Wasn't sure where to post this guys but figured this was the most suited place. I'm just gonna go through this quickly as I gotta dash out to work.

I haven't been seeing this girl that long (about a month) and before this situation we'd only had sex once without a condom (we don't get to see each other that often).
The other night we start to get frisky, we put a condom on and get going, however literally seconds after the condom goes on I go soft, it was like 3am we were both tired so decided to leave it until the next morning. Next day comes, same thing happens again, very shortly after it goes on, it goes down. After that we carried on and the sex was great without the condom however I'm wondering why the condom appears to be having such an effect. Without it I'm fine but when it goes on it just ruins it.

Now a little bit of info on the relationship, we've discussed that she's on the pill/injection etc, as well as the fact we've both agreed that if (god forbid) something happened by accident, we'd both be happy going down the abortion route. So sex without a condom isn't too much of a problem in that respect and I'm happy to do it now and then. However for the purposes of being safe in other respects, I wouldn't want us to ONLY have sex without condoms and don't wanna have to constantly think "I hope neither of us has caught anything/she's knocked up/whatever".

Of course the condom may not have been the issue it could've been something else but just incase it is, any advise guys, do tell (footnote though, I'd like to avoid if possible resorting to the little blue pill)

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

Rules for condomless sex

1. You should both get a sexual health check before going without a condom.
2. If you are not exclusive you need to be open about all other sexual encounters.
3. You need to trust her completely. Is she the type of girl to 'forget' her pill, unintentionally or intentionally. Or imagine a situation where she got pregnant but was sleeping with other men. That's going to be a fun 9 months.

Personally I wouldn't go without a condom if we weren't exclusive.

Condoms

Condoms are a pain. Most men hate them. You are horny and ready for sex but then you shift to a practical task of finding, opening, and putting on a condom. It ruins the flow. Keep them close to the bed, open the packet before taking clothes off or get her to keep stimulating you e.g. oral, whilst you are opening the packet. How about getting her to put it on? You just need to keep your arousal level up. Also don't get annoyed if you do go soft. Make a joke of it, chill for a bit and try again. Performance anxiety is a compounding problem. Don't let it start.

Pull out method

If you are going without a condom you could always use the pull out technique. It sounds like a reckless birth control method but research shows when done right it has a 4% chance of pregnancy. Condoms by comparison have a 2% chance. This would reduce further if another method of birth control is used e.g. the pill. It's not a recommended method for unexperienced men as you need to know and be able to control your ejaculation.

Risk taking and abortion

I was having sex with my girl using just the pull out method for the past 6 months. A pregnancy would be a massive thing but between me and her it wouldn't be the end of my world. Can you say that about you, your lady, and situation in life?

Please be aware that an abortion is often a physiological scaring event for a woman. It's also possible that she may change her mind about the abortion once she is pregnant.
That's her right. Again could you deal with that?

You're not only using condoms to avoid pregnancy morons, but also to avoid getting STD's. Most girls I know are on the pill anyway.

See rule number 1.

You might want to try switching brands, have you ever tried a latex alternitive like lambskin or polyisoprene? Lambskin is expensive, but cheaper than the cost of an abortion or AIDS medication

To be honest mate in my opinion condoms aren't that safe anyway, the other day my mate was wearing one.

And he got hit by a bus

Cheers for the responses guys. Just to be clear I know all the stuff about STDs etc and we are both getting checked out next week anyway (we are exclusive aswell) + the pregnancy as I said in my first post is something we've both agrees we don't want and she's not a stupid girl, very switched on.

So yeah this post was mainly just about making things a bit more enjoyable when using a condom. Cheers for the suggestion Night, I'll check those out.

_________________
"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

My ex was a bit of a psycho and the definition of a drama prone "freak". Was always using emotional blackmail to keep me. When I broke up with her she pulled the pregnant stunt. It literally felt like the end of my world and completely destroyed my Christmas! She kept me hanging for a month with that shit until I found out it was a lie...

Thing is, she was on the pill so I wasn't using protection. I'd no reason not to believe her!

If I wasn't exclusive I'd use a condom and use the withdrawal method as I've felt the emotions of getting a girl pregnant that your not in love with! Horrible feeling!!

My current gf has the arm implant which is damn near foolproof thank god

Listen...dont be so stupid! When a girl gets pregnant her hormones drastically change. She might say no abortion now but you really don't know what her choice would really be. I don't care what she's told you.

Just trying to look out for you

do kegels. it will improve your erection quality to use condoms, plus it will improve sex.

This is the basic traing of the taoist method whose principle is that of semen retention.
Rather than being a one shot wonder it's about achieving multiple orgasms
to recirculate your sexual energy back to your body.You reap the health benefits as well as the superior sexual feedback and help the woman achieve satisfaction and orgasm.Read Mantak Chia's "Cultivating male sexual energy " and "Multiorgsamic man" with Micheal Winn.It's an eye opener for western men.

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law of attraction=Your reality is the outcome of your thoughts.

great information for me guys. Thank you for sharing.

Mine is getting this put in within the next couple weeks (may even be days, I forget when she said but I believe she has an appointment for it already set-up). Don't think I don't appreciate the concern and the advice dude 'cause I do.

_________________
"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

I thought we learned in High school... a PUA should not have to deal with this.. He`s smarter than that

Don't be silly put a condom on your willy hahaha that was a grade school thing I learned and it stuck to me even now thought I should post it on here hahahaha