Hey all,

I've recently signed up to the forums, so this'll make my first post.

I'd met this girl that lives in my dorm building a while ago, and thought she was pretty cute. Nothing breathtaking, but I figured I'd give it a go.

She'd made most of the initiative, actually suggested and gave me her number before I'd even brought up meeting again. She talks to me online very often, [with her starting the conversation and re-initiating it when I let it simmer down] and generally seems very interested. She's even texted me a couple of times out of the blue.

The thing is - she *never* wants to hang out. I've brought it up several times. I've made sure not to ask her and allow her a chance to shoot me down. I say things along the lines of 'let's meet up for a little bit and get tea,' but even with time constraints and simple suggestions, she's always got some excuse. We'd made plans a few times, but she'll end up calling and saying how she forgot she had to do this, or do that.

I'm not sure what's going on. Is this possibly something she, [and other girls] do, or am I doing something wrong? I'm not sure she's particularly worth all this extra effort, but I'm curious nonetheless.

What i would do is freeze her out for a few days or a week (try to get the freeze out to overlap a weekend). Only pick up if you out at a loud bar or club and wont be able to hear her.

Then talk to her again in a laid back way and use this as an oppurtunity to DHV, amp up comfort and rapport. When you invite her out dont make it exclusive, tell her shes invited to come out with you and a few friends.

Maybe she just isnt comfortable enoguh with you yet to be alone with you, even in a public place. Depends on her excuses.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

I'm with Ka on this with one exception. You have to also amp up the attraction in different ways too. Obviously you can't use kino for that at this point, so use some slight sexual innuendos in your convos with her and see how she takes that.

Thanks, you two. I'll keep those suggestions in mind.

I'm not sure what her deal is. She's told me that she's going to be busy 'til after winter break, which is a weird thing to say, but whatever.

So I'm just going to freeze her out until after that time and then if she still persists with the same routine, I'll just drop it and it'll be her loss.

i had a woman who was 25 and she and i went out twice and she is socially shy the complete oppisite of myself and i went to grab her hand to see if she was interested she pulled away and now avoids me. I told her to kiss my ass and grow the hell up or stay home. Best part is i could care less i have a few more already lined up that are more fun

She's scared.

You need to build trust with her. It may take a while.

Ask her if you can go out with her and her friends. You'll get the added benefit of gaining some social proof.

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imo it looks like she wants you to take control.. it seems that she takes control of everything.. the discussions, etc etc.. try freezing out, but also try messaging her online first on occasion and note the difference. Also, some girls like a guy who won't put up with their bullshit.. at one point try calling her out on being a flake, don't be a douche about it but do it properly.

As for taking control on a meeting.. try a group meeting first or even coffee. Ask what her plans are that week and when she's free.
Once you get a definite time she's free double check with her then tell her "we're going for coffee at two on friday. I'll pick you up at noon (for example)"

also call her out on being a flake and if you have the personality you can tell her that if she's going to flake like that you'll find a cooler girl to stalk or.. or something of the like..


there's 1000s of things you can do man.. take control and make yourself more intersting

_________________
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"I swear to tell you the whole truth, nothing but the blunt truth, so help your ego" i only sugarcoat things for women

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