Well i want to get out of the friend-zone with someone that i'm really good friends with and legit care about... and i've read that its possible if you follow a few steps and switch things up a bit.. but i'm not sure.. has anyone done this before? Do you know if the whole "hanging out with other chicks, changing shit about yourself.. and try to get her jealous thing" actually work?

.. I was always friends with her for quite some time and i was always the nice guy type that always responded to her needs and always tried to be comfortable friends with her and i clearly went about things in the wrong way back then, cause i obviously wanted to get with her more than friends from the time that i met her but back then i was always scared of making moves and didn't know how to go about things.. and never wanted to do things that made the situation feel awkward, and like.. she gave me hints and times that she liked me back then but i was a total puss about it... mad time passed and one day i just decided to tell her my true feelings for her and it just blew up in my face lol. She clearly expressed she didn't have the same feelings at that point ... I took way to long to make a move and she was honestly just puzzled and freaked out by it. She then took some time away from me and i guess didn't feel as comfortable about the friendship?

Anyway, i fucked up big time there.. and eventually we started talking again and at the time i guess i just accepted being friends with her because i legitimately care about her, and at the same time she actually really cares about me too because there have been a couple of times that i just didn't even want to be friends with her cause i honestly just didnt want to deal with the fact that i couldn't get with her anymore, and tried to stop talking to her completely... and whenever i did that she always got like mad upset and like.. didnt understand it and tried to make sure we stayed friends.



THEN, i started looking shit up from this website, youtube, and other websites and stuff on how to get out of the friendzone with someone. It stated that you have to "disappear" for a while, change things about yourself.. and start spending time with other chicks other than that person. See.. the reason why i feel like this doesn't completely work is because whenever me and her hangout its generally with a few other people all the time. We never hangout alone, and when i chat with her its generally via text or through instant messaging... and when i tried to go about the whole "hang out with other chicks and get her jealous" routine. She just encouraged me..? Anyone have any ideas?



Please don't just troll and say just move on cause its a waste of time or whatevs cause i legit want to get with this chick, thanks

bump

ok man, lets use value as a metric for what the girl sees in you as potential for gain on her part, you will have a certain social market value based on alot of factors

the ''no sex'' zone, rather then the friend zone (because you can have sex with your friends and not date), is usually one of two things

you either have the value but were short on intent and unable to move things forward, in this case, usually the girl will lose interest (she is still attracted, just not interested), when she starts to lose interest, she falls off, becomes less responsive, more likely to flake, but usually still the same in person, when this happens if you keep hanging out and contacting the girl, eventually things will become stagnant and a frame around it being normal for you both to just not flirt or have sex becomes solidified and it just sort of feels weird to sleep together, in this situation you can use numerous tactics to try to flip this, but sometimes it is long gone and the frame is too solid in the girls mind, the impression is made and you are just friends and her vagina can not have girl boners for you...

here are some tactics to re-frame the situation out of the friend zone when you have the value

-start making the girl think of you in a more romantic context, start hitting on other girls around her, show interest in her friends and other girls, talk about sex with her, what you like and dis-like, slow make it comfortable, start slowly introducing more touching and build it up, eventually just keep increasing what is acceptable until you are fooling around (this will only work if she has the compliance built to hang out with you 1 on 1 with no problems)

-drop contact for 2 weeks, do your best to keep yourself as busy as possible, keep your mind away from the girl and clear your thoughts about her, when you come back, just start off with small comments like, you know something is different about you, then start flirting bit by bit, and start escalating, do it like you would do any normal girl from a bar you wanted to pick up and sleep with in one night, just escalate up some compliance, hit on her flirt and talk

^the problem with these two, is that if this was the ''fix'' for your problem, you are probably either needy or insecure and can't escalate due to your fear of not being accepted, so you strive to fill the void and find acceptance from others, in the hopes they validate you and escalate on you, rather then just realize you are good enough and validate them and escalate on them, or you just have an issue with anxiety or have some sort of social disorder or mental problem, maybe just really low social intelligence or some sort of phobia being created by some sort of limting belief, for these situations you have to find your own solutions, I suggest research and professional help

but what about the guys that don't have enough of that precieved ''value'' ?, they stroll the streets all day, shitty number after shitty number, alot of girls say no, and alot of girls say yes, then flake or don't respond, they also don't respond well to physical escalation, why is this?, projecting low value, your image needs improvement, but rather then worry about this, it would be more productive for you to learn to control yourself and maintain a high level of discipline, you must learn to shape your habits, keep getting those shitty numbers, value is subjective, eventually you will find a girl that will find you irreplacibly valuable

but you must cut this neediness out of your soul to meet that girl, you are good enough and you don't need to cling to a specific girl, go out and meet others, start working on yourself until your overall ''value'' as a person has improved leaps and bounds, be a better talker, be a better listener, excell at the sports you like, excell at the hobbies you like, set some goals for things you want to do, accomplish them, be better looking, hit that gym on the regular, get a nice tan, shop once in a while for new clothes that you like that suit you, get haircuts, shower all the time, cut your nails (finger and toe), brush/floss your teeth, clean/moisturize your face on the daily, keep your shit all groomed up and manscape your shit, find some friends and talk to them, find girls on the regular and talk to them, even if you have a girlfriend keep talking to people, if you hate socializing find what you love and get good at it, but make sure it is what you love

Thank you.

ok, i have boldly underlined the things you did wrong,

legitimately cared about her? (please don't take this too harshly but it needs to be said) why the fuck would you legitimately care about a girl your not dating.. fuck legitimately caring about a girl, thats your first way your going to get hurt, look at russle brand, do you think he "legitimately cares about girls" no he couldn't give a fuck about them.. i suggest you watch "ghosts of girlfriends past" if you haven't already, i know its just a movie but its a great eye opener that he doesn't give a shit about girls but he slays puss like no tomorrow.

ill never become just friends with a girl, because
A, you will never sleep with them and
B, you will never sleep with them

period.

YEah dude, there's a lot of advice I could give about working through this situation and trying to salvage hope. But in all truth... you are friends, you're just gonna be friends, and that's all that's gonna happen. Time to move on.