ive got a thread on this too but i'll post it here fo you too

ive been dating a girl for 4 months on off and have finally got it stable.
After last nights best sexual antics she asked me how long i thought we'd last i said a while, she said forever; cute i know. But then she went on to tell me she didnt want kids and get married, i searched around and found out that maybe it was a shit test, i told her i didnt mind not getting married but having kids is important to me, i continued to ask her what scare her about having kids she said child birth, i said thats fine and mentioned adoption etc, at the end i said to her it sounds like she doubting the future and we went back and forth with her saying she didnt doubt it and i said well dont try and scare me.

I really want to have a word about it to her but when i attempted it she said "yeh i stuck by my guns".

i want to bring it up to say that it is very important to me and not to doubt the future and take each day as it comes i know she may not want those things now but it's something that she may change her mind on as it has done with one of my family members, also it is way too soon to be talking about it shes 19.

Top-Hat

all woman want children etc(.. they don't conciously choose to have children ( at certain ages of course ) it's just instincts and genes. you are mature and it's too soon to talk about this topics especially when you regard her age. don't take it too serious.. how woman respond depends on their biochemistry , emotional state, previous experiences , age, context etc.

it's not a red flag and not anything to worry about... also you have been dating for 4 months - that's not really long ( if you get my point )

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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thank you my problem is not what she said because i know it is way too early to be certain that this is not what she wants but it seems as if saying this is for a reason, should i not bring it up at all and just leave it as i know it's something i'd be ready for in the future not now?

ok you suspect there may be a underlaying issue beneath the whole thing she said - you picked up a weird vibe... could be true... but again she is 19, and if there is any issue behind it, it likely wouldn't be a big one, could just be fear or something like that. yeah don't bring it up , just leave it for the future..

in nature everything changes, everything is dynamic so are people....humans are slaves of instinct, genes and hormones anyway, don't worry about having children.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I didn't acknowledge the things she said being retarded, but the matter itself (because it came like lightning from clear skies). It didn't add up. Her issues are trust issues ( witch she's dealing with). As for the reasons. first of all, she told me shes a bit embarrassed, and i'd think shes wierd, if she told me (the BS reasons that the subject is about). I convinced her otherwize and she told me she feels herself getting attached too quickly too much, calling me every day, talking for hours and stuff. Anyways thats not an issue anymore. I can see that this topic could seem pretty bad: first case scenario: shes not into me, second: shes really broken.(loose/loose) None of them are the case. She's really chill and i am kinda picky. All that said, i do want a relationship with her

But i have another question, Lode. As i said everything has been chill and good. Today we got talking about relationships in general (our previous ones and stuff) And at one point she said, that people (some of her SPAM, coursemates and friends, basically close friends) have been asking her if we're together now and that she doesn't know how to answer them. When i asked her what she had replied, she told (to her friends) "i dont know, we'll see".

We have sex, we like each other a lot, she shows affection in public, we dont meet other people and its been (the relationship) like a month or so. Its my second relationship and i don't know how i should handle this situation. I don't care much about labeling relationships, but I cant see why she doesn't say we're together. Whats the deal? Opinions? Advice?

PS! Thanks for the previous answers

of course you expect an answer..

however i have a question for you: Why does it bother you ?

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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First off, it didn't , but when i walked home, the words "We'll see" were the ones that got me thinking. Like shes expects me to prove myself or to be nice or smth like that. I wanna be the one wh0 calls the shots and says stuff like "we'll see". Writing this i see that her saying "we'll see" communicated to me like she calls the shots and THAT was what disturbed me, i conclude.

Til now i have said (when we talked about this) to her to tell others what she wants and that i dont care and that what we are or do isn't anybody's business, expect us. Should i do something dfferently? Or i shouldnt analayse things so much and give a fuck

If I'm supposed to wait till you're done with the ongoing conversation, I'm sorry.

But I'd like to pose a question for public debate (or rather, your take on it).

I'm new here, as you can see, and I've introduced myself in the introduction section named "and then i was here"(can't post links yet).

So I won't waist more space about me specifically.

