I don't know if this belongs here, but here it is.

I just broke up with my girl friend today, due to some reason and long story short. We live pretty far from each other, almost 1 and a half hour, 2 buses and a train to get to my place. Her parents don't really like the idea of her coming home late and also has to take multiple buses by herself at night. They wants us to not see each other anymore. This is the reason one.

The second reason is she is a pretty insecure person due to her past, and thought my friends don't like her and will talk things behide her back and judging her, but the truth is I was lying to her. (*I know it sounds complicated, I could if anyone want me to explain the whole thing, though it's a really long story.)

I know she is pretty upset about her parents and "my friends thing". And I also feel like we are falling apart so I went all the way to her town to talk to her today. She told me her parents still don't like her seeing me but she will keeping trying to convince them, in the meantime we might have to "take a break"..... (break up for now and see what happens later). So I was thinking since we are breaking up anyway, I might as well tell her the truth about me lying to her, hope that I could fixed her self esteem. She was shock and confused. I asked her if she still gonna keep trying to convince her parents, she said "I'll think about it". We hug and say goodbye after that.

I know she's hurt that I lied to her. We left after half an hour, she changed her relationship status to single on facebook.

So my question is there anyway I get her trust back and get back with her. I know it takes time, but I'm willing to do it.

Any advice would be appreciated guys.

You need to give more details about everything that happened. This description is too vague for us to give you any advice. Everything is salvageable no matter the circumstances, so rest assured that if you provide enough detail, a solution is available.

Okay I'm giving you all the details you want.

Me and her met online (POF), we've been together only a month. We talked about almost everything, our friends, our ex and even our sex life history. I told her that I had a really bad experience with a girl before, that makes me can not fully trust a girl since then. And so did she had bad experience with guys.

So a month ago, we started to date. I'm so suspicious that I need to make another fake POF account just to see if she's still on that site talking to other guys. I found out that she's still consistently going on there. So I made up a "friend" of mine that saw her still going on that site, she didn't really explain why, she said her account should be hidden, then she deleted her account to prove it to me that I just overthink it.

A month past by everything is fine. We still pretty much talk about everything, which I think it was totally a stupid move. I told her that one of my friend told me to break up with her due to the distance. She said she understand and it's fine if that's the reason I break up with her. I comforted her and told her that I'm not gonna do that.

Everything back to normal until last Thursday, it was my birthday.... I had a hard time finding a place to celebrate with her and all my friends, cause she's the only one who's underage. She feels bad that we all have to go to a restaurant instead of a pub because of her, but we all had a really good time that night.

However things changed all of the sudden after my birthday. Due to my birthday dinner, she went home late that night and her mom really worried about her always coming home late. (That is why her parents don't want her to see me after that night). She told me about it and we both upset because of this. After that night, I login my another fake Okcupid account (I know.. I was still checking on her). Saw her listed as single, I was so mad and disappointed, thought she's looking for another guy already, a day right after her "parents problem".

So I used the same excuse as last time, told her my "other friend" saw her on Okcupid. This time she was kinda unset and try to explain to me why she's on there, She said her friend is showing her a guy and she has to re-activate her account in order to see it. And I believed and trust her cause I know what kind of girl she is, but after that she started to think my friend don't like her or think she's a cheater. (*Cause she thought she got caught twice by my friend on a dating site while she's with me) And I also told her the things my friends said about her before..... my friends said "she's too young for you, and she won't be serious about this relationship" So she started to feel like they are judging her by her age (she thinks it's her fault that we couldn't go to a pub and they are talking behide her back). At this point, she's completely crush and she doesn't know how to face my friends anymore.

Few days later,. She's still upset, doesn't wanna talk to me no matter how hard I try to explain to her my friend aren't judging her. I felt like we are falling apart, so I deiced to go see her today and tell her that I lied to her. I lied to her about how I stalked her on dating site and made things up because of my trust issues, told her that it's all my fault making her thinks my friend are judging her.

And the rest you already know, we broke up, and she's still pretty upset about me lying to her.

I know it sounds terrible of me, but I really like her and wanna fix this. Thanks.

Relationships are based on trust. You should off have trusted her and have a strong inner game so you really do not think about her cheating on you. I know where your coming from though about checking up on her, i was like this as well but all this does to you is more pain and negative thoughts. Talk to more girls and get some options for yourself and you will feel 25x times better and not stalk this one girl anymore.

My advice would be to stop contacting her for a while and let her miss you/think about the good times you guys had. She will text/contact you, trust me! Might take a day or a few weeks but it will happen.

The more you will push the harder she will run.

Based on your story i do think that this girl is a little to immature/young for a long term relationship due the fact she changed her status to single and with the parents situation. My own experience told me that underage girls get bored after a couple of weeks and want a new guy, they either cheat or act aloof towards you.

Keep us updated man

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Thanks Furiox, I know what you mean about her being immature, she's 18 turning 19 this year (I'm 23). Plus she has a really strict parents as well. But still I think I did a lot of damage on her that I can't even forgive myself for that, and I'm willing to do anything to fix this.

