This may sound ultra beta but here goes:



When we started dating she said she wouldnt like to have our relationship status on facebook because of all the shit people write/like on those status IF things don't work out...

I found this a little odd at the time but in actual fact from what I've seen on friends' relationship change statuses in the past (Douches writing on their ex's status change etc) I kinda saw her point...

We are 5 months into going out now and she has told me she loves me etc...I can't help thinking it would make more sense to put it on there now?


Or have I missed the boat on this one?


Puzzling!

Brand new on here, just signed up.

But anyway if she is telling you she loves you and stuff then yeah I would think changing the FB status would make sense but I would let her bring this up, not you, especially if you already brought it up once before when she said no.

My own GF of close to 5 months was married once before and was engaged a second time and has told me that she isn't gonna change her FB status, even though I brought it up before. The reasons she gave me were are the same as what you listed, how people will write/ask things if things don't work out, etc etc.

Just in the 10 minutes or so of reading posts and stuff on here, I've realized lots of things that I'd been doing wrong or am still doing wrong but will change effective immediately.

a girl im talking to told me her dad has some bad medical problems well now she says she is depressed and never wants to hang out much its been a little while for her to adjust but she still doesnt wanna hang out wen theres oppertunity to what should i say? or what should i do? ill give her more time but its gettin wierd

I was dating my GF for 1 year and just recently, she got a job and said to me that the feelings she had for me are gone, and she said she doesn't see this working out because she is busy with work and hardly gets time to see me. She said that while we were on the phone, and she slowly fell asleep. I never called her after that, and she's never tried calling me back to wonder why I've never called or to give the final closure. We had a memorable year, and it was close to our 1 year anniversary and I had made these big plans for our 1 year. I'm surprised that she never called me or to say sorry or give it closure. The question is, should I let it be and just move on, or should I call and talk and finalize the closure?

A lot of the articles and posts here are on opening game, but I think that some time should be devoted to posting about relationships and how to keep the girl attracted to you and where she won't cheat on you.

dg1988

you know it isn't what you really want but you still invest energy into something you don't want... meanwhile she's being on adventures doing shit... she invited you to join her tho.

well...you seem to make the notion you cannot live without her, like you have some huge one-itis, what do you want to get out of this ''relationship'' ? The ex bullshit is just weird - hanging out with her ex is weird as well, i like mature woman who don't need to have ex-chodes around for their ego... don't see it as something bad - it's actually a red flag on her part.

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if you are having doubts about it you don't love her enough. .. sounds more like there is social status involved like '' she's so hot blabla '' and you dont want to lose it...You sound too immature for a serious relationship ( right now) , or you just don't have the time or mindset to be in one - this isn't negative or bad, maybe you are better of being single and having the time of your life. maybe you are mature for a serious relationship but you are looking to external references, how other people behave and what they do in their college time.

if you are having doubts then you don't love the girl enough... could also be this is about you and what you want in your life- maybe you don't know what you really want and you are kinda projecting it on her.

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Goodfella

alot of red flags..

here is reality.. what she says is not what she really thinks - and she herself doesn't even know it. It's not your problem really , it's just her problem - it are her red flags...you can either keep being with her and trying to escalate and do the stuff you want to do in order to escalate, but doing this will create more attachement on your part because you are trying way harder than her. saying to take things slow''because they have gone too fast '' after knowing eachother for 8 months is retarded...

i wouldn't invest....you are better of breaking up with her

could be she is very serious about it... but the chance of that is like 5% to 10 %.. just think about it how retarderd it actually is ( what she is saying ). The better way is dumping her and finding a emotional healthy woman, but if you think she's worth it and you want to take alot of risks then go ahead.

my advice: create distance and break up... if you want to argue with me for the ''why'' please go ahead.

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Elia-

here is what it looks like to me:

it looks like you first GF... no.. it looks like your first GF because she triggers the same behavioural patterns in you that make you very very needy. you have the same assocations...
either failed to have a long term relationship or any serious one because of immaturity or bad pre-selection. it goes way too fast... living together that fast is destined to fail ( in most cases ) yeah you are terribly needy that's why you shouldn't live together that fast.. it creates attachements and other weird emotional shit . don't risk you own emotional health, education and finances to go after someone else...you could go to italy and visit her that would be a serious effort on your part.

you sound like someone who doesn't want to receive love or is afraid of feeling it... why ? if you can have a good answer to this question you probably solve the biggest issue. what pay-off are you getting by avoiding a intimate relationship with someone who you really like ?

