

Aha, I'm starting 2 get it, so the Body language and the abillity 2 ecelate is a condition u need 2 meet, b4 anything else happens? Cool

After realising I cant "know" the whole game at once, that I have 2 learn it step by step (eg. open, dhv, neg etc. ) I was thinking maybe it wasnt the same deal with Body L, that I can just adopt it, with a few simple guidelines, u know: Chest up, feet set apart, shoulders back, never look down, etc. ?

BL, and other non verbal communication is very important stuff.

So is the ability to escalate, which is nothing more than transitioning from one interaction with a woman to the next, from meeting to n,k or f-closing, or whatever your goal.

If you can't escalate, and do it properly nothing else really matters.
You can develop the basics at an early age.

But it is an very extensive topic. One that takes years of experience, practice, and study to fully master.

It is said that only about 7% or so of communication is verbal, the rest of non verbal. If that gives you an idea of how important this stuff is. Check your email.

Also consider clicking the header at the top, or bottom of the page to the PUA training vault, and registering your email. And perhaps acquiring a copy of Gambler's natural game which goes into these aspects of non verbal communication as it applies to male/female interaction in greater detail.

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http://youtube.com/watch?v=4ufa-q7DcWM