My GF and I have been dating for 4 months, 3 of which we've been officially "together". Now, I've fallen pretty hard for this girl, and I'm at the stage where I can't imagine my life without her(well, I can, I just dont want to).

Question:
During the last 3 months, we've been together at least 4 to 5 days a week(seems like everyday), it feels like we've been together always. and everything seemed great from my point of view. - we've been avoiding sex the last month because she has some sort of fungus infection down there, she has however been satisfying me orally.

We've been integrated into each others families, we've been abroad together, we've even been planning the future together (it's gone fast as shit, but she's 18, so she's still at the one true love stage of life, I'm a couple of years older so I expect the worst and hope for the best in general).

it's all been going fine, fast, but fine.

the problem came very suddenly (as she, like most girls, didn't bother to bring shit up, and just let it build). She thinks we've been going to fast and that she needs a little bit of space. she's specifying that she doesn't want to break up, and she still "loves" me. But she wants to go back to the beginning, where we dated and to use her words "were boyfriend and girlfriend, not husband and wife". She thinks we're too clingy and see each other too much, as we wake up together, spend most of the day together, go to sleep together ect.

Now, the issue I'm having is that she's the one who took it all too fast, she's been planning our future, she's been wanting me over. I have no quarrel with taking a little "pause", and dial down how much we're in each other faces. I'm like most guys in love, whatever the heck she wants, she can have it, caus I'm not dumb enough to want to lose the great thing we have together over issues this small.

Now, I've gone against my better judgment and apologized for not "seeing" the "signs" that I should not constantly be with her (I frankly blame that I'm older and ready to live with her, where as she's younger and not there yet).

And we have agreed to go back to the beginning and what not cause apparently she still loves me. I'm just dumbfounded at how a person can love another person and need breaks from that person being in the house (been together for 3 months, not 30 years after all).

So I'm seeking input on my situation, as In the ring, my corner sees things that I don't see when I'm fighting - figure it's the same here, as the solution has proven to be fairly counter intuitive in the past.

Cheers!

could be you have a underlaying issue - maybe you are just into the pick-up frame of mind '' regain the control and frame etc'' .. could be you are more serious then her when it comes to relationships - which causes some insecurity on your part.

not giving a fuck would be the best thing to do.. im not the guy who tells someone to manipulate the situation because that would be even more harmfull to your psychological health - forcing her to answer or to tell people your together doesn't work . Letting it go is the best thing. If you have the feeling she is expecting to prove yourself you do not have enough emotional connection going, woman can look rude or like they hate you when you don't have emotional connection going in relationships.

if you have alot of doubt you can tell her not to see eachother for 2 weeks, that is what i would do if i had alot of doubt going, just to see her reaction and to find out where i would stand in the relationship. if she is angry she cares - because she is emotionally attached.. if she really doesn't a fuck ( no emotional response ) then you really have to reconsider the emotional value on her side.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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fungal infection .. wtf .. dump her !!! .. no, just joking
imagine your life without her .. stop thinking she is your property - you are self hypnosis for disaster. horrible mindset... she cannot have it , she needs to fight for it - don't give her what she wants for free straight away. Woman like emotions and emotional connection - what happens if you are too available - yes you are giving stuff away too fast without sparking any emotions... you are disregarding you own needs to satisfy her, that's not really self-love isn't it ? imbalance between loving yourself and loving someone else will surely give problems long term.

you love her more than she loves you - you are more needy because she actually asked some space where as you didn't see it coming.... give her space - give her more then she needs... tell her not to see eachother for 2 weeks because you have to do some soul searching. in those 2 weeks you should evaluate you attachement, where you are at and what you need to change... you cannot change if you run the same patterns over and over... you cannot be emotionally attached more to someone else - without them having the same emotional attachement... could be she is too young to feel or understand such connection ( what i think ).

the counter intuitive descision.. take a 2 week break...meet again after 2 weeks and setup different rules about seeing eachother too much. just with martial arts you need to discipline yourself and do the counter intuitive.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I've become too lovey-dovey and I've just realized I'm afraid to lose her. If I keep this up, it will push her away and I'll lose her. I need tips on how to keep her interested and for me to go back to the old me which was simply, not giving a fuck about the relationship. I think we txt too much, and I reply back "love you too" too much, and I need to be the dominant one again.