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2:35

lol you again get lost in details... it doesn't sound ultra beta it sounds like you need to analyze every bit of female behaviour lol. that's why i stopped using facebook and social media A LONG TIME AGO, because when you see something you don't like you start wondering and caring about it in a useless way ( wether it's negative or positive). if you don't see useless shit you cannot worry about useless shit, you can only worry about useless shit if you attract useless shit in your life on purpose.

that's why i do pay 0 % attention to social media... i don't even like to talk to GF on internet or the phone, i actually hate it. it's just like reading the newspaper - 90 % of what you read is usless shit and a waste of time.

she's just being insecure because she cares what other people writes about her...people who really don't give a fuck don't have facebook.

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KAM7

well what is getting weird ? does she say stupid shit ? give some examples

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vp.comp.3.3

she didn't fell asleep... just a bitch....years ago when i was a retard, woman would say this just before the relationship got fucked up. if you hear it one time it's ok.. if you hear it 2 times it's like '' what the fuck is this'' .. but if you hear it 5 times from five different woman you probably learn that it's just a tactic they use to get rid of you.

Reason ? could be they just don't have the emotional energy , could be they are not trustworthy, could be she's immature. seriously you shouldn't be nice to her... just treat her like a stranger because that's what she did to you... lol nobody falls asleep on the phone... did you ever fell asleep during a phonecall? what a lame excuse.. i fell alseep on the phone once but that was because i had drank multiple vodka shots.

no don't be angry...because she doesn't sound like a mature person anyway - you should be glad you got rid of her. don't call her at all... you care more than her but you are also more mature, a normal person would do it( closure) in a official and clear way - she is just being vague and avoidant when it comes to that.

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I got this girl that I have been seeing for the last month and a half. Were not dating but were considered together. Things are going great until one day she says to me that she can no longer do this. She then blames on the fact that she has a lot of things going on in her life and she can't be with someone at this point. I don't really know what to do because i don't wanna give up on this situation. Just need some tips on luring her back and ways of doing it. thanks!

I too agree on the matter being retarded considering 8 moths of being aquainted to oneanother. And thats why it suprised me, what happend next. We did have that chat she insisted on and it went cool nothing wierd (had a long chat, made out alot as usual). The next day there was a birthdaybash of our mutual friend, where she too was invited. As the night progressed she was practically begging to go to my place, wich i eventually agreed to (after declinig alot and giving some bs reasons not to..). After that everything has gone upscale as supposed to.

Go figure.. things arent so black and white i guess. Ofc i could write a really detailed post, wich could maybe enlighten or explain her actions, but thats not the point. My point is, to argue with you, Lode, that maybe you shouldnt dump somebody at first sight of BIG redflags, especially when they dont make sense at all (considering previous events/actions). On the contrary you should try to find out what the problem is (let things elaborate/progress a bit) before making any hasty desisions, as i almost made

The best thing to do is not giving a shit... if she starts talking like '' i don't want to have someone into my life, i have too much going etc '''
just say it's ok you are seeing other woman anyway...
preselection, jealousy trigger , not being emotional and non-needy in one. She is just testing how serious you are .. if you make a big point out of it it probably means you need alot of attention... just think about it... it's some sort of shit test. aside from that woman are freaking emotional , when they experience alot of emotions on a day they can say shit like this... it's not what they think it's just something they say.

just treat is as screening and a shit test... if you just had said '' yeah im bussy as well it's ok '' she wouldn't had make a big deal out of it.... You want more than her and this is very true, by taking her comments too seriously - making a identity out of it you lost awareness about external stuff.

The best way to obtain something of value is to let it go... just think about it.. if you don't care about losing woman whatsoever you probably don't get needy, attached or beta. How to let it go ? meditate and realize that scarcity doesn't exist, you can go to a mall today and hookup with a hot girl - if not you at least get more social skills..win-win anyway. you have a certain one-itis , it's just better if you let it go and meet other woman even if you don't feel like it, just get her out of your head....it sounds like it didn't work out and she gave you some bullshit reason that most woman give.

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ok that's great... guess that 5 or 10 % was the right scenario... i didn't say there is only one outcome and you wrote little information to comment on.

and you had some sex and you think everything is fine now ? ok well .. enlighten me .. what were her real issues.. is she too bussy or is she having daddy issues ? why was she saying all that BS before ?

my personal preference : i personally dump anyone anytime... i care about people but i had too many woman and alot of them had red flags... i don't see the point into being someones dad , psychologist - i don't have the time or energy to be in a relationship solving someone else their issues...i don't allow destructive people into my personal emotional space - i don't want psychological trade or attachement with such people... i rather friendzone them. i simply believe i do not deserve a woman with red flags - even tho i can easily deal with red flags. to my opinion most woman with red flags are immature or naieve.

if you want a relationship with a girl who says retarded shit ( which you acknowledged) then go for it if that makes you happy. fucking a woman doesn't mean you have a good or healthy relationship - it's just '' a part '' of a healthy relationship.

aside from all of that.. everyone has issues.. there is no perfect woman - i don't expect anyone to be perfect.

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