Quote:
As a general rule, when dealing with women of dubious history, it is always better to leave the relationship to pursue something new. The reason is simple; Math. People often forget that game is more about minimizing your losses than maximizing your victories. Imagine 20 out of 100 women are a good fit for you. You think your girlfriend is one of the 20, but find out she has had a bad history. You have two options from here on in.
If you dump her and you were wrong, she WAS a good girl: it doesn’t matter, there are another 19 girls you can pursue.
You stay with her and you were wrong: 2 year LTR? 2 years of wasted time and opportunities.
Imagine this on a bigger magnitude, marriage. You dump a GOOD girl – it’s ok, more will come. You stay with the WRONG girl – a lifetime of regret. Some people criticize the Venusian arts for being all about “next, next, next.” This is why its justified. Compare the repercussions of not saying next soon enough versus saying next too quickly. It is an irreconcilable difference for men capable of acquiring other women.
Back to your scenario, you can’t confront her about it nor should you. It will do no good but build resentment and sub-communicate your insecurity. There is no chance that you will alter her nature, it is impossible. At most, you will create a temporal fix. Every justification for this, “she was young,” or “I heard she changed this past year,” is post-hoc rationalization, because let’s face it, you want to stay with this girl.
Now the good news is, women are hypergamous, not polygamous. They want the best, and when they have the best, they will not go for something less. Assuming she IS in love with you, and is fully cognizant that you are willing to walk out on her if she DOES pull the same shit with you, she will not cheat on you. Apply the same logic to her past relationship. Cheating may not be able to be justified morally, but it CAN be rationalized logically. If she was minimally attracted to her beta ex and knew he was gonna stick around even if she cheated on him by riding the Alpha carousel - well, what else can you expect? Women, and all humans, are 99% animal and 1% human. Understand the animal, and you understand the human
The bad news is, women are hypergamous, not monogamous. All women are acutely aware of the social fluctuations around them. If she becomes more attracted to another guy, she will dump you and/or cheat on you. It’s simply a matter of fact. A lot of guys are in fact, stunned by this. They can’t understand how a wife could cheat on her husband after 3 years or how a girlfriend could cheat on a faithful hubby. The answer is – hypergamy doesn't give a shit. Men, with our logical minds, tend to see it as a matter of equity. How could you cheat on someone when you’ve INVESTED so much in them? But for a girl, it comes down to attraction and nothing more. And attraction is a volatile emotion.
All this being said, you must remember that the risk of “cheating” is apparent in every relationship. No girlfriend is every 100% faithful to her boyfriend in the sense that every girl is susceptible to being attracted to another guy, just as every guy can be seduced by another girl. It would be naive to think otherwise. Your job is not to seek security – that is an illusory ambition. The more you try for it, the more you act on your jealousy, the more insecure you get, the more your girlfriend is likely to cheat on you. Your job is only to screen out women you think are LIKELY to cheat and pick out women who tend to behave less promiscuously. After that, it’s just a matter of ATTRACTION. No amount of “confronting” a girl or being protective will keep her from cheating. A girl has 1 egg. She will cheat on you if she thinks a different guys sperm is more valuable. The only other major factor that keeps a girl from cheating on her hubby is rapport. A girl will not leave her boyfriend of 6 months who is an Alpha in his own right for a one-night fling with a Rockstar for the sake of her hypergamous drive; just as most husbands wouldn't cheat on their wives for a quick fix with a 6 for the sake of their polygamous drives.
And you might be wondering “how about girls that cheat for other reasons besides attraction? Nymphomaniacs, or out of revenge?” That’s where screening comes in. You assess a girl as best as you can for loyalty and a tolerable level of insanity before considering her as LTR material. After that, it’s all in the marbles.
Don't know if im re-hashing something here, so apologies, but this quotation, this post is genuinely textbook stuff. This is exactly what i figured out in my first long relationship without ordering my thoughts as succinctly. This is everything you need to know. My girl was promiscuous, mad in bed, cheated on previous bf. But i was dominant as hell and she was the most faithful girl in the world, wouldnt go out unless I was okay with it etc etc, really encouraging me to make all her decisions for her.
Thats why this post is so brilliant because its saying to pretty much any one who is worried about their partner cheating that your worries are futile, but actually that you have a very ACTIVE role in whether or not you are cheated on. Its not 100% but if youre dominant with the girl youre with, and screen out the crazy ones, youve in a very very strong position. This is the advantage we have over girls, who are just slaves to their emotions and will stay with a man who shows poor commitment, due to our LOGICAL minds, which quite often form the downfall for beta and clueless men, we can dramatically minimise the chance of being cheated on.
Brilliant post for a number of reasons.
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