Any tips?

yeah give yourself and your life purpose more attention than her or your relationship... you don't need to be dominant it's just a matter of perspective and focus. Relationships make people feel significant so they get really attached to it - you have to draw the significance from your inner game - from your inner core. a realtionship is just the cherry on the mountain it shouldn't be the opposite.

it's just a ego thing, everything external is... just change the rules and persue your own purpose instead of hanging into the relationship like it's your last straw. IF you give more attention to the relationship than yourself you will become a less attractive person because you don't give yourself enough attention to keep developing, on long term the relationship will suffer because of this.

if you have a girlfriend you give her love and you fuck her like never before... you can't do that if you see eachother too much or if you give her more attention than yourself - because you are the one to give and if you give too much you don't have any energy to give anymore. If you want to be loved you need to become someone who can be loved and admired - the only way to do that is to become a mature and responsible human being that is capable of working through relationships without losing himself, his energy or his confidence.

You need to draw her into your world , and you can do that by making your world interesting - learning to express emotions like renaissance paintings and poems but also to make you world more interesting by taking up new hobbies and ideas. It's not a matter of being dominant - don't get completely lost in her world - that's what frames are about... which reality is more dominant or how much do you allow someone to project their worlds onto you ?

Let's just say if you want to be more dominant... if you want to be such thing you need to give yourself more attention. Self development is giving yourself more attention - having a internal frame of reference instead of looking to other people about what to do or making descisions. if you are afraid of doing this and dealing with your GF just tell her what you are doing - just tell her you want to do something new for yourself or you want to do something different - expressing yourself clearly without any compromise is being dominant... it's being yourself in a dead honest and ruthless fashion.... people will respect you for it if you express it in a constructive way.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

Hi there;

Bit of a routine question here so I'll try to word it as concisely as possible.

FIRST GIRL

Broke up with my ex due to her cheating. We where in bed together and I woke up at 3am to her sending a text on her phone to a guy. Can't remember what it said exactly but it was about them kissing and it had loads of xxxxxx at the end. Long story short she denied it the next morning, cried, got defensive and said how could I accuse her of such stuff.

She claimed the guy was gay and wouldn't let me meet him. I trusted my gut, dumped her and the day after she was dating a guy who coincidentally had the same name as the gay guy....

Needless to say this fucked with my head a fair bit because I actually was a very trusting bf!

SECOND GIRL

Cheated on me again but she was a freak and I saw it coming. She was mainly a rebound for me but the cheating still hurt.

CURRENT GIRL

Been dating for 3 months. Never had a fight or an issue. Dates are always good fun and drama free.

Recently I've been over analysing everything that I do and that she does. I know it's bad but I feel my trust in girls has been broken as my trust previously has been misused by other girls. Now I've not let this spill over into the relationship.

Though last night I made a mistake...

I called around after work to drop off a few things plus to grab a quick kiss off her.

It was a good fun meeting but while we where talking in the kitchen a text popped up on her phone and she read it and started laughing. I took a quick glance and caught the word "kissing".

Well my mind suddenly shot to that night of waking up beside my ex and I freaked.

I didn't mention anything until I was at the door when I asked..."is everything alright between us?"

She seemed shocked at my question but remained calm and said "of course it is, why?"

Me realising my mistake said "oh no reason it's ok" gave her a kiss then left.

It dawned on me that without seeing the whole text that I had no right to jump to conclusions so I phoned her and explained why I asked!

I thought it was only fair considering my question would be bouncing around in her head! I explained what happened with my ex and how that made my mind suddenly think "ohh crap it's happened again". Though I also said that i quickly realised that I had been dumb asking is everything ok.

She was calm throughout and said she's glad I asked because it would of played on my mind if I hadn't.


Do you think I have done any majour damage and what might be the fix?

How to get back with my gf? We have been datin for 5 months and we took a break before coz she thinks she needs to concentrate on her study's, we got back together a week later becoz I freezes her out and acting like I can move on, after we got back things were fine but recently same situaltion happenes again and she said ljbf and that I an too needy and clingy , which I wasn't b4, how can I get her interest again ?

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