Ehh... I such at talking to people! Its so hard to roll with the conversation when nothing comes out. I've been socially isolated fro most of my life and I want to break my barriers asap.

My problem is that.. I don't know what to say. or rather, nothing comes out. At times I can just talk on and on and on, but most of the time, i just sit bak nad hear others talk about things I don't know. It SUCKS.

being isolated shouldnt stop you from talking to people. you have a mouth,use it, dont think of something to say before hand, say what comes to mind, if you run out, change the subject, if you dont have a subject to change it to, relate your previous subject to something in your life

_________________
I'd rather go out swinging than strike out looking.
A lifestyle is a terrible thing to waste.
What I say when I see her is what I'll say.

Me I'm just naturally the loudest person wherever I go. I grew up watching Comedians like Eddie murphy and Bernie Mac and Katt Williams. Those guys would be the center of attention wherever they went. Think of someone whose very talkactive and gets a positive reaction from people how they would handle similar situations.
you can talk about the simplest thing and have a convo.
example of show stealer i had I was talkin about if one of my girl friends she about a 7.8HB was an music entertainer and how it makes average looking women look that much better and how dudes would give they left testicle for a night with them. Then somehow it got on to Lance Armstrong only being able to give a 1/4 of a testicle for a night with the olsen twins since he's only got 1 left.....anyways it was funny and entertaining

I can talk about a wide range of nonsense and have it be entertainment
you just got to open your mouth

I'm at the point i can make my grocery list sound interesting

_________________
typical-pua-forum-post-lol-vt14412.html

First thing is... stop feeling sorry for yourself. I just started a thread in the general forum on 'the sphinx of imagination'. It is amazing, does a great job with inner game. You should listen to it 10+ times to get the full benefit. No experience will be the same.

Back to your conversation skills. Some people are born great looking and other ugly. I think this is the same with personality. Some are born with a great personality and conversation skills, and others well... not so much. But the beauty of this is this can all be cultivated and changed. But it is not gonna happen with you sitting on your computer reading hours and hours of posts from self proclaimed gurus and mPUAs. Not to knock anyone, they have great advice, but you have to make the change. SO get out there and talk to people.

Check out this perspective... a guy who dazzles and sparkles in conversation. He can be seen across the bar, effortlessly chatting up and charming men and women alike. He is loved by most, and envied by all. He is the leader of his group and center of his social circle. He technically and theoretically has an infinite number of subjects to talk about. But this is not the case. He does it all on spontaneity.

How you ask? It's pretty simple actually. Isolate every word with meaning in a sentence someone spits back at you and you have an instant topic of conversation. For example:

'Yesterday I was went out with friends to this bar, and there was this fight outside between this fat girl, a skinny girl, and this bouncer who had an english accent'.

The words of meaning in this are: yesterday, went out, friends, bar, fight, fat girl, skinny girl, bouncer, english accent.

From that one sentence, I have 9 possible subjects to talk about. If you use them in the same sentence, you can take any of those words and reframe your conversation to suit you. Now I can write and talk about this for hours with detail but I think you understand the basic concept. Any questions?

_________________
'Elaine that was the yam yam'

wow, that's pretty awesome stuff! I never really noticed that. After looking back at good conversations, I started to realize everything you were saying.

One more thing, would asking to many questions do any harm?

Take a look at the question you are asking me, its a what if question? What if she doesn't like my shoes? What if she hates my cologne? What if I ask too many questions? Stop asking the what if, and start asking how can I take control of the situation?

If taking control of the situation means bombarding her with questions, then do so. If it mean listening, the listen. There is nothing wrong with asking questions. But don't you dare ask the dreaded 'So, what do you do?' question. When you have built attraction, and comfort, then you can move to those boring questions... but keep them at a minimum. Make your questions personal. For example:

Girl: Well I moved to this country from France 6 years ago.

Guy: 6 years ago huh, I think when you were on the plane to America, I was in the principles office for wearing a halloween mask in class.

(She should laugh and talk about school or some weird experience from school, masks, or something about the statement you just made. If you didn't deliver this right or keep her interested with your body language then...)

Guy: What do you like most about america?

See, now you are restarting this conversation because she has done a piss poor job of doing so. You shouldn't ask a question with a yes or no answer. Ask an open ended question, make statements. This is the way old friends talk. Did this clarify things a bit? Any more questions?

_________________
'Elaine that was the yam yam'

being social is a skill that you have to learn. some people might naturally be better then others but still they have learnt how to be social. the problem is that you havent practiced enough at it to keep the conversation flowing. most likely you frreeze up because you are nervous. heres what you do.

1. start off slow. set a goal to talk to 3 people tomarrow that you have never talked to before. go some place where you can interact. a grocery store, music shop, a busy food court,a mall, any place where there are people. then talk about anything to anyone. say your buying cheese at the grocery store. you walk up and look at the 4000 different things of cheese. then look over to the nearest person and say "wow so many choices, what do you think cheader or colby jack?" it doesnt matter what you say. just get comfortable talking to people after that you can focus more on the content of your conversations.

2. when you are in a conversation with a group of people. pay attention to the person who is leading it. take note of how that person transistions from different topics during the conversation to keep it moving. if its a topic that you dont know anything about. then ask. say the group is talking about a great band you have never heard. ask "wait.. what was the name? i dont think i ever heard of them. what type of music is it?" then they will respond to you and you say something else.. "cool, dont listen to much country music, i like something a little more hardcore!" be more of an active participant in the conversation. you can also move the subject to something you are more vocal about.

3. TALK TO EVERYONE! seriously the only way you will get better is to socialize. talk to the cute girl at the coffee shop about the difference between a latte and a cappuccino. if you have a hard time talking to cute girls talk to old people and ugly people... old people can go on for every about anything! it would supprise you.. it might even be an interesting conversation.

_________________
~the great thing about america is you dont have to listen if you dont want to~

Yes, it did. You've made your point quite clear and I'm applying it at this very moment.

It's not the one on one conversation i'm worried about .Those are fine as far as thing's go. If I had known this earlier, it certainly would of helped my first sarges. not that I didn't have a conversation, i would just be more aware as to what I can do to control it.

It's having a conversation with a group that troubles me. There are times where I don't know what the group is talking about. That's what traps me really, I just end up being a listener. If theres anything i want to find out beyond what you told me... it's this:

Taking control when the group around you is talking about something you don't have a clue to.

I have an easier time with sarges, because I get the center of attention. What I'm having trouble with is just... casual talking .With acquaintances "im fine with friends", and people whom I share little to know experiences with in general."

If I start the chat, i can handle myself well enough there. But If theres a conversation going on already, I don't seem to know to take control of it and at the same time, appear to be someone worthy of attention.

I don't know if I made myself clear, but thats all I can type right now. I have to get back at what I'm doing.

P.S. ugly kid, thanks for your advice. I'm considering it at the moment and I'm eager to see just what kind of social skill's i'll get tomorrow.

_________________
'Elaine that was the yam yam'

That is all. i believe I have everything I could ask for. The rest is up to experience. Thanks for your time.