| Life Fuck Up Report
This is a story that happen before I discover the community. It's THE reason of all the massive change that I did in the last few months. For those who dont know, here is the story of me and my ex-girlfriend.
So since grade 6, I was about 12 years old, I had this huge crush on this one girl. She was a red head, with a bit of skater style, jeans and listen to rock music. The ultimate cute girl next door. Back then, I was this shy and quiet kid that rarely socialize with other kids. I spend most of my time playing classical music and computer games. I never got the chance to ask her out because she moved to another part of town and I would be too chicken anyway...
6 years has past, I was in the middle of my Cegep, studying to become an engineer, I was still shy but I was into a lot of school activities so people never picked on me. One of these days I find my grade 6 year book. I decide to add everyone on my class to my Facebook. I find her FB and add her in. From there, I start to chat her up. I been trying to invite her to do something together for about an entire year. That never happen. I pretty much give up and went to Toronto for another 3 months
Sometime, universe arrange things for you. So I was at the train station, omw to a friend'S house and sitting right beside me, that girl. I was surprised. We start to chat up and catch up on each and other. Turn out she is studying in a hairdresser school about 5 minutes walk from my place. At that time, I was way too shy to ask her number. All I did was " same time, same place, tomorrow." on a piece of paper. So I went to pick her up at her school and walk all the way to the train station every day for a hole month. Finally around May, I invited her to a bar to see my teacher's live band. At that time, I still doesn't have her number. So we went to the show, at one point we want to move to the front, I took her hand and never let it go. Idk what I did but she hug me then we danced a bit together and she kissed me.
At that time, she was still the GF of another guy, I made it clear that I didn't want to date her if she is not single. (happy to see even back than I have moral standard) She ask me to come to her sister's place with her that night. So we were sleeping in the same room that night, but I didn't touch her at all, I was sleeping on the ground. That how AFC I was.
2 days later, she invites me to a friend's house chilling, Again later that night, we were sleeping in the same sofa bed, I was very close to her but again, I made no move on her.
About a week later, she broke up with her BF and didn't go to school that hole week. I waited every single day at the metro station for her. Finally one day, she show up and I ran up to her and kiss her. She moved to her mother's house and I have to travel about 2h everyday to her place. Yes at that point I laid her. So I was working from 7am to about 4pm, by the time I went to her place, it's about 6pm. For an entire summer, I dropped all my friends and been only with her.
However, I did pretty much everything with her, from a romantic date at some fancy restaurant to funny date at laser tag place to traveling together. I even turn down University of Toronto's offer for her. Instead of going for Forensic Science, I decide to stop school.
By the end of the summer, we decided to move in together. so for this to happen, I need a job, so I give up 6 months of school and start to work as a salesman. I lost pretty much all my friends and social life but I was in love.
I start to going out more often with her, clubbing with her but she seems to be a very flirty person. we start to have our night out differently, I have my "boy's night out" she have hers too. That when I meet my first wing Oz.
I start to get more confuse about my relationship, there is one time, she was super drunk at a bar, Fouf. Her friend call me and I went on a taxi in the middle of the night to "rescue" her. She was hang after some random dude, and I come in cant even bring her on the taxi, end up in a hotel beside the club. That night, I was really shocked and question myself about wtf I'm I doing here.
I keep up the relationship for about 1 more month, we were fighting all the time. I still went out and do approaches however nothing more than conversation and never pickup numbers. Around February, I finally decide to finish with her.
However, she still lives with me for 1 more month. That month was the most painful month of my life. That month she hook up with 2 guys that she label them as "her friends" and she did it in our apartment. the first one, I didn't know till last month, she told me in a email. But the second one, I caught them naked in my bedroom. Needless to tell, the day after the event, I packed all her stuff and put them in the living room. I thrown out my bed sheet, my pillow and clean up my room like 3 times. From that point on, I did never want to see her again. I can still remember the last thing she told me : "I fell really sorry for you, cause you will never find someone better or anywhere close to me and please don't come back to me and beg me to take you back cause I won't."
It's almost been 4 months now, at first even if I go out, I can't take any number cause I felt bad and guilty. Its only recently, I start to game properly. Idk if its because of the anger that carry me over or the need of change. But w.e it is, its really start to make big changes in my life.
I thought that write this post will give me some closure and clear my head. Damn, I really dont know where I would be without all this. I really love you guys, I love this community and w.e happen. Thank you!
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