Hi guys, hope you are all well.

I come to you in need of advice.

Around a week ago, whilst drunk, I engaged in a text conversation with a girl (that wasn't my girlfriend) that was pretty sexual. It was mainly me making sexual comments about her.

I regret this massively, and do not want to lose my girlfriend. I feel very guilty but I can deal with that and I've learnt what I really want - my girlfriend and no other girls.

Originally, I hadn't planned to tell her about what happened. However, having thought about it a lot, I now realise that there is a small possibility that she could find out. She doesn't know the girl I texted (an old, but disposable friend) personally, but I fear that it could reach her through word of mouth.

It's unlikely that my girlfriend would ever find out, but I can never guarantee that she won't, which is pushing me to tell her what happened.

Do you guys think I should tell her? If so, how? I do not want to lose her. I want, ideally, for her to be as least upset as possible and for me to lose as little trust from her as possible and of course, I don't want her to break up with me over it.

What do you guys think?

Thanks very much.

NO

Accept your guilt, be a man about it, and don't do it again if you are committing to her. You telling her will 100% end up in a breakup and complications. The best thing you can do if you feel guilty is love her more.

Very grateful for a quick reply. And you're right.

But there is a small chance she'll find out. And I'm not totally convinced she'll end it if I tell her myself, but if she finds out another way, it's over.

If you tell her, she will hold it against you the entirety of your relationship. Every time you go out, every other girl you talk to. Your days are numbered the second you fess up.

Take comfort knowing all you did was text. Listen to Harkness; keep your mouth shut.

Also, why didn't you text your girlfriend when you were drunk? Don't blame it on the drinking: why this girl?

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

I actually think this depends on some things:

What comments were exactly said? Were they the sort of comments like "Yeah, I think you're hot" ... or "I wish I could fuck you right now" ? ...
And, how's your relationship, in terms of trust, and honesty?

Girls, and guys take texting very different, normally, girls don't even care about what they say in texts, and sometimes, if we, as guys read them, we interpret them as flirty or sometimes even over the line, but the girl doesn't even have the intention of sounding flirty.

If the text messages were from the 2nd type, that you were saying that you would like to do things to her, then I wouldn't tell her, erase them, and don't repeat it. But if you didn't said anything too sexual, and your trust levels are high, then tell her.

My girlfriend shows me absolutely every text message, fb message, email message that she gets, sometimes I see a reply from her that in my mind would be flirty, but in hers isn't, something I'm still trying to get used to. But if you two have that kind of confidence within your relationship, tell her.

If she finds out, I don't know your girl, but you can apologize honestly.. tell her you're sorry and that it was only texting, at least you didn't cheated on her.

Discretion is a virtue that women find desirable. Bear your guilt like a man, in silence.. and delete your text message history. You'll be fine.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Best advice so far!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.