I was actually thinking of doing that too, not contacting her a few days, but will she lost interest and moved on if I do so (like you said she's still young), should I at least let her know that I still want her and will fight for her before stop contacting her.


Thank you again, I'll keep you guys updated.

I know it's kinda long to read, but I need some more advice to handle this situation.

If you have any thoughts please let me know, much appreciate.

So yesterday was my grad, and I posted something like "Happy Graduation day!" on facebook, she liked my status, plus she messaged me at night saying "Congrats on your grad. Proud of you", I haven't reply to her yet.

It's only been 3 days, and she already contacted me first. Is that just a "Friend" thing for saying that? Should I keep stop contacting her, let her miss me more?

So it's been more than a week now, I messaged her the first time yesterday, made her laugh and had a good conversation at the beginning. She said I look nice on my Grad photos and asked how was my Grad.

So I decided to ask her to hang out, she ask why do I wanna go out, I said cause I wanna see her and she kinda agree to meet up. Then we talk about something else, conversation went dead, so I cut her off said I need to go, text me on the weekend and see which day is good for both of us.

And she said
"I'll see, depends how I feel as well", I ask her how she's feeling. She replied "Yeah, if I even want to see you in person. Not to sound too harsh here, but you reallllly damn well hurt me. Don't know if you could tell last time we talked."

She also said
"I really wish you kept that whole thing to yourself or we would of never been here. I thought I could trust you and everything. I was happy, I really was. thought you were pretty perfect in my eyes at the time. But then you broke my trust and kinda messed around with my confidence level. You know how many other guys who would love to be with me right now but I chose to give you the chance instead? Lot's of people were friggin' happy to see me go back to single, not giving a fuck I just got hurt by this. I feel like a toy. It's like this to be honest... you hurt me pretty bad, so should I give you another chance, or someone else. That's how I am thinking at the moment. And I have no clue what to do right now"

I told her I learnt my lesson and hope she will forgive me, and give me one last chance, I'm still that guy that she initially liked.

Then she said
"I really do hope you learnt your lesson, Ill talk to you tomorrow though. Im goign to bed, g'night"


I feel like there's nothing I can do now, and I'm so confused cause I know she still cares and have feelings for me, she likes all my status on facebook and shit. But why is she say something like that to make me feel bad and trying to hurt my feelings

Please I really need some advice right now, what you guys think, what should I do? I really want her back.

youve acted needy big time, its gonna take a guy with alot more experience then me to help you out here but i can say you have handed her control of the situation, i love my girlfriend to pieces but if she ever says she wants a break theres no way i'd be texting her asking if she wants to meet and to give me one more chance, either she did the chasing or it wouldn't happen

Yes I did, and I know it.

I've been ignoring her the last week, feel like if I don't do something about it, she will think I don't want her and move on and never look back. Plus it's me that lying to her first.

If shes into you at all she wont move on just because you ignore her for a bit, only thing i can think of that would maybe help is tell her either to get back with you or leave you alone, thats what i did with my current girlfriend and it worked, but i was totally prepared to lose her

I don't know if that would work, cause we already officially broke up, not like we are still together and not just talking to each other. I think I already loose her.

op. I've read your posts and I'm gonna help.

DUDE you are closely getting close to the friendzone. don't get distant.
I disagree that you need to back off. DON'T because she's fragile and another PUA might target her.
When she said I don't known what to do it was the time you should ACT. DO SOMETHING. it WAS the time.
you could have her back in that time very easily by making something to demonstrate your love for her. something BIG and romantic. she would forgive you asap and she wouldn't need the temporary separation.

She likes you so WTF are you doin???
wake up men. you are very close to lose her forever.
you need to make a move. she's waiting for it. don't except her to do it something! you were the one who failed. she wants you to apologize and to demonstrate your love. you need to do it asap and in great style. if you fail or if you make the wrong move you'll lose her forever to the friendzone.
My advice is to do something surprising and romantic, gf love surprises.
It needs to be unexpected and don't forget to say sorry.
AND very important don't forget to remember her the good times you had together.for moments transport her mind to the past in the best moments you were together.

if you do things right you'll have her back.
Hope you are still in time. If not it will be a LOT harder to get her back. Might be even impossible.

She is playing with you man! I think she still likes you based on your posts. If she really hated you and forgot about you she would not like your face-book statuses or contact you so be happy about that.

Now the wurst thing you can do is apologize for everything as this would give her all the power, don't do it please. Also do not beg for a chance or act needy like you did, go cold for a few days ( completely ignore her for lets say 3 days ) and keep posting good stuff from yourself, maybe some hot girls or you having fun with friends.

After the 3 days she will probably have texted you. Now ask her to meet for drinks just to chill and catch-up. If she denies freeze out for another 3 days and try again. Do not act like a little bitch when she says no or why do you want to hang out?

She will not just move on bro if you stop contacting her, it will do the opposite. But by keep contacting her and giving her attention your value lowers and lowers. By acting busy and not caring your value grows and grows.

Let us know how things work out!

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

This sounds like a girl typing. This is exactly what the biggest AFC would do to get a girl back. I will bet 150$ that it will not work out.

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.