Get this,

I am in a solid relationship which has come up to the four month mark. I do care for her and I really want to stay and try with her. I go back home for four months as the College year is done and we are doing long distance.

Already it is 4 days into long distance that we haven't seen each others faces, (we have SPAM).

Here are the sequence of events that has happened since saying goodbye at her door step

Both cried a lot, very sad and upset since the night before was the best night we ever had together. I walked away crying, she cried, the whole day we texted how hard it is and unfair
Texts, a lot of texts, how much we love each other, how its the hardest thing we have to go through
Texts, SPAM for 2 hours, texts of how much we love each other (repititve but still doing it, good to hear)
Woke up, no text, less texts, but she sent me pictures of herself in email which I had to beg for, normally she wouldnt do that sort of thing. feel like if we mention how hard it is again, i look like a pussy. The texts are dying. Maybe we came off too strong?

I am not going to lie, the amount of texts and times we said it was hard and i love you I think lost its value.

If I am going to do this, I need to know she is always thinking of me. I need to have the control. How do I obtain this? She is very committed to me and see's it as it will last forever which I think is great because that doesn't scare me.

But I need her to want me more than ever now than before and I am asking how do I make this happen. That each day she wants me more.

the-envelope-routine-ldr-game-vt131011.html?highlight

Envelope routine was an idea, let me know

As long as you continue to view relationships as a struggle for control or power you will never have a successful one, nor will you ever gain control and power.

You need to stop using this girl to validate your ego and figure out a way to lead a fulfilling life in her absence. Not only that, but you should be encouraging her to do the same.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

Your frame is sooooo needy that reading your post hurt my brain. Have you learned nothing from reading this forum? Just relax and enjoy your 4 months off. Talk to your girlfriend every couple of days (when you have something to talk about), but otherwise don't worry about it. Go have fun, meet people, and develop a social life apart from your girlfriend.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Please don't do the envelope routine! :(

I can't see that boosting attraction, only killing it as she runs around doing each of your little tasks for her.

You just need to calm down and deal with it on the inside!
Missing your girlfriend is killer, the way to deal with it is become as busy as possible.
Don't text her spilling your guts out all the time.

You need to demonstrate to her that you remain happy and in control!

Yo I understand the good bye crying and what not, but everything after was completely unnecessary.

I agree with 870, relationships aren't about who's in control, who has the stronger frame, who has higher value.

It's about uplifting each other with positive emotions and that both are living a fulfilled life.

I'm in a similar situation with you, I'm heading off to college soon, and I won't be able to see my girl until Thanksgiving or possibly winter break. However, that won't stop me from living my life, not hers.

The best way to make her miss you, is to show that you can have fun WITHOUT her.

You're totally smothering her dude. It's ok to send text and what not when the time is right (like when you just left, etc), but you don't want to be sending her text everyday. You're getting paranoid. You're way too needy, and the more you try to push it the further she will go. It's not normal to be texting so much just because you've not seen each other for a while. Talk to her every day or two, but just let it be. You need to get your mind off her and stop worrying otherwise you WILL lose her.

Hobbit,

I have learnt from my mistakes and everything everyone has said to me. This is my first Long Distance Relationship, therefore I felt it was fair to start a thread discussing it.

Anyways,

She got a blackberry for me (bbm) so she can constantly communicate with me. I feel like this is going to do more harm then good. Not only now when we send each other texts, I can see it, Read it, and know when she has read it and so on. I feel like now this has changed everything. Before we would just reply when we could and so on, now we have to say.. "Ok, I am going to go now, and I will talk to you later".

I was looking forward to going home and then just facebook messaging her every two days and so on then the communication is valuable and waited for, longed for. Now its... taken advantage of.

I was wondering what you guys think? What I should do. I dont want to be needy and I dont want her to feel obliged to contact me, but it is kind of coming off like this.

First, I'm mildly disturbed at your signature.

With that out of the way, the fact that she bought you a Blackberry just to communicate with you more is pretty outstanding, in a good way. Watch out with how much you try to "game" her...she is your girlfriend, after all. You aren't supposed to delay your responses on purpose anymore. If it's really that big of an issue, don't read the message for several minutes so she can't tell if you have seen it or not.

I would say it's not so much the frequency at which you text, but what you say. Like you said before, you two kind of ruined the value of saying "I love you" by overdoing it. Just tone that kind of thing down and you should be fine.

My signature about BBM was when I helped people game, I am quite good at it and I helped quite a lot of people through BBM. Nevermind that man...

Being in a long distance relationship is a whole new category and something that is quite draining.

Do i reply to her texts straight away, Do I delay it, Do I ignore for a day, are questions I often ask myself. and I dont ask this to game her, I do it to save the relationship. We are talking a lot it is like I have a texting buddy.

To quote Colonel Walter E. Kurtz : "The horror! The horror!"

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Bro, you're not qualified to help people on Pick up. Cut that shit out before you send someone to depression.

nothing changes, your relationship keeps on even if you aren't together..keep it growing!

Needy frame, cry? Total wrong. Stop being pussy, be man, hard as a stone, and cold.