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i'm neither really ugly or really good looking (because girls would hit on me if i was).
Women don't tend to hit on men so that is no gauge. And earlier you said you've had aggressive women.
Women like men who are stable in mind, body, character, finance, mood. You seem to be intelligent and have a good career. You aren't hideous. You should be pulling decent women regularly.
How do you normally act around women? Be as honest as you can. Either you are too shy, or too needy. Since you've had aggressive women chasing you, I'd guess too shy. You probably have women sending you signals constantly yet you never notice. Those aggressive ones are the few that threw away the subtlety and went for the gusto. I bet 99% gave up.
If you want to get laid. Find a women who already knows you who you find attractive. She doesn't have to be perfect as long as she does it for you.
Simply find an excuse to get her alone and sit real close to her. Watch a movie or something. And begin with the touching, kissing. Don't ask, just do it. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't be there. It's not as hard as you think. There are willing women trust me.
The funny thing is I can guarantee there are women in your life who are just waiting.
Those aggressive women. Send them each a message.
"Hey, come over. I have something to show you."
if she asks what say:
"It's a surprise, just come over, we'll watch a movie too"
This is code for I want a booty call. It's so obvious it's ridiculous but that's the point. Now this isn't "game" so to speak, I'm just telling you how to get laid like tonight. Don't try that on women you just met. It's for women who keep advancing you or who you've slept with in the past. It does work though. Not because it's smooth or anything but because you are giving them the opportunity to take what they want.